Dealing with a Narcissist: An Interview with Darlene Lancer, LMFT

DealingwithaNarcissistDarlene Lancer, JD, LMFT has been interviewed before on Mental Health News Radio. When I learned she had written another book with a focus on Narcissism, I knew we had to have her on again. Darlene is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert on relationships and codependency. She’s the author of several books and the owner of a thriving Behavioral Health practice.

Narcissism is a hot topic these days. Our own shows with specialists all over the globe that cover the many aspects of Narcissism are the most downloaded. Today we talk with Darlene about the importance of setting boundaries with these difficult people and how to raise your self-esteem so that boundary setting becomes an easier part of self-care and protection.

There are many different stages of awareness when it comes to the abuse people suffer in relationships with narcissists. With this show we take you to the origins of narcissism which is essential for anyone just beginning their traumatic journey of discovery about those on the unhealthy spectrum of narcissism.


DarleneLancer8StepsJoin us as we discuss this important topic.  Some of the discussions points are listed  below:

What is the myth about Narcissus?

What is the continuum of narcissism?

What are the causes of narcissism?

What’s the relationship between codependency and narcissism?

What attracts a person to a narcissistic partner?

What type of person usually gets involved with a narcissist romantically?

What makes narcissists so defensive and difficult to communicate with?

What are positive and negative indicators that a narcissist will change?

What are the necessary steps to deal with them?

There is much debate about whether narcissists can truly be healed?

What is your belief about this subject?

Another debated topic is around whether or not there is such a thing as healthy narcissism.  Many believe all narcissism is unhealthy.  Where do you stand in this debate?

The very word narcissism is being thrown around quite casually these days.  While we are happy this terminology is being discussed openly and in the mainstream, we also don’t want a watered down affect of what has truly hurt people.  In your opinion, how do we carefully advocate for victims of this abuse while not making blanket statements about this disorder that may be applied to wounded people that are actually capable of evolving?

Not everyone is ready or able to completely disconnect from their narcissistic partner.  They have to learn tools about how to cope which is what some of your book is about.  How do they keep their strength up when the very nature of this disorder is that it toxically infects those close to the narcissist?

Ms. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 28 years and coaches internationally. She’s a sought after speaker at national conferences, on radio, and to professional groups and institutions. Her articles appear in professional journals and Internet mental health websites.

Darlene Lancer is a well-known codependency author and expert.  She explains the narcissist’s mind and motives and the personality of their partners. Dealing with a Narcissist reveals the unconscious forces driving their mutual attraction and relationship dynamics and sheds light on the damaging impact narcissists have on their partners and children. This is also workbook with strategies that can improve your self-esteem and help you maintain your self-respect and set boundaries in relationships with addicts, narcissists, or emotionally abusive people.

If you were at first charmed by a narcissist, you soon had to contend with self-centeredness, defensiveness, and escalating criticisms and demands. Trying to satisfy them can feel impossible, and neither stops abuse, nor produces genuine caring and reciprocity. You end up frustrated and hurt that your feelings and needs are dismissed or ignored. Steadily, your self-esteem, confidence, trust, and independence decline in the relationship, as you give up more of yourself. Whether you want to improve your relationship or are ambivalent about staying or leaving, Dealing with a Narcissist – 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries provides clarity and tools to handle interactions with difficult people. You’ll strengthen your self-esteem and gain the ability to set boundaries and communicate effectively. Eight steps are recommended with specific exercises and techniques, which are applicable to any relationship with a difficult person—whether passive-aggressive, controlling, abusive, manipulative, or with a borderline or narcissistic personality disorder.

Darlene can be contacted via her website at and She is the author of multiple books which can be found on her Amazon author page.. She can also be found on YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook. For immediate contact please email her at

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