You want a best friend and a narcissist won’t be one. You want a confidante and a narcissist uses your words against you. At best, Hijackals® are frenemies. You’re unsafe around them. You feel the lack of safety, but sometimes you don’t want to admit it. You recognize the friend/foe nature of them, and don’t want it to be so.
Listen in to why it is important to recognize that frenemies is as close as you will ever really get to them. Sad, I know, but REAL!
If you have a Hijackal® in your life, you have a frenemy. No doubt about it! A frenemy is a person who combines the characteristics of a friends and an enemy. Once you know a Hijackal, you know that the “enemy” is always lurking. You cannot relax completely…if at all. They are ready to pounce unexpectedly. And, it hurts!
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• What frenemies are
• How frenemies scare you
• Why you’re often afraid to get rid of a frenemy
• 10 distinct kinds of frenemies (Oh, dear!)
• Make a decision about them….preferably now!

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#frenemies #frenemy #narcissistsarefrenemies #highpricetopayforlove #narcissisticfrenemy#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sure, narcissistic folks can be charming when you meet them. You just don’t know what’s lurking in the background, right? It can happen quickly that Hijackals® go from charming to manipulative, but it may take a while to catch on to what’s going on. Basically, though, they are awkward, angry, and argumentative.
In this episode, I talk about what “awkward” really means, and why it applies so well to the shenanigans of a Hijackal. Also, about why and the how the anger serves them, and results in you walking on eggshells. Once you see these things, you’ll be better able to make good decisions for yourself about what to do about the behaviors.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Seeing narcissistic behavior clearly
• How narcissists are awkward as well as creating awkward situations
• The immature anger of narcissistic Hijackals
• 4 ways to recognize the argumentative nature of narcissists

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#narcissistsanger #argumentativenarcissist #hownarcissistsare #difficultpeople #seeingnarcissisticbehaviors#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In healthy situations, you would never think that empathy and compassion could have downsides, right? When you’re with a Hijackal, a narcissistic, or other endlessly difficult person, you can find that you’ve stepped over into some strange land where empathy and compassion cause you to suffer. SO IMPORTANT to recognize when too much is too much and it’s hurting you.
You’ll also benefit from the tips in this episode to help you keep your empathy and compassion in balance. Game-changer!
It’s a slow slipping away into taking care of the Hijackal’s emotional demands and ignoring your own needs. You can lose yourself…even, abandon yourself. Listen in and avoid that. If you feel like you have already lost yourself, know that you can certainly come back from it, stronger. It takes work, and may be the best work of your life.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Why too much empathy turns toxic and how
• The toxicity of enabling
• The problem of over-identifying with a Hijackal®
• Losing yourself to meet the demands of a Hijackal
• Reclaiming yourself after overgiving

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#toxiccompassion #toxicempathy #givingtoomuch #abandoningmyself #losingmyself #narcissisttakestoomuch #overgiving#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A BIG complaint I hear so often is that the partner of a narcissistic person–a Hijackal®–is blowing up their phone…daily. It’s such a sign of things going sideways, and it slides into that territory too easily! How do you know when it’s too frequent? Too unreasonable? Too disrespectful? Then, what can you do about it? Listen in. This is basic to your well-being….and, more importantly, your safety!
In the beginning of a relationship, a person calls and you may be flattered: “They like me!” When you’re with a person with narcissistic tendencies, they blow up your phone to control you, to exert power over you. That’s a whole different kettle of fish, right? Listen in.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Why narcissists think they need to know what you’re doing
• When calling to check in with you changes to calling to check up on you
• How narcissistic people think you “belong TO them” not “WITH them”
• Why blowing up your phone is nasty digital surveillance
• Steps to take to stop–or reduce–the unnecessary calls

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#blowingupmyphone #digitalsurveillance #needforcontrol #controllingperson #drivingmecrazy #narcissistblowsupmyphone#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabu Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It is natural to want to be loved and love. We organically want to belong. Absolutely! It’s healthy, too. However, narcissistic people and all Hijackals excel at manipulating you and your feelings for their own purposes.
You give and give, and still it’s not enough. Then, they tell you that their poor treatment of you is not abuse, it’s because you’re inadequate. (Sad.) Not true. You are being used–and abused (yes, abused)–when all you’re long for is love, understanding, and inclusion. Narcissists exploit your desire for a healthy relationship. It’s sad, nasty, and very manipulative.
Listen in and find the words to describe what you’re feeling and why..
To EXPLOIT means “to make full use of or derive benefit from.” Aren’t Hijackals expecting things to work for their benefit all the time? There’s no equality in that.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Why it’s natural to want to belong and feel part of a community/relationship
• John O’Donohue’s words on belonging
• Understanding ways you may be being exploited by a Hijackal, a narcissist, or other difficult person
• Why you might argue that you’re not being exploited
• Why you cannot live up to a narcissist’s idealized version of you-
• Why narcissists are more interested in using you than loving you
• How Hijackals fail to see who you really are (aside from the fact that they don’t care to!)

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#beingexploitedbyanarcissist #naturaltowanttobelong #lookingforlove #beingexploitedinthenameoflove #johnodonohue#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabu Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever feel your head spin when you’re trying to express your feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs to a Hijackal? Of course, you have. That’s because they are masters of this phenomena know as WhatAboutIsm or WhatAboutery. It’s a powerful defense and deflection strategy narcissists use to confuse! Learn what it sounds like because you already know what it feels like. When you recognize it and name it for yourself, you can refuse to play along with it again.
The Hijackals defense mechanisms can be SO infuriating and frustrating. There SO many defense mechanisms It’s crazy-making, and whataboutism is one of the most crazy-making. Learn more about that in this episode…and, what to do in the face of it.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Why Hijackals® use whataboutism
• What “whataboutism” is and how it is defined
• How whataboutism a dysfunctional defense mechanism
• How whataboutism creates an instant double standard
• Why hypocrites practice whataboutism
• What to do in the moment that you recognize whayaboutism is happening

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#whataboutism #whataboutery #defensemechanism #narcissisticbehavior #narcissistaccountability #narcissistisconfusing#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People ask so often: Do narcissists and other HIjackals know that they are being mean, difficult, coercive, dismissive, and more? You want to know. In this episode, I’ll lay it out and explain it all, ONCE AND FOR ALL. Listen and take it in because knowing this answer can change your relationship forever.
When you recognize what the narcissist or any other Hijackal does on purpose, you’ll be affirmed that what you are thinking IS what is happening. Hijackals like to keep you as isolated as possible. They want to have power over you, and they do that by causing you to second-guess yourself and think you really are as flawed as they insist you are. Nasty!
Do they know they are mean? Do they choose to be mean? Do they recognize the pain they cause? Find out in this episode
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Do narcissists hurt partners on purpose?
• Do narcissists plan to hurt you?
• Why a narcissist chooses to hurt
• How a narcissist choose who to hurt
• Why knowing this can change everything

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#donarcissistshurtonpurpose #howanarcissisthurtsme #doesanarcissistknow #narcissistsaware #hurtmeonpurpose #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rigid thinking and what-about-ism are seriously linked. Know someone who is rigid in their thinking? They are RIGHT and that’s all there is to it? And, if you don’t agree with them, you’re wrong…and, that there is something wrong with you? Hijackals® do that! Even entertaining your thoughts or feelings for a hot second is not on their playlist. Learn how pervasive this is so that you can clearly see it happening and make good decisions about the relationship.
What-about-ism relates directly to rigid thinking. People who are narcissistic convince themselves that they hold the only true and right opinions, judgments, perspectives, and objectives. No one else is right. In this episode, I talk about why this is SO important to narcissistic Hijackals of all stripes. Do you recognize these in the relationship you have in mind just now?
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• What rigid thinking is
• How rigid thinking shows up in a relationship with a narcissist
• Rigid thinking vs all-or-nothing thinking
• Why Hijackals need to believe they are right
• 11 ways rigid thinking shows up
• How what-about-ism relates to rigid thinking

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#whataboutism #whataboutery #rigidthinkingofnarcissists #mustberight #alwaysright #rigidthinkers #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Maybe, you’re too nice. You fawn. You’ll do anything to keep the peace…or, at least, sidestep potential rage if you can. Peace at any price, you may say. Maybe, you find yourself fawning. (Hear more about that in the episode, too!) Emotional abusers appreciate fawning. It’s easier for them and they don’t care about you. ESSENTIAL to see these dynamics clearly if they are playing out in any relationship in your life. When you do, you can take steps to change the patterns.
There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but TOO NICE can set you up for emotional abuse. Listen to the 10 Whys. Emotional abusers–Hijackals–are emotionally lazy, so they prefer people-pleasers who are already trained and groomed to defer to them and their views, wants, and demands.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• What happens when you’re taught to be too nice
• Why Hijackals® expect–and prefer–you to fawn over them
• What fawning is in a relationship with a narcissistic person
• 10 WHYS Emotional abusers prefer people-pleasers
• Unconscious habits of respond to people who are emotionally abusive

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#emotionalabusers #fawing #Idontmatter #fawningresponse #beingtoonice #tooaccommodating #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse
Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissistic people starve you in so many ways. Every now and again a narcissist–a Hijackal–is kind, offers a compliment, or shows interest in your feelings. THOSE ARE CRUMBS. You may be so starved that those crumbs feel like a feast. You make a big deal of it, and think the world has reset in your favor. NO! The Hijackal wants something from you and knows how to get it. It’s important to see this clearly.
Emotional malnutrition is real. Malnutrition is the state of you end up in when you live with constant deficiencies, excesses, and imbalances in your intake. You don’t get enough of what is life-giving and healthy. You get too much of what is depriving, degrading, and discounting. AND, nothing is every in a healthy state of balance. NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• You find yourself starving for love, attention, acceptance, and validation
• Why you get used to breadcrumbs
• Why Hijackals will never engage in equality
• Have you made yourself into a pretzel to try to please a HIjackal®?
• Hijackals want you to be a doormat and then make you wrong for being one. Familiar?

I’m here to help. Let’s talk soon.Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community 
#emotionalmalnutrition #putdownbyanarcissist #settlingforless #takingabuse #speakinguptoabuse #notgoodenough #settlingforcrumbs#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse

Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.