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RECLAIMING YOUR BODY AFTER AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GUEST: Anna-Thea

For many women–and men, too, restoring a feeling of safety to enjoy sexual intimacy seems a long way off. Anna-Thea share invaluable insights for regaining that sense of safety. Trust, too, can be a big issue. In fact, letting a new person into your life at all can cause concern. That’s natural. You are wise to take care of yourself. Today’s insights in this episode can help so much! You want to attract a healthier partner this time, I know. It’s SO important that you feel safe to establish sexual intimacy, and that means establishing emotional intimacy first! Sure, sex can be exciting just for it’s own sake. It’s not usually a good way to begin a relationship, though, if you’re hoping for a long0term relationship. Yes, I know, there is often a feeling of pressure to be intimate in many early relationships. Resist the urge to have sex until you actually feel emotionally safe with someone! Does that seem do-able and/or wise? Today, Anna-Thea and I talk about why we have to redefine love in order to see healthier pathways to create and experience it. You can have great sex with someone and never be able to talk about your feelings, for instance. Is that a good thing for you? Not likely if you’re hoping to have a healthy relationship with a partner in life! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why we have to redefine loveWhat makes the Feminine special and SacredHow attracting a healthy person requires being healthy yourselfWhy your body is not a “negotiation”Where the meeting place between safety and vulnerability is Do you need help to make the shift to consider a new relationship after leaving an emotionally abusive one? We can talk. warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: ANNA-THEAAnna-Thea educates women to connect to the power and sacredness of their feminine side – certified from the Divine Feminine Institute as a Divine Feminine Educator and Spiritual Sexual Educator. Graduating with honors with a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition, she also holds a double certification in yoga and taught yoga for many years. She now focuses her attention on Divine Feminine Education. Her book “Empower Yourself by Loving Your Body” offers powerful insights for women.FREE GIFT FROM ANNA-THEA:Enjoy Anna-Thea’s Love Quiz here: https://annathea.org/love-testCONTACT ANNA-THEAWebsite: https://annathea.orgPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-thea-fabricius-4b16bb7Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/annatheafabInstagram https://www.instagram.com/divinefeminine.educatorTwitterhttps://twitter.com/theannatheaYouTube:——————————————————————————————————————————–Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. When you like my pages, or subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the notification bell, you’ll hear about each Monday’s livestream where you can join in and ask questions, too. FOLLOW DR. SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler————————————————————-I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle———————————————————————-#reclaimingyourbodyafterabuse #intimacyafteremotionalabuse #intimacyafterphysical abuse #intimacyaftersexualabuse #comfortablewithsex #comfortablewithyourbody #recoveringtoenjoysexafterabuse #recoveringafterabuse #annathea #empoweryourselfbylovingyourbody#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

4 TYPES & 3 DEGREES OF NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR

You likely give people the benefit of the doubt, or are willing to go the extra mile for them. That’s healthy and usually reciprocal. Great! BUT, when you’re with someone with narcissistic behaviors, it’s not healthy or reciprocal. It’s unhealthy and one-sided.Most people immediately think of a particular set of traits when they think of narcissism in general: the blustery, look-at-me, superior, grandiose example. And, yes, that is definitely one of the types. Sometimes harder to detect–or harder to believe exist–are the other three contrasting types. Some are sneaky. Some play on your heartstrings. Some simply don’t care! Knowing about these four types can expand the way you look at a troublesome, difficult, or toxic set of traits and realize what’s likely going on. That’s a big help! How will it help? When you clearly see the patterns, traits, cycles and behaviors of another person, you can make healthy decisions for yourself as to whether you would like to stay in the relationship. Should I stay or should I leave? You need to know what the possibilities for change are, right? So often, new clients come with that exact question, “Stay or go?” There’s so much to calibrate and they want guidance, information, and direction to make those healthier decisions. And, what if there are children to consider? A huge consideration!!! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:4 different types of narcissistsDistinguishing features of each type of narcissistic behaviorWhy it’s important to talk about narcissistic behavior or narcissistic tendencies rather than a diagnosisHow two types of narcissistic behavior can have degrees of severityCan people with narcissistic leanings change? Wondering about your relationship as it relates to narcissism?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month and that includes two monthly group Ask Her Anything calls, too! ———————————————————————-#typesofnarcissists #narcissistictypes #grandiosenarcissist #vulnerablenarcissist #communalnarcissist #malignantnarcissist #thedarktriad #narcissistictraits #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

10 Emotionally Abusive Things Hijackals Say Often

You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it’s being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer. #Hijackals are always looking for a way, a place, an opening to exert power over you. I’m thinking that you’re nodding your head in agreement as you read that, right? Hijackals will go to any lengths to be right, to win, to make you wrong, and make everything your fault. It’s the Hijackal’s nature to do that. And, it is exhausting! You can become so worn down that you may even start believing what a Hijackal says about you. Has that happened to you? Or, maybe, you got to the “Whatever!” stage? You have been judged, criticized, gaslighted, and ignored, too. They feel powerful when they do those things: large and in charge, they think. They are not. They are actually small and afraid, but they’ll never, ever see or admit that. In this episode, I’ve offered ten of the multitude of things a narcissist or other Hijackal will say to you to put you in your place, or so they think! In their worlds, they must be the top of the pile, and they honestly think that their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, preferences, memories, whims, and demands should take precedence over everyone else’s. Yes, they may do that in an overt, obvious, even grandiose way. They also may do it in a “I’m a victim” covert way. In fact, many times, they’ll use both, just to cover their bases. How to respond to this to save your sanity and stop second-guessing yourself? I offer you clear ways to work on that. ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why narcissistic Hijackals (in fact, all Hijackals) need to demean, dismiss, and discount you10 phrases they use to hopefully gain power over youHow to use your inner dialogue to not shrink when a narcissist is nastyRecognizing more ways that emotional abuse shows up in primary relationships with parents, partners, siblings, and adult childrenHow to stick to the facts and respond accordingly Do you need insights and strategies for mitigating and responding to emotional and verbal abuse?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Save $24 on your first three months.———————————————————————-#emotionallyabusive #nastythingsnarcissistssay #whatnarcissistssay #howtoneutralize #neutralizeemotionalabuse #neutralizingverbalabuse #yourinternaldialogue #notgoodenough #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT

Ugh! The narcissistic Hijackal falls silent, ignores you, and won’t respond. What’s up with that? What are they hoping to achieve? What’s your internal dialogue? What ways are most effective to respond? That’s today’s episode. So dismissive! Hijackals can treat you as though you’re invisible, erased, and definitely not present. They want to impress upon you the contempt they feel for you. So, they fall silent. Big power move…or, so they think! Until you understand the dynamics of this, you may be upset, distressed, and doing everything in your power to get the Hijackal to starting talking to you. Have you done that? What was the cost? I’ll bet it was at the expense of your self-esteem at the very least! Hijackals and other narcissistic folks–and other passive-aggressive people–want you to think they have power over you. When they can’t win by talking, they try to by The Silent Treatment. It’s nasty. For some of them, they do it because they don’t know what else to do. Pathetic! For others, they do it to impress on you just how upset they are with you. Is it working? So much of the BIG silence is emotionally abusive. I’m sure you’ve felt that, but have you allowed yourself to call it that? In this episode, I talk about seven ways that The Silent Treatment is emotionally abusive. After you listen, you’ll be able to clearly see what’s up with that in your relationship. ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What Hijackals want to avoid by giving you The Silent TreatmentWhy narcissistic folks misguidedly think The Silent Treatment will work7 ways to recognize The Silent Treatment as emotional abuse6 ways NOT to respond to The Silent Treatment4 MUST-DOS to respond to The Silent TreatmentIf you’re tired of the drama, the manipulation, and The Silent Treatment,  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Save $24 on your first three months.———————————————————————-#silenttreatment #respondingtothesilenttreatment #whatsupwiththat #whatbulliesdo #thesilenttreamentisabusive #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

HIJACKALS & THEIR WARPED SENSE OF FAIR, JUST & EQUAL

Hijackals & other narcissistic people have neither thought nor intention of leveling any playing field. No, it’s about the all important winning. Why? What can you do or say? Use the ideas in this episode to step back from the crazy-making! When you’re in a relationship with a relatively healthy person, you work things out. In working them out together, you build trust and safety. It brings you closer. Not so when you’re dealing with narcissistic #Hijackals! They do not want to create emotional intimacy, so getting closer to them is really swooping in for the win. It is not something they can, or want to, sustain. You’ve likely noticed that. Why do they have out-of-proportion responses when you ask something small from them? Sadly, everything threatens them, and they resist any form of healthy giving. Normally healthy people, when offended, have a reaction, cool down, and things can be repaired. Hijackals react by devaluing you, threatening, punishing, disregarding, discarding, or the power move of The Silent Treatment. Learn more about these tactics in this episode. Also, learn four solid ways to respond when you recognize that you have been trying to fit in, please, or appease a person with narcissistic tendencies. Great steps to finding and reclaiming your personal power, the power to operate from your own thoughts, feelings, values, vision, beliefs, and desires. I know you don’t desire move emotional abuse, right? You’ll be empowered by taking these four steps! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Most healthy enough relationships operate on fairness. Not so in a relationship with a #Hijackal.Why narcissistic Hijackals operate in their own self-interestWhy no meaningful solutions are found to relationship difficulties with a narcissistic personWays to respond to the warped sense of equality, fairness and justiceSteps to be emerging empowered as you recognize the warp and respondIf you’re exhausted and worn down by a toxic relationship, let’s talk about how to be emerging empowered from this warped world of Hijackals.  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Save $24 on your first three months.———————————————————————-#narcissistareunfair #neverequal #alwaysbetterthanme #needtowin #hijackalsneedtowin #oneupmanship #nothingisfair #hairlinesenseofjustice #narcissisticwould #narcissisticneeds @narcissistictendencies #warpedworld #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

8 Damaging Roles Narcissistic Parents Assign to Their Children

You had no choice in the role a narcissistic parent created for you and assigned to you. You were stuck with it–while usually being quite unaware of it. It’s just the way your family is, like it or not, right? NOW, in this episode, see your assigned role(s) so you can shed them and choose again! In episode #201 on pseudomutuality, I talked about how #Hijackals like to paint a public picture of perfection on their families, which creating a private place of pain at home, within the family. Hijackals don’t like the assigned roles I talk about in this episode to show in any way. It becomes a big family secret to them. In fact, they will deny that these roles exist: “I love all of my wonderful children equally.” Now, we know that’s not true. In fact, sometimes, it’s a question of if they love any of them…or, anyone except themselves. (That’s a topic for another time, though.)In the episode, I mentioned these two definitions from Webster’s dictionary. I’m including them here because some people think that scapegoats and black sheep are the same. There is an important distinction: BLACK SHEEP: “a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards of their group.”SCAPEGOAT” “a person made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place.” Quite a difference when you’re bearing the brunt of the role, particularly! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:How pseudomutuality creates a false front, masking the assigned roles a narcissistic parent gave you8 different roles you may have observed or experienced within your familyWhy narcissistic, Hijackal parents assign these rolesHow the “ruler of the household” assigns the labelsWhy everyone in the household goes along with themHow your assigned roles may still be affecting your self-esteem and adult relationships If you recognize some issues your family of origin created, I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.———————————————————————-#rolesinanarcissisticfamily #narcissisticfamilyrules #beingascapegoat #goldenchild #blacksheepofthefamily #familyemotionalabuse #borderlinepersonalitydisorder#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Why Power is the Enemy of Love

Power in relationships can be a very difficult and disturbing issue. Of course, if you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or adult child, you’re well aware of that! This episode will give you new insights into solving ever-arising issues! My guest, Mira Kirschenbaum, wrote in Why Couples Fight: “A power move is anything we do or say that makes the other person feel disempowered.” Of course, it’s all in the perception, however, if each of us is careful not to purposefully say or do something that is designed to make another feel disempowered, it’s a great start! So, are you responsible for feeling empowered? That’s a big question we talk through during the episode. As Mira says in a recent article on her website: ChestnutHillInstitute.com : “If you have an 800-pound gorilla in your room–in this case, a gorilla of power imbalances and power struggles–you have to step up and make dealing with it a priority. Just the way you would if you came home and found an actual 800-pound gorilla in your room. The first step is just understanding the problem and taking it seriously. Then, doing what works to solve it.” HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:6 Signs Power Problems are Poisoning Your RelationshipThe smartest thing to do when you feel disempowered in a relationshipWhy creating distance can be destructive in relationships sometimesIdentifying power moves in you relationshipA 3-Step process for resolving relationship conflict Not all issues in a relationship have an equitable solution. Using Mira Kirschenbaum’s 3-Step process is a great start! warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: MIRA KIRSHENBAUMMira has an international reputation as a therapist working with individuals, couples, and families. People from all over the world have come to seek her help, including royalty and people prominent in entertainment, business, medicine, law, sports, and, of course men and women in all walks of life. Mira has always made an effort to work with people who are disadvantaged. Mira has lectured and done training at Harvard and made countless appearances on TV, radio, and in print. She’s appeared a number of times on the Today Show, CNN, and numerous daytime talk shows, and has been interviewed frequently in magazines such as Cosmo, Glamour, and Town and Country. Mira was one of the pioneers of feminist therapy and family therapy in Boston. She was also a founding member of One Generation After in Boston, an organization for children of Holocaust survivors designed to educate the public about the Holocaust and the dangers of genocide and racism. Throughout her career, Mira’s focus has been on giving people, particularly women, the tools they need to give themselves the lives they want and need. Her work has always been focused on empowerment within a full understanding of the person’s context.FREE GIFT FROM MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:Not at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:Website: https://www.mirakirshenbaum.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mira-kirshenbaum-b7a57717/Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/youcanjustcallmemiraInstagram https://www.instagram.com/mirakirshenbaum/Twitterhttps://twitter.com/MiraKirshenbaumYouTube:——————————————————————————————————————————–Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler————————————————————-I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle———————————————————————-#MIRAKIRSHENBAUM #powertruinsrelationship #poweristhenemyoflove #powerintoxicrelationships #poweroveryourpartner #powerproblems #powermoves #powerinrelationships #relationshippoison #poisoningyourrelationship#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Fear of All-Or-Nothing Thinking

Everything is a potential deal breaker when all-or-nothing thinking prevails! People who were raised in emotional abusive homes learn to think that way. If you are with one, you may be on the receiving end and need to understand and name it. You need to be able to do that. If you were raised by an emotionally abusive parent, you may have learned to use all-or-nothing thinking as a safety mechanism, or a defense mechanism. You didn’t choose it. You learned it. Now, it’s wise to have a look at the behavior and see if it is still required, and/or serving you well. Another name for black-or white- all-or-nothing thinking is “splitting.” Here’s a definition from Wikipedia: “a failure in thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities in self and others into a realistic, cohesive whole.” That means that you get caught in pairs of opposites, with no consideration of all the possibilities in between. That doesn’t leave many options, does it? Life is full of possibilities, changes, and growth points. When you–or someone you care about–gets stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, the richness is gone, and fear has replaced it. ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:How all-or-nothing thinking affects your inner dialogue, your self-talkThe definition of “splitting”Why there is focus on extremes in all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinkingHow all-or-nothing thinking reflects fear of shame, blame, and criticismSix fears that underlie black-or-white thinkingChronic stress, anxiety, and depression related to distorted thinking5 strategies to help you shift away from all-or-nothing thinking Now you can see why it is SO important to recognize this pattern. If it’s within you, you’ll want to change it. If it’s coming at you, understand it and make decisions about your relationship. I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.———————————————————————-#allornothingthinking #blackorwhitethinking #crazy-making #livinginfearofshame #fearofshame #splitting #cognitivedistortion #seeingdownsidepotential #focusingonthenegative #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Scam, Sham & Spam of Pseudomutuality

You know how some people and families both “put on a front: and are “a closed shop?” You can sense that something is off but the story they tell sounds good. They may be SO good at the story that you can’t help but believe it. Why would you question it? And then, you marry into it and the legs fall off! YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS!  Mutuality is one of the three MUST-HAVES I talk about in order to have a healthy adult relationship. In my book, Kaizen for Couples, I described it this way: “Mutuality is for emotional grown-ups. It is based on an interest in each other as whole, complex people living in the present. When dependence or do-dependence are consistently present in a relationship, mutuality cannot be. Mutuality, then, is a defining condition for a healthy mature relationship….When there are imbalances in mutuality between partners in a primary relationship, they can lead to significant psychological pain. This pain is elusive and hard to pin down or describe. It feels like a loss without a number: something’s missing but what is it? …Mutuality demands much more from you both. It requires your active interest in each other as different, complex and fascinating individuals. …What is important in mutuality is that you magnify your attunement and responsiveness to each other.” Now imagine that you honesty believe that mutuality exists in the person you are creating a long-term relationship with, or exists in the family in which you are joining, and then, you find it doesn’t. A false story was presented to look good to you, but it has no substance. In fact, the opposite is true. That’s what happens when Pseudomutuality is presented. Now you know why it is important to learn more and listen in. ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What is PseudomutualityHow pseudomutuality compares with healthy mutuality ( Kaizen for Couples )The scam and sham of creating an agreed upon “family story” to look good to othersThe double bind of living within pseudomutualityWhy it is crazy-making and will cause you to question your sanityWhy the “appearance” of bonding in healthy ways is not necessarily what is true Do you see more clearly now that the partner or family you have been experiencing this through is troubled?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.———————————————————————-#pseudomutuality #pretendingtobeloving #coveringupabuse #marriedintoanabusivefamily #superficialappearance #surfaceharmony #lieofloyalty #abusivefamily #coveringupabuse #pretendingtobefunctional #emotionalabusers#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

What a Formerly Toxic CEO Learned That Transformed All His Relationships

Have you experienced a toxic boss? Were you one? Today’s guest, Krister Ungerbock, admits to, at one time, being an aggressive boss. Maybe, even, a toxic one. He changed. Learn why and how it became important to him to shift, and how that lead to his writing 22 TALK SHIFTS: TOOLS TO TRANSFORM LEADERSHIP When you have a toxic parent, you may pick up toxic behaviors. That can ruin your personal relationships, for sure. However, that can also have a huge, negative impact on how you lead in business. Krister learned that the hard way. He did see it, and knew he wanted to change it. That’s self-awareness! In this interview, Krister shares how autonomy at work is more effective than even a pay raise for many folks to feel valued and an integral part of the company. That’s a SHIFT! Would that work for you? Have you considered that shift? Making that shift can certainly change your relationships at home, too. Krister talks openly about how that went for him, too. Personal shifts have a ripple effect on all relationships. This is a candid talk about personal change that lead to positive effects as the CEO of a company. As CEO of your life, these can apply to you, as well. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:How Krister Ungerbock stopped himself from being a toxic bossTranscending a toxic relationship with fatherExamples of “toxic shifts”Tips to help with anger management What makes an apology acceptableCreating mutual trust and autonomyIf you are, were, or have been experiencing an aggressive boss or CEO, this episode is for you! Oh, and if you think your personal relationships may need an upgrade, it’s for you, too! warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: KRISTER UNGERBOCKKrister Ungerbock is a former CEO of a global tech company and a multilingual leadership communication expert. His work has appeared in NPR, Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, HR.com, Chief Executive, Recruiter.com and Entrepreneur. Prior to exiting corporate life at age 42, Krister was CEO of one of the largest family-owned software companies in the world. While leading the company to over 3,000% revenue growth, his team achieved remarkable employee engagement levels of 99.3%, won five consecutive Top Workplace Awards and became a dominant player in its market niche. FREE GIFT FROM KRISTER UNGERBOCK:Not at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR KRISTER UNGERBOCK :Website: https://Krister.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristeru/Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/meetkristerInstagram: Twitter: https://twitter.com/meetkristerYouTube:——————————————————————————————————————————–Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler————————————————————-I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle———————————————————————-#22talkshifts #kristerungerbock #toxicfather #toxicex #aggressiveboss #aggressiveceo #toxicshifts #sincereapologies #angermanagement #angermanagementatwork #trustandautonomy #autonomyatwork #trustatwork #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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