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What I Would have Done Differently … with Dr. Mona Kay

Dan and Stephanie talk to Dr. Mona Kay of the NeuroDiverse Love podcast.

We will talk from Dr. Mona’s perspective about what she wishes she would have done differently in her ND relationship. Advice to NT spouses.

About Dr. Mona Kay:
Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D., is the founder of the Neurodiverse Love community, the host of the Neurodiverse Love Podcast, and the creator of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards. She was in a mixed-neurotype marriage for 30 years but didn’t discover this until her 29th year of marriage. Mona has been divorced since 2018, and her mission is to increase understanding and acceptance of the strengths, differences, and challenges in mixed-neurotype relationships.

She hosted the first virtual “Neurodiverse Love Conference” in February 2023, and more than 350 people from around the world attended. In addition, she facilitates online support groups for mixed-neurotype couples and neurotypical/non-autistic partners and shares lots of valuable resources on her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com.

You can contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Boundaries vs Codependency, Godly Sorrow vs Worldly Sorrow with Barbara Grant

Dan and Stephanie talk with fellow NeuroDiverse Couples’ Coach Barbara Grant.

About Barbara Grant:
Barbara Grant, CAS, NCC, is a Certified Autism Specialist (IBCCES) and certified Neurodiverse Couples Coach (AANE) and is near the completion of her Master’s in MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy.) She has been trained through the International Association of ND Christian Marriage. She has been coaching and offering Biblical counseling since
2005, working with individuals, couples, and groups. Her current coaching practice focuses on neurodiverse couples, individuals, and families and offers support groups for
neurotypicals. Barbara enjoys people! She herself is neurotypical; her first marriage (of 20 years) was to a neurodiverse partner and has a neurodiverse adult child from that marriage.

She brings a lifetime of experience, compassion, and understanding to all her clients and is becoming a significant voice in the growing dialog about how to best support and strengthen neurodiverse relationships.
NT SUPPORT GROUPS (2 kinds):
1. Strength for saying in the Marriage
2. Healthy Separation/ Divorce
Advantages of group therapy:
• Safe, confidential Zoom group (8 max)
• “Solution-focused” therapy model
• Incubator for change and growth
• Supports movement through stages of change
• Cross-sharing, learning from others
• Healing experience to share and be validated
• Multiple prayer partners – friendships
• Goal setting and homework
• Best value for time/money

HOW TO WORK WITH BARBARA:
? Free 25 min Consultation
? online coaching agreement and intake questionnaire
? 90 min intake session
? Goal setting
? ongoing 55 min sessions (weekly, bi-monthly, etc.)
? HOMEWORK (customized for each client)
? Option of support group (better value for time/money spent)
? Req. a free consult: www.HopeForCouples.net

Barbara’s website: https://bg-hc.com/

She Deserves Better with Sheila Gregoire

Dan and Stephanie are excited to have back as our guest, Sheila Gregoire. While we push back on the modesty and purity movement along with courtship teachings that encourage rules and roles, we speak to the truth of abstinence and reserving sex for marriage while teaching both men and women to respect boundaries versus putting all the responsibility on girls/women.
We will discuss the new book, She Deserves Better. The publisher’s notes about the book:
What if the most common teachings girls hear in youth groups make them more likely to marry an abuser? Less likely to understand consent? And more likely to blame themselves if they are assaulted?
Parents want their daughters to thrive–to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for them. But is the church working against them? Armed with data from an all-new survey of more than 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray
Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky, reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women’s self-esteem and relationships today in their new book She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and
Speaking Up.

They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire: the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime girls for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep them from setting healthy boundaries.

This book tackles tough topics like:
• The dating rule that works best—except when it doesn’t
(and why we need nuance)
• How we can talk about clothing choices without causing
body image issues or blaming girls for boys’ thoughts
• How to talk about saving sex without idolizing virginity or
creating sexual anxiety
• How we can protect our daughters from a church hurt
that could send them fleeing the faith
• And so much more

About Our Guest:
Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog. She’s also an award-winning author of nine books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to line up with kingdom principles.

Sheila lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband. They have two adult daughters and two grandbabies.

Research Insights into the AS Female Phenotype with Dr. Will Carroll

Join Dr. Holmes as she interviews researcher and clinician Dr. Will Carroll on the topic of Autism Female Phenotypes. The discussion includes why females may be missed, and the diagnoses females receive before a later autism identification. Dr. Carroll will discuss a missed opportunity of research, and that is information a sister can provide with insight into having a sister on the spectrum. Other topics covered in this discussion: are friendships, eating disorders, depression, and suicide, as well as passionate interests.

From Dr. Carroll’s Research:
From my own research, I found two types of interests: shared and unique interests. In the shared category, the women with ASD shared their interests, specifically with their sisters. These shared interests included media like cartoons and sci-fi shows or entertainment, arts and crafts, and reading.
This is in comparison to those interests that were unique to the woman with ASD, such as academics, including history, art, literature, foreign languages, and musical instrument playing.

Consider the systemizable factor to these Special Interests.
There was a noticeable overlap in the interests, including the woman with ASD enjoying TV shows both by herself and with her sister and the woman with ASD doing crafts or handy work both by herself and with her sister.
When the woman with ASD had a trusted companion (sister, parent), they could let go of their Special Interest for a time and engage in hobbies that didn’t involve collecting.
Considering the Female Autism Phenotype, the theory is that traits of ASD in women are uniquely different from those of men. Though my research did not look at men with ASD and their brothers, research suggests that women with ASD are more likely to have Special Interests more closely aligned with neurotypical women (Harrop et al, 2018).
In my own practice, I see a number of women with ASD. Their Special interests include drawing, small gardening, collecting small tokens from an internet or video game they like, and video gaming. These women report liking the video games for the social aspect as well as the story and the achievements they earn while playing the game (Genshin Impact, Animal Crossing).

Bio:
Dr. Will Carroll is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Georgia. He earned his Master’s in Professional Counseling from Liberty University in 2012 and his Ph.D. from Liberty in 2021. He has been in private practice in Marietta, GA He enjoys outdoor activities, including Obstacle Course Races and kayaking around the lakes and rivers of north Georgia. Originally from South Georgia, Will made his home in Cartersville, GA, in 2008, with his wife, Shannon, and his three children. Will’s area of expertise is in the treatment of Autism Spectrum Disorder using varied techniques, including innovative approaches such as Lego Therapy. His Ph.D. dissertation is on the unique qualities associated with women with Autism as seen from the perspective of their adult sisters.

Found here:
https://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/doctoral/3088/
You can contact him at:
willcarroll.therapist@gmail.com
Dr. Carroll only works with clients in the state of Georgia.

The 4 Soils and YOUR Marriage (Parable of the Sower)

Dan and Stephanie take a look at the parable of the sower or the parable of the 4 soils found in Matthew 13:1-23 & Mark 4:1-20.

While we understand in context this parable is about the seed being the Word of the Lord, we talk about the soil of your heart being open to change and transformation to the Holy Spirit and call for an examination of what condition the soil of your heart concerning your marriage? How “plowable” and soft are you to learning new things? Trying new things? Giving up old habits?
Dan has spoken in his groups that husband comes from the word farmer in many languages. What kind of farmer are you? Are you caring for your garden and your helping the ground stay soft, or are you throwing salt on the soil or abandoning the field?

Wives, are you open when your husband makes necessary changes and is willing to rebuild trust and safety to forgive? Are you open to new ways of communicating as well?

Broken & Crushed to Redeemed & Restored

We all love a good story of a broken marriage that is redeemed and restored, but sometimes happily ever after does not happen, and people can be broken and crushed by their marriage or divorce. We talk today with coaches, Iris Knapp and Cathy Young, who have the heart to help women restore their identity in Christ and be redeemed and restored to their Imago Dei even when the marriage was not restored.
We talk about types of abuse and the difference between coaching and counseling. How can a life coach help you?
The book mentioned was Mending the Soul. This is designed to be done in a group/community setting.
www.mendingthesoul.org
We mentioned a course we have produced where Iris shares her story, and some ladies share their stories of why they had to choose divorce. An AS man shared what he wished he would have known and changed before his wife divorced him.
https://courses.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/courses/educate-module-3

About our Guests:
Cathy Young:
Cathy has two young adult sons and a very friendly cavoodle
named Casper. She has worked extensively in paid and unpaid
Christian ministry and, more recently, has become and worked
as a Professional Supervisor and Christian Life Coach. Cathy
has always had the goal of proclaiming Jesus so that everyone
she meets may be presented mature in Him. As a Christian
Life Coach, she sees one of her main roles as helping people
(especially women) grab hold of the “Life to the full” that
Jesus offers. She is a Life and Wellbeing Coach and is Certified
by AIFC Australian Institute of Family Counseling.

Cathy Young (in AUS)
Life and Wellbeing Coach
(e) cathy@lifetothefullcoaching.com.au
(m) 0413 235 878

Iris Knapp:
Over 50 years of ministry experience, now a Life Coach.
Raised Jewish and came to know Jesus as Messiah in 1969 during the “Jesus Freak” revival.
15 years Full-time Ministry
24 years of experience as a woman’s small group/support group Lead facilitator
18 years Mothers Support Group facilitator
6 years Womans’ & Neurodiverse support Group/Bible facilitator
Professional Christian Life Coach
Certified with Light University
Certified with AIFC Australian Institute of Family Counseling
Ministerial Licensed with IAOG International Assemblies of God Fellowship
ND Training with the International Association of ND Christian Couples

Reach out to Iris at: coachingwithiris@gmail.com
www.CoachingwithIris.com
New groups forming!

Healing from Cassandra Syndrome with Margot Alexis

Join Stephanie and Dan as they talk with Margot Alexis about healing from Cassandra Syndrome.

We will ask Margot all about:
What is Cassandra syndrome?
What are the long-term effects of Cassandra Syndrome?
Why do you think NT women have a difficult time getting support from friends and family?
What is the first step in recovery?
How is letting go different from giving up?

About Margot:
Margot Alexis is the founder of Healing Cassandra and the host of the Healing Cassandra Podcast. She is in a 28-year neurodiverse marriage. Margot is a creative, entrepreneur, and is devoted to helping women find their voice. The mission of Healing Cassandra is to create a community that empowers women to nurture their well-being. Margot believes that we don’t have to rely on the hope that our husbands will change in order for us to feel fulfilled. Cassandra women can reclaim their lives and begin a new journey to rediscover and reconnect with themselves.

Find out more at:
https://www.healingcassandra.com/about

Disclaimer:
When we have guests on the ASR podcast, they are recognized for their expertise on autism as an advocate, self-advocate, clinicians, parents, or other professionals in the field. They may or may not be part of the faith community; having a guest on the broader topic of autism does not reflect complete agreement with the guest, just as many guests may not agree with our faith perspective. Guests are chosen by topic for the chosen podcast discussion and are not necessarily in full agreement with all beliefs of the chosen guest(s).

Marriage on the Spectrum: It's Better than we ever imagined with Jeremy & Charity Rochford

Stephanie and Dan have as their guests a fellow ND Christian Couple and Coaching Team, Jeremy and Charity Rochford. Our show today covers Jeremy’s later-in-life identification on the spectrum, parenting two children on the spectrum, and how the couple has learned to communicate effectively and learned to support one another through their 20+ year relationship. They have been coaches and trained coaches but have gone through the International Association of ND Christian Marriage training, and we are proud to support and help launch their coaching into this much-needed area.
You can find out more about this training at:
https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/courses

Jeremy and Charity have contributed to our blog at:
https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/post/an-autism-diagnosis-it-s-not-a-label-it-s-life-s-ultimate-cheat-code

About Jeremy and Charity Rochford
Jeremy has spent the past 15 years helping busy professionals lose weight and achieve their fitness goals by mentoring them through the same process he developed, and used, to lose 200lbs himself. He is a speaker/performer coach, weight loss mentor, and author of The Gospel According to Chubby. Charity spent most of her career in HR/Benefits and now spends her time as a costume mom and travel agent.
Jeremy and Charity, Team Rochford as they are affectionately known, are both certified Life Coaches, now specializing in individuals and couples. Having recently discovered Jeremy’s place on the spectrum, they’ve pivoted coaching efforts to help other neuro-diverse couples. They’re working to launch their website, NeuroFam, with additional offerings, later this year.
The couple was originally from western Pennsylvania, meeting nearly 25 years ago at the California University of Pennsylvania, where Jeremy studied Communications and Charity studied Psychology. They have spent time living states apart and learning to navigate a long-distance relationship, first while Charity was working at Walt Disney World in Florida and then while Jeremy was playing for Christian rock bands on the east coast and in Tennessee. They spent some of their early married years in eastern PA, then spent 10 years in Nashville before moving back to the Pittsburgh area in 2018. They now live in the 1990s with their 2 children in the suburbs of western Pennsylvania.

How to find them:
You can reach them directly at Jeremy@OurNeuroFam.com or Charity@OurNeuroFam.com

Jeremy has a Ted Talk and also is a weight loss coach.
https://www.jeremyrochford.com/

Laughing my pants off – Can humor cure obesity? | Jeremy Rochford | TEDxAntioch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hEPXNBFD5Y

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