How much energy do you expend each day on emotional matters? Are you exhausted from excessive worry?
Do you ever question yourself? Do you get anxious?
Are you drained from the incessant bickering with someone who doesn’t get it? Are you involved with a narcissist who tells you you’re imagining things?
If so, keep reading. I wrote this article just for you!
Emotional freedom is priceless. It can liberate us, reduce our stress, and enhance our lives beyond measure. Below, I’ve identified 12 tools to add to your toolbox, in obtaining emotional freedom.
1.) Leave the buts behind. (No pun intended.) Stop adding “but” after stating something you believe to be true. Instead, add a period. State your truth, sit with it, and let it marinate for awhile. The term but actually negates everything you said in the first part of the sentence, so be careful with that word.
2.) Tap into your knowledge. Whether it be through formal or informal learning, trust what you know. Ponder what you learned from your training and education, and apply it to your current situation. All of those authors and educators can’t be wrong.
3.) Listen to the feedback. Life has a way of bringing information to us, whether it be through friends, family, social media, or other types of messaging. In the words of American motivational author and founder of Hay House, Louise Hay, if there’s something we need to know, it will come to us. And when it comes, make sure you’re listening.
4.) Rely on your experiences. If each time you do X, then Y happens, then what are the chances things will play out that way again? Probably pretty good. If what you have done in the past has not worked, then try something else. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity, right? It’s not that people can’t change—it’s that many times they don’t. You make that determination.
5.) Trust your gut. Do you ever get those “hints” or feelings that something is awry? Do you ever hear a soft whisper forewarning you? People describe this as intuition, their gut, the Spirit, or some other Higher Power that they’re connected to. However you choose to describe it, something is alerting you, and I’d bet it’s always in your best interest. So trust it.
6.) Determine what you can and can’t control. The Serenity Prayer comes in handy here. The best-known form is: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Be honest about what you have control over, and develop an action plan to make any necessary changes for those items. And for what you can’t control, let it go. Change your attitude and free yourself. Now that you can control.
7.) Envision your life with emotional freedom NOW. It’s important to focus on the things you want, and the Universe will ultimately deliver them. It’s not only about positive thinking, but positive feeling. Connect your head to your heart and envision the emotional freedom that you deserve. Focus on that every day.
8.) Seek support. Having people in our lives who will support us and our endeavors is important. Connect with the people who you trust will support you, and find support groups online or in your community. You may hear something that really helps you.
9.) Tell someone. When we tell someone about our goals, we’re sort of indebted to achieve those goals. We put it out there, so we kind of have to deliver. Telling people our plans essentially holds us accountable. So tell someone your goals, and watch them come to pass.
10.) Write it down. For many people, writing things down tends to make those things real. Write down what you want on an index card, and place it in a common location where you will see it daily. This will keep you focused on your goals, thereby increasing your chances of reaching them.
11.) Set boundaries. We will get wounded when we don’t have good boundaries. Boundaries serve a purpose—to protect you and other people. If someone crosses a boundary, then let them know. Remove yourself from the situation if you need to. Whatever you do, just make sure your words and actions are sending a consistent message.
12.) Connect with your Higher Power. Our Higher Power is here for us, to guide us, protect us, and even hold us accountable. When we violate boundaries, our Higher Power will provide us feedback in the form of obstacles, barriers, pain, stress, consequences, etc. It has been said that prayer is where we ask questions and meditation is where we get answers. So, practice prayer, meditation, yoga, or other rituals to stay connected. If you don’t have a Higher Power, then turn to what you trust in time of need.
So you see, you have the power to be emotionally free. You have all the tools, at your disposal, to obtain this type of freedom.
I hope something here helps you to become—and stay—emotionally free. There are few greater rewards in the world.
Dr. Jennifer L. Prince has worked in the behavioral health industry since 2003. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and holds several degrees in psychology including a doctorate of education in counseling psychology. Her experiences are broad and include direct care in mental health and addiction services, training and education, research, and executive administration. Most notably, Dr. Prince served 12 years active duty service in the U.S. Navy, including an operational tour with the U.S. Marine Corps. She has a special place in her heart for veterans and their families. Dr. Prince’s passion is being in service to others. She seeks to empower, educate, and inspire hope through writing, teaching, coaching and mentoring, whenever and however she can. She has a particular interest in narcissism, codependency, and the common interplay of the two.