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Tag: Abuse

Rescue Yourself from the Pernicious Shadow of the High Level Narcissist

Quote by Carl Jung  “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser itis. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.”

Trapped in a marriage or partnership with a pernicious high level narcissist, an individual obsessed with self and public image with extreme self entitlement, very low conscience capacity, often an infant terrible with a dreadful temper that is projected out on to you behind closed doors. This is horrifying to the spouse or child of the high level narcissist. 

The  high level carries from within a primitive, seething Shadow that ejects venom in various forms on to you: false accusations, recriminations, incessant criticisms, withering projections that send you into the dark reaches of the fight or flight nervous system, the sympathetic mode. You are at the mercy of the narcissist’s rampant regressed Shadow. The opposite occurs in public with the high level who worships his image. Here there is a major shift—the look of the face, the eyes, the movements, pace, style are transformed. The narcissist, an incredible method actor lights up with this charismatic false self. He/she turns it on like a light switch, a transformation that is highly impressive. 

How much longer can you tolerate the scream fits, volleys of temper, scathing glances, belittlings that leave you psychologically and physically weakened. You don’t and never did deserve to be treated this way. 

Make a stand now for yourself. You deserve to be treated with respect and deference. 

With this opening, you belong to yourself again–spontaneity, joy, awe, beauty, solitude, independence of thought.

I want to share some thoughts about the Shadow with you. 

For tens of thousands of yeaars man has been dealing with his Shadow in a variety of ways. Going back to the dawn of time when man first walked the earth upright, he has been infused with the Shadow parts of himself found in the deep unconscious of his psyche. 

Today we are still facing our Shadows. As humans we carry the inheritance of our Shadow selves. Tis is not a curse but an incredible boon to those who seek wholeness, individuation and the promise and the fulfillment of one’s unique creativity. 


Key Personality Traits of the Golden Boy High Level Narcissist

Charming, charismatic, gifted at luring you in and bringing you back when you have decided to leave them.

Golden boy high level narcissists seek escape and pleasure to the extreme. When things get tough they run off, escape to their pleasure domes, go on buying sprees, have exciting affairs, spent lots of money on bling–jewelry, fine clothes, fancy trips and exotic treks, endless shopping sprees.

Pathological bragging about what they own, what they purchaed, what they plan to buy, prominent schools they attended, their myriad successes, their grand plans to acquire more material largesse. 

Exceedingly vain–Constantly perfecting how they  look, clothing they wear, cars they drive, homes they purchase.

Excessive pathological self entitlement. He knows that he can control the lives of others, especially his spouses, children and inner social circle. 

When you fully comprehend that the golden boy narcissist cannot be your partner and is incapable of authentic empathy or compassion, being faithful to you, deeply appreciating you as an individual—–you finally see through the magnificent delusion he has created and that you at one time believed was true.

Now you are grounded in our own unique true reality, you are moving forward with perseverance and self assertion—discovering your own direction—coming back to your oriiginal self. 

I give you so much credit for this journey you have taken, leaving the high level narcissists and all others of this ilk.

Listen Up Adults! – We’ve got something to say! (A story about my transition to the gender I was supposed to be)

In this series, we are highlighting the voices of youth and giving them a forum to talk about what is on their minds. Ten year old ‘Matt’ joins us, along with his mom, to talk about his decision to live in this world in the way he has always felt…male. His words are so simple, yet so poignant, “Just BE who you are.” He goes on to remind us that we would all “just be happier” if we could accept each other.

Parasitic Narcissists Weaken Your Psychological and Physical Immune System

A parasitic narcissist is a merciless taker, feeding off of your emotional and psychological attachment to them, your vulnerability and dependency. They steal your physical and psychological energy and exploit your creative gifts. 

The narcissist puts you in fight or flight mode, the sympathetic nervous system zone which causes oxidative stress. When prolonged it disrupts the endocrine and adrenal systems, can cause extreme exhaustion, chronic insomnia, gut dysbiosis and weakening your immune system.

Over many years of being ruthlessly victimized by the parasitic narcissist you are always exhausted, lack energy and yur self-assertion has diminished with your confidence, your creative gifts lie fallow, you have severe mood shifts, feel depressed and anxious most of the time.  

How to break free from the parasitic narcissist:

Research and stud the origins and psychodynamics of the narcissistic personality. Read my books: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist.

Let go of the shame and doubt that has bound you from childhood through daily practice of self care: sleep, rest, downtime,, using your creative gifts, movement and exercise that works best for you.

Use your inner wisdom and intuition to continually protect yourself from entering into relationships with narcissistic personalities.



Respect and Praise for Children of Narcissistic Mothers

Narcissistic mothers come in innumerable sizes, shapes, proclivities, temperaments, dispositions but they have traits in common with regard to the way they treat their children. Being the child of a narcissistic mother is one of the most difficult , complex and painful human roles,

Narcissistic mothers:

Focus ont hemselves whether they are overt or covert narcissistic personalities.

These mothers insist on their version of “reality” not yours.

They are highly entitled to get and have whatever they want. If this means that you are their servant that’s just fine with them.

Narcissistic mothers rather than have a genuine relationship with their child are highly exploitive, using them to suit her purposes.

Their children are put into roles that burnish the narcissistic  mother’s perfect public image.

Narcissistic mothers are great actors who convince family members, social and professional circles that they are highly devoted and dedicated and loving toward their children. They are method actors in this way and fool almost everyone. 

Narcissistic mothers are masters of control and rule the household and children like tyrannical potentates. 

Narcissistic mothers humiliate their children, weakening them psychologically and causing them to doubt themselves.

Narcissistic mothers are hypocrites—very strict and insistent that  their child behaves perfectly but having no standards of civility or empathy in the way that she treats her children. 

Narcissistic mothers re incapable of true insight and spend their days in states of psychological denial and manufactured version of their delusional world where they reign as perfect, fine individuals. This is their belief.

You are a separate individual from your narcissistic mother. Learn to appreciate your individuality, creativity gifts, your warmth, intelligence, self initiation, kindness and psychological strength and stamina.

Extreme States and Mental Health Reform

Join Kristin as she speaks with Dr. Dan Edmunds regarding his work with extreme states and mental health reform.

Dr. Dan L. Edmunds is an existential psychoanalyst and psychotherapist in Northeastern Pennsylvania. His work has focused on drug-free, relational approaches for those undergoing extreme states of mind as well as autism and developmental differences. Dr. Edmunds is the founder of the Center for Humane Psychiatry, an emancipatory movement for human rights in the mental health system. Dr. Edmunds has advocated for psycho-social approaches for those in distress that are affordable and accessible. Dr. Edmunds developed a therapeutic community project and is involved with autism acceptance and the autistic rights movement. Dr. Edmunds is the author of BEING AUTISTIC: AN APPROACH TOWARDS UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE; THEY SAY MY CHILD HAS ADHD: DEBUNKING THE BIO-PSYCHIATRIC PARADIGM; THE MEETING OF TWO PERSONS; and MYSTICAL METAPHORS. Dr. Edmunds is a frequent speaker on critical psychology issues. 

High Level Narcissistic Golden Boy – Attracted to Empaths

Recall when you were face to face with an individual who exuded a palpable charm, a kind of erotic force that was impossible to deny, an enchantment. 

The golden one of many gifts – often handsome, articulate, at times brilliant, smooths his way through life having been born as a kind of nobility. 

Enter the empath, that unique individual of great discernment, intuition and sensitivity.  Often introverted they are drawn to this individual of towering self confidence, indomitable energy, fearlessness combined with magnetic charm.

If drawn into the narcissist’s enchanted circle the empath is loyal and tends to put up with the projections, criticisms and humiliations  by the high level narcissist. 

 There is a point of awakening when the empath has had more than enough of the high level’s brand of abuse and with research and inner wisdom decides to move forward along the pathways of the original self and put the emphasis on self care and creative and personal transformation. 

Children of Narcissistic Parents – You Deserve Full Self Entitlement

Children of narcissistic parents endure many psychological deprivations and abuses. These parents are obsessed with themselves and their needs and desires.

Growing up in these homes from hell you were often ignored. When you did not mirror the narcissistic parent perfectly you were highly criticized, humiliated, treated with scorn, even revulsion. 

Growing up in this way you received no sense of self entitlement. The message you received was one of unworthiness, disrespect, disdain. 

As you move forward in your recovery and transformation from the narcissistic parent you learn the following:

Entitled to the expression of our feelings of joy, exciteman, spontaneity, humor, sadness, anger.

Self assertion as a unique individual with many unique creative gifts. 

Solitude, the capacity to be alone and experience inner peace. 

Feelings psychologically and emotionally secure within yourself. 

Expectations of being treated with respect.

Fully entitled to all of the fruits of your creativity.


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