ST Podcast Ep. 52: Superhero Therapy for First Responders and Health Care Professionals

A special tribute episode for the everyday superheroes who have been risking their lives daily to save the world – Health Care Providers and First Responders.

The post Superhero Therapy Podcast Ep. 52: Superhero Therapy for First Responders and Health Care Professionals first appeared on Superhero Therapy.

ST Podcast Ep. 51: Psychology of Wynonna Earp

On this episode, Dr. Scarlet and Dustin are joined by Wynonna Earp creator Beau Smith and illustrator Lora Innes. They discuss diversity within the Wynonna Earp fandom, the power of compassionate action, reconnecting with creativity, and banding together to face the global Covid-19 pandemic.

The post Superhero Therapy Podcast Ep. 51: Psychology of Wynonna Earp first appeared on Superhero Therapy.

ST Podcast Ep. 50: Chris Rankin and The Magic of Connection

On the 50th episode of the Superhero Therapy Podcast, Dr. Scarlet and Dustin are joined by the magically wonderful actor and wizard, Chris Rankin, known for his role as Percy Weasley in the Harry Potter series. This episode covers the pitfalls of isolation, how to be a real-life member of the Order of the Phoenix, and the magic of social connection.

TRANSCRIPTION BELOW:

Superhero Therapy Podcast Ep. 50: Chris Rankin and The Magic of Connection

 

The information in this podcast is of a general nature, and is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It should never be used as a substitute for mental care, medical care, or prevention, diagnosis or treatment of any other illness. Always consult with a mental health or health care professional before engaging in any activities promoted in this podcast.

Have you ever wanted to be a superhero? Join clinical psychologist Dr. Janina Scarlet and host Dustin McGinnis as they explore the psychology behind your favorite TV shows, movies, books, comics, video games and more. Thanks for listening and enjoy the show.

Dustin McGinnis: Hello and welcome to Superhero Therapy with Dr. Janina Scarlet. I’m your host Dustin McGinnis. I am a musician, filmmaker and all around fanboy.

Dr. Janina Scarlet: And I’m Dr. Janina Scarlet, clinical psychologist, author and a full-time geek.

Voiceover from Harry Potter:

 

Dumbledore: Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light.

McGinnis: Hello and welcome to Superhero Therapy with Dr. Janina. Scarlet. I’m your host, Dustin McGinnis. I’m a musician, filmmaker, and all around fanboy

Scarlet: And I’m Dr. Janina Scarlet. I’m a clinical psychologist, author and full time geek.

 

McGinnis: We are continuing our special podcast series aimed at supporting our listeners through the Coronavirus pandemic, and today we will be discussing ways we can cope with grief and loneliness during this hard time. We have a very special guest with us today, the wonderful actor, Chris Rankin. You might know him from Harry Potter as having played the role of Percy Weasley. Chris, welcome to the show.

Chris Rankin: Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much for having me on. It’s a great privilege.

McGinnis: Chris, can you tell our audience a little bit about yourself?

Rankin: Oh goodness, where do I start? Okay. So born and raised in New Zealand, I was adopted by my parents who emigrated out there after they got married years and years and years ago. I was adopted out there and we moved back to the U K when I was about six. Very shy child. I’m going full history here, by the way. [laughter]

Scarlet: That’s terrific!

 

Rankin: A very, very shy child. Then discovered performing arts, and performing arts helped me very much come out of my shell. And then, yeah, I guess most of my formative years were documented on 35 millimeter and broadcast across cinemas worldwide. So, yeah, the rest of that’s a little bit out there. And then, um, since Harry Potter, I’ve worked in television, film production, I direct, I produce, I run a community theater group charity and do all sorts of fun, interesting and slightly bonkers things with my life.

Scarlet: That’s amazing that you’re able to help so many people. Would you be willing to tell us a little bit about some of the organizations that you’re involved with?

Rankin: Oh, sure. So one of the things that comes with the territory of being in a film like Harry Potter is the incredible privilege to be invited, work with organizations and charities, especially. I’m a patron of a charity in the States called Transfiguring Adoption, a wonderful charity who helped create ways for parents to engage with children in their care, and start conversations about difficult situations through visual and audio media, etc. They’re wonderful people. I met them at a Harry Potter Comic-Con and obviously, being an adopted child myself, what they do really, really struck a chord with me. And it’s nice to be able to use my experience and Harry Potter and use both of those things to help towards foster and adopted kids.

I work with several animal charities cause I’ve got two doggies here, and absolutely love our dogs, and I’m a trustee and the current chairman of a theater company in mid Wales in the U.K. where I live, it’s a community theater group that’s charitable objective is to provide performing arts opportunities and performing arts shows to an area called Bracken and its surrounding communities, which is incredibly good fun and a huge privilege and I’m very much enjoying sort of leading the way with them at the moment, which is wonderful.

Scarlet: Fantastic.

McGinnis: That’s wonderful. So we don’t really hear too much about what’s going on over there in the U.K. How are you coping over there with this?

Rankin: I live in South Wales, which is about two-and-a-half hours West of London, I guess. Where me and my partner live is a relatively sort of residential area, we’re sort of on the edge of a smallish city. I mean the pandemic is affecting us as a nation quite severely at the moment. We are under lockdown for want of a better word. That’s what we’re calling it here. Lockdown, which essentially means that you’re not allowed out of the house unless it’s to get essential groceries, visit, and look after a vulnerable, relative or friend, or to go for your one allotted amount of exercise per day, which you must do from your house. You’re not allowed to get in the car and drive off to the countryside to do it or whatever.

It’s weird. I’m not going to lie. It’s a very peculiar thing. I mean, in my line of work, I’m self employed and I kind of work a lot from home anyway, so probably four or five days a week I’m at the house, but I’m still going to my little home study and sitting in front of my computer and making videos and talking to people like you guys on podcasts and sort of normal day to day stuff that I do generally. That hasn’t really changed. But the weird thing is when it’s a night and it’s a beautiful sunny day here today, when you think, Oh, wouldn’t it be nice to just go for a walk along the river? Nope. Not going to happen. We’d been in lockdown – I think we’re entering – we’re coming to the end of week two now, I believe, of what the U.K .government has suggested initially will be a three week lockdown.

I suspect, and I’m almost certain that it will be continued for a considerably longer time than three weeks. But yeah, I think we will start to see the effects of it over the next few days. Certainly the numbers of cases and tragically the numbers of deaths relating to Covid-19 have been escalating over the last few days. From what I’ve been told personally, I’m avoiding the news. I find that I’ve used the filters on my social media to kind of cut away all of the sort of pandemic talk because I find that it’s not too good for me to read things when I don’t want to see them.

McGinnis: Right.

Scarlet: Absolutely. And I’m glad that you and your loved ones are staying safe, and I think minimizing the amount of news related to Covid-19 is a very smart idea. As a clinical psychologist, I see a lot of individuals right now who are struggling with overwhelming anxiety and fears relating to the pandemic. And that’s the number one strategy that we work on is minimizing our news consumption.

Rankin: Yeah, I go to three or four specific places to get my news at the moment. Trust is a weird word when it comes to news media over here. Certainly, I’m sure it’s the same for you guys in the States as well. I like to take in a range of news generally sort of across the spectrum, left to right, just to kind of keep a gauge on things. But seeing it come up on your Twitter feed or your Facebook feed constantly from all sorts of sort of undocumented uncategorized sources is not healthy for me. And so I don’t think it’s healthy for anybody, quite frankly. So I go to four or five places that I know will give me, albeit a politicized view, one that is backed up with educated opinion and hopefully some facts along the way. And I do that sort of maybe every other day at the moment, I guess.

McGinnis: Yeah, I mean we kind of do the same thing here. We try to focus on sites like the CDC where you know you’re getting firsthand knowledge that is extremely relevant, [laughs] but there’s something interesting going on right now during this extremely challenging time. Many people are turning towards their favorite fandoms to support and give them a sense of connection. Why do you think the Harry Potter fandom is so important right now in helping people cope with this ongoing pandemic?

Rankin: Well, I think Harry Potter is a very unique fandom community. From my point of view, it’s the first fandom community, as a fan, before I got into the films, I was a fan of the books, but it was the first fandom community that I got involved with and also the first one that I was very aware of as an online presence sort of in the late ’90s early 2000s when we were all still posting on forums and talking to each other on MSN messenger and things like that. It’s a very close knit virtual family, and has been for a lot of 20-something-odd-years now. 20…

Scarlet: Three?

 

Rankin: Certainly 20, probably 23 years, let’s say 21, 22 years as an online group. Harry Potter is one that a lot of people identify with it as a fandom, because of the sort of themes of the stories is about feeling like an outcast, or feeling alone and feeling like you fit in, and then finding your chosen family. And I think that’s a huge comfort to a lot of people to sort of look at it from Harry’s point of view and say, there are people out there like me. I think that’s why it’s sort of such a great community to be involved with.

Scarlet: Absolutely. And as a clinical psychologist, I see so many folks who are struggling with that sense of belonging as, not just now, but have for a long period of time, where reading the Harry Potter series and watching the movies have allowed them to feel that they weren’t alone. And so, now more than ever, I see folks engaging in online fandom communities to support one another, to talk about how the different characters in the Harry Potter books coped with different kinds of struggles that they went through, and how they can utilize similar experiences. I think one of the appeals, well for me and for a lot of patients that I see, is how psychological the series are, right? Because the Harry Potter series teach us how to cope with loneliness. They teach us how to cope with being bullied. They teach us how to cope with depression and anxiety and trauma. Arguably…

Rankin: And loss.

Scarlet: Loss!

Rankin: Loss. Loss is a huge one in Harry Potter.

Scarlet: You’re absolutely right. Right? And actually the Weasley family themselves experienced the devastating loss when Fred passed away during the Battle of Hogwarts. And so I think, never has this fandom been more relevant and more important than it is right now.

Rankin: Absolutely. There’s some very well-covered and very important themes in the Harry Potter books. Absolutely. Absolutely. I agree with that.

McGinnis: You guys are talking about these wonderful themes and there’s also these wonderful lessons. What are some of the real life lessons that we can utilize from Harry Potter to become the real life version of the Order of the Phoenix?

Rankin: Oh goodness me.

McGinnis: [laughs] I put you on the spot, didn’t I?

Rankin: I think one of the things that always resonates with me – I’m just thinking about the trio in particularly Harry, Ron and Hermione, is that through the books, they very vocally have their differences, and there are times when each individually sort of becomes the outcast of the friendship group, I think it’s fair to say. There’s points where in Deathly Hallows, especially, for example, there’s the part where Ron, albeit under the influence of a Horcrux that he’s been wearing, abandons his friends, but they don’t abandon him.

Sure, they have arguments, and they’re angry with each other, but he’s still their friend, and they still worry about him, and they still care about him. They always come back together, and they have the ability to be honest with each other about what they’re feeling, and why they’re feeling it, I think, is an important part of that. I think one of the wonderful things about The Order of the Phoenix, especially towards the end, is the spread of age that it covers as well. So you’ve got the original Order of the Phoenix, the surviving members, you’ve got the Dumbledores and the the Kingsley Shacklebolts, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus Lupin, Sirius as well. And then as the newer members come in as well, there’s a sort of, again, a sort of family created out of that. There’s a lot to be learned from it. Yeah.

Scarlet: I love that you said that. I love that you mentioned that there’s this age gap, and that everyone is essentially an equal member of the Order of the Phoenix.

Rankin: Absolutely.

Scarlet: And I think that an important lesson that I also wanted to take away in addition to all the wonderful things you said is the fact that The Order of the Phoenix also holds regular meetings. And one of the things that perhaps we can do, and some of the things I’ve seen many folks doing, and I’ve advised my clients to do, is to very much become the real life version of Order the Phoenix and holding regular meetings on virtual media, like through Zoom for example, or FaceTime or Skype, to help each other to process what they’re going through, and to figure out how they can support one another, how to face this kind of monster. And I think that essentially that is what many of us are becoming. You know, some people are using different words and for the Harry Potter fandom, it’s the Order of the Phoenix and for other fandoms it might be different terms. But I think that is what’s happening because the truth is, as awful as this pandemic has been, I think I’ve never, since I’ve been alive, seen as much compassion and cooperation as I have in the last few weeks.

Rankin: I think that’s definitely fair to say. I don’t know what it’s like over there at the moment. From what I understand in the States – in some places you’re, you’re ahead of us in terms of the social isolation, social distancing, you’re calling it sheltering…

Scarlet: Shelter in place.

Rankin: Yeah, shelter in place. That’s what you’re calling it. Yeah. We were calling it social distancing, #stayathome in the U.K. I don’t know. I feel like sheltering in place is a much more positive way to talk about it. The way we’re talking about it over here, talking about if you feel like, for instance, our government is saying, if you think you might have symptoms relating to Coronavirus or Covid-19 or certainly anything that’s similar to it, that you must socially isolate, which is quite a negative term. Isolate, isolation is not a good thing.

McGinnis: We’re starting to hear a change into “physical distancing.”

Scarlet: Right, so recently, I think about a week ago, the World Health Organization has talked about changing the term “social distancing” to “physical distancing.” Exactly because of that. Because then some folks are confused and they think they also need to not speak to other people, even over social media. So in order to promote social connection, even while physically distancing, we’re now starting to use the term, at least in the United States, physical distancing, and when folks are exhibiting symptoms, we’re talking about like, quarantine, because you’re right, I’m so glad you brought that up because terms like isolation, they’re associated with loneliness and depression and can be misinterpreted by some folks too.

McGinnis: And we’re all promoting all this connection, you know, kind of like how you were saying about Ron and Hermione and banding around them after they left. You need to keep that connection going.

Rankin: Absolutely do. Absolutely. Now I don’t think I’ve been off my phone in three weeks in some way, shape or form, which, you know, under the normal scheme of things isn’t far from the truth anyway. You know, we always tweeting or popping something on Instagram or Facebook or Facebook Messenger group with your friends or whatever. But the number of conversations I’ve had has shot up, it’s fair to say, you know, sure, I’m not seeing my friends. I’m not able to go and visit them. But in some ways we’re communicating more than we ever have, which is strange and wonderful at the same time.

McGinnis: Yeah. It’s almost like we’re a little more social than we used to be.

Scarlet: Absolutely. You know, I think that, under normal circumstances, people often report being too busy to check in with their friends and then unfortunately they have all these regrets that they haven’t spent enough time with their friends and other loved ones, and now we’re seeing people going through almost like an element of post-traumatic growth where they’re reprioritizing their core values. They’re recognizing what’s really important to them, and making more time for the people that really matter.

Rankin: Yeah, that’s for sure. Yeah.

McGinnis: One of the biggest contributions that the Harry Potter series teaches us is how to defeat monsters, including the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort who are trying to take over the world. What are some of the ways that people can stand up against this monster and support one another in this war?

Rankin: Oh, there’s a question. God, this is good, guys! [laughter] This is just getting the gray matter working on a Sunday for me. The obvious answer to that question is that there is a physical element to it. They physically defeat Voldemort. There is a battle, they have a physical fight, but I think behind it all is the group effort, and I think that’s the important takeaway at the moment, is that when you look at, for instance, the uprising led mostly by Hogwarts and the Order of the Phoenix against the new regime at the Ministry. It’s sort of an anti-propaganda campaign. I know the Ministry is certainly running a propaganda campaign under Umbridge, but what Hogwarts and the Order, especially the Order, kind of run, is a sort of mass anti-propaganda campaign and I think Covid-19 is a pandemic. There was no getting away from that. So it’s not propaganda coming from our leaders and governments and politicians currently. However, I think the uprising against this pandemic is our ability to metaphorically assemble and work as a team, apart, but together to fight this off by staying indoors.

McGinnis: There’s so many things we could do. It’s a global pandemic that’s affecting everybody and we all have our parts in it. And we can all benefit.

Scarlet: Absolutely. I love what you said because, you know, I mentioned this in one of our previous podcasts, there are seven billion people in the world, and each and every one of us now has a role to play, and much like the Battle of Hogwarts, every single one of us needs to show up in the way that would be most helpful for facing this pandemic. And so for some people it might mean going to work if they’re working in a hospital or a grocery store for example, or a pharmac. For people who are not working these essential kind of jobs, the most helpful thing that we can do is stay at home and practice physical distancing, but not just stay at home, but stay at home and fight by staying at home and supporting other people.

Rankin: Absolutely. I think that’s one of the wonderful things that’s come straight away, straight away. And I know part of it is as a self employed creative, and there’s a lot of artists, performers, actors, musicians – about three or four weeks ago, probably three weeks ago, basically sat and watched over the course of 24 hours, my entire spring and summer schedule get canceled. All of it, you know, like literally within 24 hours of the government going, we’re going to stop events certainly for the next month. The knock on effect was that everything, all the Comic-Cons, all the various things I had, performances with the community group that we had organized, rehearsals that we were organizing for that short film I was planning on directing, which I’m still writing so fortunately it’s given me time to actually finish the script, but all of these things have just vanished. And the first thing that the artistic community and the creatives and quote unquote celebrities as a mass did was say, right you guys, you stay at home, don’t go out, you stay there, we’ll entertain you.

This is what we can do, don’t you move. And the amount of stuff that’s suddenly sprung out, even from theater companies, from Broadway shows now being streamed live, being available to watch on YouTube, on Vimeo and Facebook, etc. to webcasts that I’ve been doing, Twitch streams, Facebook Live things, all this accessible stuff that is there to promote happiness, positivity, creativity, and yet to keep you very much inside your house is remarkable. And I think there’s an awful lot to be said for the people who are helping the effort, not necessarily from a scientific or medical point of view, but from an entertainment point of view. I guess. It’s all part of the effort, isn’t it?

Scarlet: Absolutely. And thank you for being a part of that and thank you for joining us today as well for that same reason, to provide hope and education to our listeners. Thank you for that.

Rankin: Yeah. Gotcha. I mean, it’s a double bonus is what it is because I get to help as much as I can and I get to keep being creative, which is something personally I need to do. Otherwise I will go insane. Just sat here not being able to sing, or perform, or do anything like that would be detrimental for me as much as it would be for anybody else not to be able to participate in performing arts in some way, shape, or form.

Scarlet: Right.

McGinnis: You were just talking about creativity and entertainment and inspiring joy through this medium. And of course, with everything going on right now, many people are experiencing hopelessness and grief and overwhelm. Yet as Dumbledore himself reminds us in The Prisoner of Azkaban, happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. How can we balance our grief with joy and love? If you want, we can have Dr. Scarlet start this one.

Rankin: Yes, please, Dr. Scarlet! [laughter]

Scarlet: I love that you brought up this Dumbledore quote because one of my absolute favorite Dumbledore quotes of all time, is where he tells Harry, the fact that you can feel pain like this is perhaps your greatest strength. And I think the fact that we can feel so much distress, actually shows how incredibly loving and compassionate we are. We feel pain because we care. We should. And, at the same time, where there’s pain, there’s love, and where there’s love, there’s pain. And I think that the trick, really, is being open to all emotions. The thing about emotions is that they’re an all or none kind of deal. And if we suppress grief, then we don’t have the ability to feel joy. And so the idea is to allow ourselves to make time for grief, to maybe even sit with it and also to notice that the reason why we feel grief is because we love, we love people, we love humanity. We love being able to spend time with people that maybe we can’t see in person right now, and to make room for all emotions that show up. I think the idea is also to remember that we’re all contributing to the betterment of this world right now by all the sacrifices that all of us are making. This is us being essentially magical folks in real life. This is our very own Battle of Hogwarts and for anyone who’s ever wanted to be accepted to Hogwarts. This is it. This is your letter. This is your chance. You know, this is us fighting this battle together and it’s not going to be easy. And at the same time the very fact that you’re in this battle, that already makes you magical.

Rankin: Absolutely. I think you are the expert. I am merely a person experiencing this like anybody else at the moment. But I think as you sort of said, and it’s something that I have come across before, not under these circumstances. When I was 19 my father died, and I didn’t deal with that particularly well at the time. I didn’t let myself grieve properly and did to some extent pay the price for that further down the line. But it’s all good now. All dealt with, and we’re in a good place with that. And one thing I’ve noticed talking to people on Twitter, cause I check in with people on Twitter, I just pop out a message every couple of days going, how is everybody? It’s a catch all situation. There are people out there that don’t have anybody to talk to and sometimes you get messages saying I’m feeling very lonely and very anxious and very scared, and I kind of – some people I’ve been replying to saying that it’s okay to be scared.

This is scary. But if you can understand what it is that you’re scared of and why, then you’ll be okay with this. Just accept that these feelings are the right feelings to be having, and find a way through. I mean personally I downloaded an app on my phone a couple of weeks ago, sort of breathing and meditation app, which is not something I’ve ever done before, but helped tremendously. Just, you know, taking 10 minutes at the beginning or the end of the day to sit and listen to some pan pipes and tinkly music and have a very soothing voice telling me to breathe in and out was wonderful. So it’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel anxious about this. It’s something that you should feel anxious about, but equally, it’s also okay to say that you’re feeling anxious about it because so is everybody else and we’re all working together to look after each other through this, I think is my take on it.

What you were saying a moment ago about this is how our Hogwarts reminded me of a Wizard Rock song, which I believe is a Harry and the Potters song called “The Weapon We Have is Love.” I don’t know, it just, it came to me then and I kind of went, oh God. A sort of well of emotion came up through me as I was going, [sings] “The weapon we have is love.” It’s absolutely true right now. I think, you know the weapon we have here is to look after each other and to love each other and to do this together.

McGinnis: Yes, absolutely. And to love ourselves. We had an amazing guest on recently too, that talked about just, sometimes having the ability to just get up and dance, putting on a good tune and just moving your shoulders and stuff like that. And I actually have a memory of you and another friend doing DDR, like Dance, Dance Revolution…

Rankin: Yeah!

McGinnis: …and I just got that in my head for some reason [laughter], just bouncing around. I don’t know, just try to keep that joy going.

Scarlet: Yes, I love that moment. I love that moment, just seeing you two. That’s great.

McGinnis: This is very positive and this is wonderful. Is there anything else you’d like to say to people who are struggling at this moment?

Rankin: Don’t struggle alone, I think, is the most probably obvious. I think it’s obvious to everybody, but it’s not always the easiest thing to solve, or to bring yourself to knit. Just don’t suffer alone. You know, there are hundreds and hundreds of millions of us, especially in the fandom communities, not just Harry Potter, but across the board. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers, I find, because that helps. There are communities, there are Twitter, there is social media, there are places, I have to say, I find Instagram to be the most positive space at the moment, purely because it’s so kind of visual rather than text-based. There’s a lot more happiness and a lot less immediate news, etc., on Instagram. I’m personally finding, but there are people out there who are into the same things as you who will happily just get straight onto a chat with you, be it, over Twitter, over Facebook group, over anything at all to talk about things that you like as a distraction or as a coping method. And I think that’s one of the wonderful things about fandom communities is that we are all immediately on the same level as each other because of this thing that we love.

Scarlet: Exactly. Well said. And I would also like to add that if you’re feeling a certain way, chances are most people you know are probably feeling similar emotions.

Rankin: Absolutely.

Scarlet: If you’re feeling lonely, if you’re feeling depressed, if you’re feeling hopeless, chances are there are people all around you that are having the same experiences. And so writing about what you’re going through or making a video or a podcast about what you’re going through can help, not only yourself to better understand what you’re experiencing, but can also help other people to know that they’re not alone. So actually by talking about what you’re going through can actually help other people. So share your story, and maybe taking what you are going through and turning it into a creative expression of some kind can actually be a very important contribution to the world. And of course, for anyone out there who is having a really hard time, who’s struggling with suicidal thoughts, there are different kinds of texts hotlines in the United States. The crisis text hotline is 741-741. I believe in the U.K .there’s the Samaritans hotline, I apologize, I don’t remember the number, but a quick Google search will provide that for you. But the idea is there are resources in every country that will offer a free and confidential crisis support network if you need somebody to talk to. And there’s also a website I would like to, it’s called the mighty M, I, G, H, T, Y. It’s themighty.com where you can find a lot of resources for understanding mental health and how to cope with the pandemic.

Rankin: Just a quick kid. The Samaritan’s number in the U.K. is 116123.

Scarlet: Perfect. Thank you, Chris.

McGinnis: All I want to say is stay connected. That’s one of the biggest underlying themes that we’ve been noticing in this series of podcasts that we’ve been doing. Reach out. You can reach out to crisis tech lines or you can reach out to friends and communities like Chris was mentioning. Just try to stay connected because we are all in this together.

Scarlet: I like to imagine all 7 billion of us kind of virtually holding hands from a distance, forming a circle around this virus so that we can face it together, so that we can defeat it together.

McGinnis: Most definitely. Chris, thank you so much. We know that you have a lot on your plate today, so we just wanted to say thank you and can you please provide us your social media or ways to get in touch with you?

Rankin: Yes, of course. And thank you so much for having me guys. It’s honestly, it’s been an absolute privilege to talk with you guys about such an important subject right now. In terms of getting in touch with me, I am on Twitter @ChrisRankin. I’m on Instagram at @CWRankin cause I’m not one of these people that manages to have the same handles on everything. And my website, which has access to all of my social media is ChrisRankin.co.uk. If in doubt, find Chris Rankin with a verified blue tick next to it and you’ll be able to find me there. I’m always around for a Twitter conversation. Always here.

McGinnis: Well thank you once again. We’re going to go ahead and in this episode of Superhero Therapy. Again, my name is Dustin McGinnis. You can find me on Twitter @thevaliantgeek.

 

Scarlet: And I’m Dr. Janina Scarlet. You can find me on Twitter @shadowquill or @drjaninascarletofficial on Instagram.

 

McGinnis: Thank you all so much for tuning in, and remember, you are a superhero.

The post Superhero Therapy Podcast Ep. 50: Chris Rankin and The Magic of Connection first appeared on Superhero Therapy.

ST Podcast Ep 49: Practicing Mindfulness in the Midst of Chaos

On this episode Dr. Scarlet and Dustin discuss mindfulness during Covid-19 and provide basic mindfulness practice skills.

The post Superhero Therapy Podcast Ep. 49: Practicing Mindfulness in the Midst of Chaos first appeared on Superhero Therapy.

ST Podcast Ep. 48: Embracing our Grief with Rachel Miner

On this powerful episode, Dr. Scarlet and Dustin are joined again by the ever-inspiring Rachel Miner. They discuss the joy found within grief, the power of emotions, and embracing our feelings in uncertain times.

TRANSCRIPTION BELOW:

Superhero Therapy Podcast Ep. 48: Embracing our Grief with Rachel Miner

The information in this podcast is of a general nature, and is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It should never be used as a substitute for mental care, medical care, or prevention, diagnosis or treatment of any other illness. Always consult with a mental health or health care professional before engaging in any activities promoted in this podcast.

 

Have you ever wanted to be a superhero? Join clinical psychologist Dr. Janina Scarlet and host Dustin McGinnis as they explore the psychology behind your favorite TV shows, movies, books, comics, video games and more. Thanks for listening and enjoy the show.

Dustin McGinnis: Hello and welcome to Superhero Therapy with Dr. Janina Scarlet. I’m your host Dustin McGinnis. I am a musician, filmmaker and all around fanboy.

Dr. Janina Scarlet: And I’m Dr. Janina Scarlet, clinical psychologist, author and a full-time geek.

McGinnis: So today we are continuing our special podcast series aimed at supporting our listeners through the Coronavirus pandemic. And today we will be discussing ways we can cope with grief during this hard time. We also wanted to welcome back to the Superhero Therapy podcast, our dear friend Rachel Miner. Thank you so much for your continuous light, during this dark time, Rachel. You are truly a rainbow beacon of hope and resilience and we’re just so honored to have you back on our show with us.

Miner: My goodness, I’m so grateful to be here. And so grateful for all that you both are doing, and all the ways you’re trying to help, and you certainly are there for me and have supported me in there, helping me, and you make me feel more rainbow light brightness in my life. [laughter] So thank you for that.

Scarlet: Aw, Rachel, we just absolutely adore you, and honestly, everything you’re doing for the world, for the community, always reminding people about finding light and finding hope and supporting one another, and your participation in Random Acts. It’s just absolutely inspiring and just puts me in the sense of awe. And so I just want to tell you how much I love and admire you and look up to you. So thank you for everything that you do.

Miner: Thank you. And I don’t want our listeners to be put off by just us admiring each other the whole time. [laughter] But I can say all the same things about you. And I think it speaks to, also, it’s so important right now that we all be that for each other. Like there’s no part of me that wants to give the illusion that any of this is easy, that I feel bright and happy all the time, and just wanting to do good. It’s a really hard time. The weight I think is landing on all of us, and so I think that we keep needing each other. It’s like, you know, trying to keep the balloon in the air. We’re going to keep needing each other to lift us at different points, and hopefully we can keep rotating around. So one of us be, you know, feeling like we’re sinking at that moment, but maybe in another can be there to lift them up and can trade places.

McGinnis: Yes, most definitely.

Scarlet: Yes, well said.

Miner: I mean, Janina, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been thinking a lot about – there’s so many points in history that we can refer to, that kind of helped me, is to go as a human race, we’ve been through much more trying times or times like this before. It’s certainly – in times of war and so forth, where we’re sharing this kind of communal grief. But also I’ve been thinking about The Deathly Hallows. Harry Potter.

Scarlet: Oh yeah!

 

Miner: You know that point where they’re listening to the radio station, they’re hearing reports of who’s died that day. And I feel like that’s sometimes, like, when I go on social media and there’s – important as it is that we celebrate those we’ve lost. It’s so trying. You see the number of people in grief, and the number of people we’re all grieving for and that we’re losing on a daily basis, is incredible.

And I know that one of the reasons why I’m here speaking about this too is I lost my father during this time and the grief and the combination of grief and fear and so forth. Just having my mother there in the hospital with him and her being exposed, and doctors literally having to rotate off because they were getting the virus, and it was just a very grief ridden and anxiety ridden time. And I think it’s really important that we cling to, also, those ways that we can lift our spirits and lift each other up. But I think one of the things that helps me is that fact that we as human beings have been through this so many times, and we are resilient. I’ve admired people who have managed to be resilient and positive through the times in history, and through the stories that we’ve heard like here in Harry Potter and wanting to be that and holding that up as a positive beacon for myself.

Scarlet: Absolutely. Rachel, thank you so much for sharing your experience and for offering this very safe space for everyone to process what they’re going through. You know, for so many of us, whether we’ve lost a loved one, whether we see people losing loved ones, you’re right. We’re sharing this common universal grief right now, the same kind of grief that we have read about and have seen on television. You know, sometimes watching like, let’s say, Harry Potter movies or Star Wars or you know, a Disney movie where we see some kind of like a worldwide disaster as, like, the climax of the conflict of that movie. And at least for me, I could never fathom something like this happening, and it’s here and it’s happening. But what’s really amazing to me is seeing the way that all of us together – I’m kind of tearing up even talking about this.

All of us together are holding hands with one another at a distance. You know, that I’m envisioning this energy where all 7 billion of us are holding hands, you know, and sending love and energy from one hand to another, from one human to another. Whether we’re sitting six feet apart from each other or on opposite ends of the country ou, opposite ends of the world. This is so human right now that we can sit with this devastating grief of again, either losing a loved one or seeing the trauma and the tragedy that’s happening while also feeling so much love for the universe and so much love for our fellow human beings.

Miner: I completely agree. Like one of the most magical moments of my day has been – my mom is home now and we’re grieving together. I’m very grateful to have her near me, but we also are quarantined from each other. It’s such a strange time for that, for so many of us. So we’re having to stay separate, even though I’m happy to know she’s safe and nearby. We FaceTime, and one of the things we do is at seven o’clock every night in New York City right now, everyone – all outside, open their windows and bang pots and pans and yell and whistle for the nurses and doctors or health care workers that are doing such an amazing job right now.

McGinnis: It’s so beautiful.

Miner: And so I get to be there with her doing it. It’s finding those moments of connection and it does, it lifts my spirits so much to see humanity coming together in that way. And I think we are all capable of that. And just to say, I do think everyone is going through grief, even if you have not lost a loved one, it does not slip my mind that like, just our lives changing in the way they have, and us losing the life that we’ve known. And that probably never coming back exactly in the same form. That is a form of grief. And you know, it’s something I’ve noticed being with my mom through this time. And you know, we do talk on Facebook, and watching her go through the grief because she and my father have been married for certainly my entire lifetime and beyond. So she has not known a life without him for decade upon decade. And I know this was going to be very, very difficult. But also it kind of is correct in a weird way that she doesn’t have the option to go back to some semblance of normal. It doesn’t have to pretend because we are all in the same position of having to create a whole new life with new rules. Does that make sense?

Scarlet: Absolutely. You know, I remember a few years ago when a dear friend of mine passed away, I remember feeling so eerie and so bizarre where I would go outside and I would see people laughing and celebrating, people who had no idea who I was. And you know, people absolutely unrelated to me, but it felt like such a disconnect because the lives of many people I knew were absolutely shattered, but the rest of the world kept going. And so that experience actually was so bizarre. And I’ve gone through that every time I’ve experienced grief in the past. But now there’s worldwide mourning and worldwide grief going on. And you’re right, it’s true. Whether or not people have lost someone right now, and in some ways there’s this common humanity experience where we’re grieving together. We’re all in this together. We’re supporting one another and as painful as it is, it’s also, you’re right. It’s the right way to feel. And I think that there can be some healing in allowing for that grief right now.

McGinnis: You both mentioned this universal grieving that’s going on, and many people might struggle with understanding why the pandemic can make them experience these feelings of grief. Can you both talk about that?

Miner: Absolutely. I mean, I think essentially, to me and, and Janina you’ll be able to speak more from an actual psychological point of view and you know the details of this better, but I can speak as just a human, that part of grief is the change of our lifestyles. Like I know for me, the selfish for losing my father is just not being able to speak to him, is not being able to spend the time with him. It’s not just sadness for him, because I know for him, he made peace in a lot of ways and we’d had those conversations, and that helped it be very healthy for me in that he made me feel very whole and complete. I didn’t feel like I had communications I hadn’t given him, but I still will miss – all the time, I think of things. I wish I could tell him and I missed that I can’t do that and I think that that is shared by all of us. We all now have lives that look very different. We can’t do the same things we were doing just a few weeks ago, and that to me is part of where grief lies, but then it’s how do you make it productive and positive, and to me that always is channeling it toward helping others, toward being there for others, toward creating a new and vibrant life. Like, for my father specifically, he was a teacher and that was so important to him, and really the most important thing, and I want to pass along those lessons and things he want to just share, and that makes me feel very light about it and good about it. And the same with, I want to take anything that I’m feeling and find ways to make it positive, which I know Janina you can talk about. It’s why we’re here doing this podcast. If this can be helpful to someone else, then it doesn’t feel terrible to me.

Scarlet: Thank you so much for that, and I absolutely agree that grief can show up when a change happens. A lot of times people think that grief is only appropriate when someone has died. The truth is all emotions are appropriate at all times, and all emotions are allowed at all times. Emotions are information, and when we experienced some kind of a loss, not only a death, but also a drastic change, for example, a loss of a job, loss of a relationship, loss of stability, loss of health, loss of the ability to see our family members, you know, and be in the same room with them, as many of us are going through right now. We do experience grief and grief can be complicated because it’s not just the experience of sadness. Grief involves severe emotional pain, and also anxiety and anger, and at times, hopelessness. And I think that for many of us, what we’re also experiencing is something called empathic distress.

What that means is, by seeing the suffering reflected in other people, even people we don’t know, we as empathic human beings might also experience a mirror of that emotion. In fact, we are wired – we are neurologically wired for empathy. We have what are called mirror neurons in our brain, which allow us to experience what someone else is experiencing as if it’s happening to us. For example, if we see somebody eating a lemon, we can taste a little bit of that sourness and tartness in our mouth. Sometimes even hearing someone talking about a lemon, some of you might notice your mouth watering a little bit. That’s what mirror neurons do. And it works on an even more profound level when we see suffering, when we see somebody in pain, our mirror neurons, activate the compassion and empathy centers of our brain to allow us to basically put ourselves into another person’s shoes, to understand what they’re going through.

And this is a very adaptive technique. Actually Darwin, who was mostly known for writing about survival of species, also talked about altruism. And I think he actually meant compassion by the current definition of compassion, where our ability to look out for one another, and support each other is the best way that we can survive. So if we’re experiencing empathic distress right now, it’s because we care. It’s because we love the humankind, even if we don’t know the people who have, you know, maybe shared their trauma, their losses, their experiences. But the fact that we feel this way means that we want to help. What can make this experience more painful ,is when we think that we are unable to help. And that’s where what you said in terms of pouring our energy into helping other people is so important. Many people feel that they’re unable to help if they’re not medically trained professionals.

But there’s so many things that we can always do. For example, people who are creative, just putting art out there, whether it’s a painting, a poem, a song, can be so moving for people during this time, to remind them of joy, and just checking on our friends are putting a supportive message out on social media. Maybe for people we know, or maybe for the community, or maybe for the world, can be really, really empowering. And all of us doing this together as a community, as citizens of this planet can be the very thing that we need to manage this grief together as a worldwide family.

Miner: I love, so love everything that you’re saying. And it’s funny because I will say to people when they say, “Oh, you’re doing so much to help others,” or whatever. I say, well, it’s very selfish, because I can’t stand to be around unhappy people. So I don’t want to be in a world with an unhappy people. So therefore it is absolutely a selfish thing that I want to help make the burden lighter for others. And I think that that, you know, speaks to what you were saying and in a silly way. To me all of my lightness and my happiness and joy in life comes from when I feel like I can alleviate that pain for someone else.

And in terms of what you were saying, one of the things that we’ve been working really hard at at Random Acts is how to put as many programs there, where people can help and where it doesn’t have to cost money. If they want to donate they can, but if they can afford to, there’s so many other ways that we can help. Like when our program that we put together specifically for helping the groups alleviating suffering from Covid-19 in so many ways, in all the areas of life that’s affected, is that we’re letting people nominate local groups that they’re seeing, that are doing good works, and seeing how we can get them funding. And that’s a way that you can participate in do something really actively good, that doesn’t have to cost you money. Because I think, you know, we’re all going through whatever we’re going through financially as well. And I think it’s super important if we’re going to survive this, that we know that there are so many other ways that you can help people, and spreading kindness is huge, and going to, I think, be the crucial factor right now because people will fall just from the grief and from the weight of that, and the shared terror of what comes next age etc.

And I think that we need to know that we live in a world that’s better than that. And on a positive note, I have seen that more in recent days than I ever have in my life. I’m someone who has always been bothered, and found it very strange that I could be at an opera house and everyone’s dressed the nines and whatever, and someone else might be starving in a war zone at the very same time. It’s bizarre. The shift in experience is always been very bizarre, that we can share this world and be so connected, but ignore our fellow humans suffering is very strange to me. So in a lot of ways this time feels like we’re actually evolving to something more positive, in that we’re very, very aware of the suffering we’re going through as a group, and everyone is going through, and I hope that we keep finding ways to leap, eat that for each other.

Scarlet: Absolutely. I agree with you. I’ve been seeing that similar unifying kind of an experience throughout the world. I have friends from all over the world, different countries from France to Italy to India, that I’m in regular communications with, and it’s amazing how we hardly ever had time for each other before, and now we’re all checking in on one another and just supporting one another and, again, like virtually holding hands with each other, and it’s so beautiful. I lived in New York during 911, and I had never seen New Yorkers be more kind to each other than they were during that time. I mean, I’m a very biased opinion. New Yorkers are always kind. I think they’re just busy. I’ve never seen more acts of kindness and compassion than I did for months right after 911.

Miner: I love that you say that, though. As a New Yorker as well, I completely agree, but also I saw the same thing and I was trying to describe that to my friends who I felt were maybe experiencing more pain and helplessness from 911, whereas being in New York, what I saw is, like, not only like the kindness but people re-prioritizing. There were so many people who took off work and were just out in the park with their families and things like that of just looking at what is important and what is not, and I feel like a lot of us are doing the same thing right now – is you know what really matters to us at the end of the day, and that’s a beautiful thing.

McGinnis: Most definitely. You guys were talking about empathic distress and this mirroring. There’s also this, like, internal grief that we find some times, especially in hard times that deals with memory and re-experiencing previous grief. Some people who experienced this, unfortunately, shame themselves for feeling this way, having this old grief resurface. Why do you think this happens, and how can we reduce shame around feeling past grief?

Miner: That’s a really good point. Again, Janina I think you’re going to speak to it more precisely, but I definitely think one of the biggest things that we have to do during this period of time is also be compassionate with ourselves. It’s something that I’m really paying attention to for myself, but also really trying to put out there, is that we all need to be forgiving that – like I think some people thought, oh, maybe you know, I enter this period of time and I should have all these goals and be achieving so much, and we’re stunned at the fact that as difficult as it is because we are weighed down by our grief and by the fact that the grief has triggered old griefs, and we have to, I think, except that we’re pushing through that and be compassionate and loving toward ourselves for that. I also allow myself to regularly sob. It’s one of the good things about being in isolation is I’m not putting that on anyone else. Just that I think it’s important sometimes to release that. And again, it’s knowing that I’m not falling into some darkness, it’s just that I need to let that grief come out and flow out so that I can keep functioning in other ways.

 

Scarlet: Exactly. So well said in terms of making room, making space for these emotions. I actually noticed that if I don’t cry like at least once a month, I’m having a lot of pressure. Like I’m holding onto a lot of tension, and you know, everyone’s different and some people need to cry more frequently in some people less frequently. But we are designed to release our emotions and express our emotions, and crying is one of the most cathartic ways of processing our grief. I think that many of our experiences, are cataloged in our brain, in our memory centers by categories and it’s almost like a magnet, when we are seeing something in the news or when we maybe learn about some kind of a death. We remember our own experiences of having lost someone. So again, our memories are almost like a magnet where one memory will pull all others that are similar to it.

This is adaptive because it teaches us how have we experienced this situation before. It might remind us what we need to do to get past it or maybe warn us about what things were not helpful in the past, and kind of prepare us for what to expect. So if you are experiencing grief right now, and you’re remembering a loss that you went through years ago, that is completely normal, that is completely understandable. This is something that most people worldwide are going through right now. And so if you’re going through this, please know that it’s okay to experience this. Please make some space for these emotions. Allow yourself to cry, and also reach out to loved ones if possible, in terms of spending some time together. One of the best kind of heart balms, if you will, is social connection. And so if it’s not possible to be in the same room with someone, we can very much, as Rachel talked about, FaceTime our loved ones or do Zoom calls with our loved ones.

And what I found is that having a connection through multiple sensory means is better than having a connection only through one sensory modality. So what that means is that a video call for folks that are able to see and hear is much better, and a stronger point of connection, than only talking on the phone, or only texting, for example. So if possible, trying to do maybe a video call with a loved one. Again, if you have the ability to do that, if you’re able to see and hear, if you’re able to have some kind of regular meetings with loved ones, whether it’s to process what’s going on or to talk about something entirely different, that can be extremely healing right now.

Miner: I love that so much. Another thing that I have thought about is that a lot of us bottle up our emotions and grief and so forth, and we use certain things to numb it and distract us. And a lot of those things have been taken away. So just the daily life things- I see people do this going out to parties, and distracting themselves socially, and going to the movies, and all these things can be ways to avoid having to deal with her own grief, and so forth, that we might be bottling up. And so I think it’s a very difficult time for a lot of people because all of those crutches and things that were coping mechanisms were taken away, and you’re now stuck having to confront grief and so forth, that might have been unconfronted for years. Does that ring true to either of you?

Scarlet: Absolutely. Absolutely. And this is where I think creating a balance between both creating space for our grief, and also, in to replicate the kind of activities that we did before as much as possible, through virtual tools can be really helpful. So for example, if normally you’d go out to eat with your friends, then having dinner with your friends over Zoom or Google Hangouts or FaceTime can be really helpful. If you like to dance, then maybe doing a dancing party over video, maybe watching a movie together over Netflix Party or over FaceTime where you can catch up instead of going to the movie theater can be helpful. In terms of making space for our grief, what I normally talk to my clients about is making an appointment for our grief. So what that means is on a daily basis, seeing a few can sit down for maybe 10, 15 minutes and allow any emotions to come up.

Maybe sitting in a place where you can be by yourself, where you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s reactions where you can feel safe and supported. And for some folks that might be the bathroom, and that is perfectly fine. Just allowing yourself to feel any emotions that come up. If you need to cry, allowing yourself to cry, maybe taking some time to journal or to process what you’re going through as an intentional practice. And that means at any other time throughout the day if grief comes up. It is okay to make that space for it too. You don’t ever have to shove it aside just because that’s not your kind of appointment time for your grief. But I do think having a set time to process any emotions that you have coming up can be very helpful for our mental health, and can allow us to find more grounding as opposed to just trying to bottle those things or push them away.

McGinnis: I have to add on a personal note that crying is such a vulnerable thing and I find it so beautiful. I often tell Janina if she has those moments where she says she feels like she cried, I was like, go for it, baby. Just cry. You have a beautiful cry face.

Scarlet: Aww.

McGinnis: It’s good to let those things out and be that vulnerable. And one thing that also came up while you guys were talking was, we are these complicated beings. We’re able to experience grief and joy and so many other emotions. How can we find joy even in the moments of our grief?

Miner: I’ll be honest, when my father was in the hospital and I was worried about my mother and I didn’t know what decisions I should make and how I should be handling all of this, that felt not healthy, cause I, I just was bottled up in this kind of, in between, I don’t know what I should be, you know, doing for my family and I couldn’t be with them and it was just not good. But now when I cry from my father, whatever, joy filled, it feels full of love and kind of joy, and kind of healthy in that yes, I miss him, but it’s also how much I loved him, is kind of bubbling out as well. To me, grief can be a joy filled proposition. There’s times where, like, I love when I fully cry and it feels cleansing and it feels healthy and it feels like I’m moving forward as opposed to falling back into something or you know, down into something.

Scarlet: So beautiful and so well-said. The truth is we, humans are designed for complicated emotions. We’re not designed to experience one emotion at a time. And I think most of the time we might notice that, even as we’re feeling grief, we might also feel joy. And even as we’re feeling joy, we might also feel sadness. The times that we might feel otherwise at the times that we’re purposely trying to suppress an emotion. And what’s interesting is that emotions are an all or none kind of deal. If we suppress grief, we also suppress joy. If we suppress anger, we also suppress exhilaration. And what that means is that, by creating space for all our emotions to exist, we’re allowing ourselves to better function as human beings. We can label our emotions and allow them and breathe with them and hold them gently. I talk about emotions as kind of a difference between holding a cactus gently, which can be a little prickly sometimes.

Some of our emotions are a little bit harsher than others, versus squeezing this cactus, right or sitting on it and pretending it doesn’t exist. Now squeezing the cactus, like clinging on to a certain emotion, like, very forcefully that will hurt. Sitting on a cactus and pretending it doesn’t exist can be really, really painful. And also not the way that would be functional. Instead, we can imagine that emotions are different kinds of cookies, so we can hold this, like, tray of emotions and we can imagine as, let’s sa,y joy can be chocolate chip cookies and maybe sadness can be macadamia nut cookies and all of these cookies, right, of all the different emotions can all coexist on this tray together. We don’t have to eat them, but they can all exist on this tray and we can hold this tray lightly. We can observe all of these cookies, all of these emotions, and we can allow for all of these cookies to be there at the same time.

McGinnis: I love how we went from cactuses to cookies.

Scarlet: Yes!

Miner: Yes! I love that. I love that at all. It’s one of the things that I love about being human. We share all these things, and again, it’s why I find it healthy to do things like this podcast, or to tweet things out, or whatever, is that I know that I’m not alone in what I’m experiencing. And it’s really important to remind ourselves of that. I think one of the funniest things to me about humanity is that, the thing we share the most is the feeling of being alone. And yet we’re absolutely not alone, in that every single human being has felt that way. And so I think that that is a good reminder that, it’s like, there’s always people that there’s just a shared experience, and there’s always people that, you’re really allowing yourself to experience it can help. The more that we’re able to share that and the more open we are, and the more we’re able to pull ourselves through, we can help pull others through as well. So that is one of the things that makes me proudly pull out that cookie tray, you know, is just the, I know that I can be healthier for others if I’m doing so.

McGinnis: Man, I want some cookies now.

Scarlet: Exactly. Yeah, we should definitely have some cookies afterwards.

McGinnis: So is there anything else that you’d like to say to people who might be struggling right now with grief?

Miner: There’s so much. I guess one of the things is, it’s a good time to, like, rather than getting stuck in trying to force some old paradigm of how life used to look, it is the most wonderful time to kind of open ourselves up creatively to how life can look now, and not try to deny any of the factors, not try to bottle it up or force it into looking some other way. It’s like, no, this is what life is, and let’s like, grow the good things,, and create a new existence for ourselves. To me that is the best coping mechanism through the grief is to be present and look at the existing factors, and find the beauty in those, and keep making more of that.

Scarlet: I love that. I would also like to add something that has been really helpful for me, that I would encourage folks to try if you’re interested, is to imagine that you are within your favorite story, whether it’sHarry Potter or Star Wars or Buffy or Supernatural or whatever you like, and you are now in the middle of the story, and you are one of the heroes of this story. And this is now the monster that you have to fight. And by monster,, I mean the pandemic and some of the big challenges that are arising from it. And you have a very important role to play. And that role means acknowledging your emotions and actually maybe even utilizing them as a source of your strength. We might not always like the source of our strength, but that is where strength comes from, is from our emotions. And then also by connecting with other people, by finding the way that we can contribute to facing this monster and helping the world.

Because the truth is, you are the hero of this journey, and every single thing that you do matters. And you know, maybe a decade now, there’s going to be a movie about this pandemic that we’re living through right now. And a hundred years from now, they’re going to be books and movies and documentaries, and they’re going to be focused on people’s stories. And a part of those stories will be yours, about what you did, whether they name you by your name or not, but they will talk about the thousands of people who contributed to the world exactly as you did. And you will be the person that they’re talking about. So remember, you are always capable of doing something. And so put on your emotions as an armor, as something you can wear. Maybe drape yourself in them and show up the way that you would want to show up to contribute to this world because you are the hero of your journey.

McGinnis: Wow, that was beautiful. I couldn’t help but imagine Lord of the Rings, Samwise Ganges, like little heroic reflection about why he’s part of this journey. And it’s just so powerful. I was getting chills.

Voiceover from The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

 

Sam: It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, The ones that really matter. Full of darkness and danger, they were sometimes you didn’t want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing. This shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it’ll shine out the clearer. Those are the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances to turn it back, only, they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something.

 

Frodo: What are we holding to, Sam?

 

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.

 

Miner: I love that and I was funny, cause I was thinking of Samwise as well, but it’s – it’s something that’s so important – is I’ve studied history a lot, to look at how do we contribute the most positive change in our society? And the truth is, we might tell certain stories of certain people, but that is just a story and it’s because we don’t have the capacity ,mentally, to hold on to all of the millions of stories that went along with that, and often they were more instrumental in actually creating the change. So I think it’s really important that we know that yes, we can pick out as human being certain stories, so that we can wrap our heads around it, but the truth is it is every single person’s story, and you are the main hero and protectionist in this, you know, in terms of what’s important, and humanity does not go on. It does not continue to exist without your contribution.

McGinnis: Wow, that was beautiful.

Scarlet: Exactly.

McGinnis: This has been a very beautiful, powerful, enlightening podcast. We want to thank you so much for joining us again. Rachel, can you please, once again, provide us with the Random Acts link and things like that, where on social media people can find you?

Miner: Absolutely. Thank you so much. I was so grateful to be here. And Random Acts, is random acts org, or @randomactsorg on Twitter and RandomActs.org as a website. And I’m @rachelminer1.

McGinnis: We’re gong to go ahead and end this episode of Superhero Therapy. Again, my name is Dustin McGinnis – you can find me on Twitter @thevaliantgeek.

Scarlet: And I’m Dr. Janina Scarlet. You can find me on Twitter @shadowquill and @drjaninascarletofficial on Instagram.

McGinnis: Thank you all so much for tuning in. Stay safe out there everybody and remember that you are a superhero.

The post Superhero Therapy Podcast Ep. 48: Embracing our Grief with Rachel Miner first appeared on Superhero Therapy.