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ENMESHED, ENTRENCHED OR EMERGING EMPOWERED?

Enmeshed, Entrenched, and Emerging Empowered! Know the Differences so YOU can Make a Difference! You know that being enmeshed or entrenched with another human is unhealthy, right? You may not recognize just what’s happening right now, though. This episode will help you see what’s unhealthy and how to move towards Emerging Empowered.Hijackals want you to become enmeshed and entrenched, along with a host of other things they want that are designed to give them power and control over you. They want to be able to manipulate you. You know how they love to blame you for everything. Keeping you enmeshed makes Hijackals happy. They can play with your emotions like a cat with a toy. Nasty! Difficult situations are part and parcel of life with a Hijackal. If you become worn down enough because they have torn you down by putting you down, they think that makes you easier prey. They hope that you will allow them more and more power and control. Sometimes, you do, just to keep the peace. Sometimes, because you’re afraid of them! That’s why it’s important to recognize the distinctions I’m making in the episode. It will help you gain clarity, and see where you can regain some strength. Do you ever feel like you might just as well give in and stop resisting their manipulations? I’m sure you do. It’s exhausting and you end up picking your battles carefully. Then, things begin to wear away further, and there may be little left of you. Not good. So, listen in.?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What it means to be entrenched in a relationshipWhy being enmeshed can keep you stuck5 Steps to Emerging EmpoweredAnnouncing Dr. Shaler’s new Emerging Empowered CommunityHow to move towards empowerment and away from enmeshment with a HijackalIf you know that you need some insights, strategies, and support to arise from an unhealthy relationship,  I’m here to help.I wish you well.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.#entrenchedbehavior #enmeshedwithanarcissist #enmeshedwithmypartner #whatdoesitmeantobeenmeshed #recognizinghijackals #howcanichangeanabusivepattern #feelingempowered #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The High Level Narcissist Can't Stop Lying to You

Lying for the narcissist is as predictable and natural as the sun rising i the East. High level narcissists lie through commission and omission and by intricate combinations of the two. They pile one lie on top of the other with great “skill” and insouciance. Remember, narcissists unlike you and me do not have a fully developed conscience. 

High levels are shameless with their lies. They tell huge ones without blinking or blanching or having the slightest prick of conscience. 

The high level focuses on his primary goals:

Keeping his /her ego fully inflated at all times.

Seeking power over others within his occupational and societal orbit.

Keeping his eyes on the prize – material largesse, getting rid of competitors and if this involves smear campaigns the high level is gifted at ruining reputations through lies, accusations and insinuations.

The consequences of their multiple lies, misdeeds, cruelties, betrayals never enters their minds. In fact they blame everything that goes wrong on their victims and other innocents that are handy. Spreading lies and rumors are all part of their playbook.  :

When things get touch the lying high level leaves you behind. You have worn thin – they are looking and finding a new shiny replacement. You are exhausted and no longer attractive to them.  So they are off to create another delusion with someone who is naive, compliant, even worshipful of them.

You have awakened to the true nature of the high level narcissist. 

You are moving forward despite your history with this dreadful personality. 

You have persevered – through your knowledge, psychological stamina, inner wisdom, intuition. This is your time of transformation, healing, restoration. 

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com/

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

 

Reactive Angry Buddhist and Adult Child of Alcoholic Finds Her Voice

Jeanne is the adult child of an alcoholic, who has tried just about every modality to fill the hole in her heart, including Buddhism, and although she found golden nuggets, it was not until she could hear the voice of her inner child that she could finally feel free of the wounds of the past. 

Online Codependency Recovery Program

https://www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp

YouTube Channel

http://bit.ly/32zOvUh

Instagram

@lisaaromano

Contact 

support.coach@lisaaromano.co

Facebook Support Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/adultchildrenofalcoholics/

 

THE FAWNING RESPONSE

Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder–which many people who have been abused in many ways do, you may recognize that you actually respond to conflict with The Fawning Response. This term was created by therapist and abuse survivor Pete Walker in his book “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It’s a coping mechanisem, a poor one, used in an attempt to create safety in our relationships with others to garner their approval and meet their expectations. As I said, it’s not a good one. It’s unhealthy and damaging to yourself. Hence, self-abandonment! You give and give and give in toxic relationships and it’s never enough, right? Hijackals always want more. Even if they tell you exactly what they want from you, when you give that exact thing to them, they want something different. Overtime, over-giving becomes a habit, and so does fawning. It’s exhausting. One thing people who have experienced trauma don’t want? More trauma. The fawning response is an attempt to prevent more trauma. IT DOESN’T WORK, but you’re ever hopeful it will keep you out of the spotlight and out of hot water. Listen in and recognize The Fawming Response in action. If it sounds familiar, take it to heart and choose to make a change. You may think it’s keeping you safe, but it actually is not. You’re losing yourself, and that’s not a good thing at all! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What The Fawning Response isHow it shows upWhy it shows up and becomes a habitSeven ways you abandon yourself when you choose the fawning responseWhy its important to see the fawning response and give it up If you recognize that the Fawning Response is something you want to address,  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.———————————————————————-#FAWNINGRESPONSE #fightflightfreezefawn #madepeoplefeelcomfortable #putyourselflast #otherpeoplemoreimportant #makingmyselfinvisible #pleasingothers #fawningtraumaresponse #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You No Longer are the High Level Narcissist's Beast of Burden

A beast of burden is defined as an animal who caries heavy loads or must do very hard work. 

High level narcissists often put their children, spouses, ex-spouses, family members in the role of servants.

The high level narcissist is imperious. He/she is the ruler in every relationship. Children of narcissists are at the mercy, whim, impulse, psychopathology of their highly disturbed parents. Being raised by a high level narcissistic parent, the child has no real support, validation, emotional closeness, feeling of security or protection or sense of entitlement (unless he is the golden child and adored. 

Children growing up with a high level narcissistic parent describe that they felt like prisoners in their own homes. 

The high level narcissistic parent is highly demanding of what he or she wants and must have. Nothing is ever good enough for the narcissistic parent. 

The child of a narcissistic parent is likely to marry a narcissist, repeated the psychological pattern of abuse.

The high level narcissistic spouse is impossible–making outrageous demands, throwing criticisms right and left, making the partner feel unworthy and defective. 

Some high level narcissistic spouses keep their human beats of burden. 

Those married to high level narcissists can awaken to the truth that they have been the victims of narcissistic abuse, move forward along their own pathways of restoration, renewal, transformation and the full use of your creative original self. They are human beasts of burden no longer. You belong to your unique self, use your creativity fully and deeply.

Practice self care each day: sleep, rest, listen to beautiful music, movement and exercise that works for you, good nourishment and hydration, a form of mindfulness. that you discover, the gifts of Nature, the use and richness of your unique creativity. 

 

 

Empaths – Beware of Predatory Narcissists

Predatory narcissists are beautifully packaged, have great social skills, charisma, mirror you and make you feel special.

Sequence of predatory narcissists in controlling you:

Engage you and show great interest in you, very friendly.

Activate the relationship

Exploit you completely – taking your time, energy, your creative gifts, making constant demands, wearing you out, humiliating you.

They will reactivate this relationship and re-exploit you many times over years and decades. 

Eventually the narcissist will discard you with a newer, compliant model. You are not an individual to them. You are a commodity they use to feed their egos and fulfill their outrageous goals. 

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

High Level Narcissists – Ultimate Takers, Dissemblers

High level narcissists are dissemblers, filled with patterns of deceit and corruption. They conceal the truth from you at every turn. As the partner, spouse or child of a high level narcissist, you can only expect lies and purposeful obfuscations from these individuals. 

Some of the things that the high level takes from you:

Your inner peace and sense of solitude.

Eclipse the amount of time that you can spend in the calming restorative parasympathetic body/mind systems where you experience healing and transformation.

Making continuous demands for keeping their fragile egos inflated with constant praise, adulation, obedience, unlimited attention, gratitude, veneration. 

High level narcissists are dissemblers who despise the truth. Constructing elaborate lies and obfuscations are the methods that they use to continue to rise up to their over the top positions of power and influence. 

High levels put untold pressures on you to compromise your well developed conscience. 

High level narcissists are envious of your creative gifts. Sometimes they lift your original concepts and exploit them for their own purposes. 

High levels wear you down with multiple humiliations that they know will compromise you psychologically and emotionally. 

Ultimately you can never be your true self partnered with a high level narcissist. They are incapable of developing meaningful, empathic, loving relationships. 

At a point of deep insight you decide to move forward as an independent, free, creative, grounded person, steeped in your own wisdom, psychological stamina unique individuality. 

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

ARE YOU ABANDONING YOURSELF BY ENABLING OR CODEPENDENCE?

It is essential to recognize when you are abandoning yourself. You may think it’s part of being a good person. It’s a delicate balance, for sure. How do you re-establish that balance if you have become an enabler, or are codependent?  Listening to this episode is a very good start! At the extreme, you abandon yourself when you totally accommodate another person’s needs and wants even when those needs, wants–and, even demands–are outrageous! Most people don’t go that far, and yet they abandon themselves. Understanding what it is to be enabling another, or codependent on another, highlights ways in which you abandon yourself. Believe me, it’s not worth it! And, you may think there will be a payoff for doing it somewhere down the yellow brick road. No! No! Because people take advantage of enablers and co-dependents, and walk on them. Sad, but true! Have you ever given up your dreams, hopes, interests, and aspirations in order for someone to be interested in you, like you, or hopefully love you? That’s a big sign of self-abandonment. And, only one of about twenty I share with you in this episode. Some are subtle and only you know they are happening within you. Others are more obvious and public. No, you don’t want those, either! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:My practical definitions of self-abandonment, enabling, and codependenceSo many ways to recognize how you may be abandoning yourself in many circumstancesHow self-abandonment is part and parcel of enabling and codependence…and whyFour key strategies for overcoming self-abandonmentHow to create emotional balance so that you can create more balanced relationships with my BIG three! Do you recognize ways in which you’ve been abandoning yourself?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.———————————————————————-#abandonyourself #abandoningyourself #codependence #enabling #beinganenabler #losingyourselfinaguy #losingyourselfinagirl #givingtoomuch #endingperfectionism #emotionalabuserecovery #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

For Empaths – Learning to Trust Yourself and Others

The beginnings of trust occur very early in a child’s life. The baby, especially the empath, senses whether he/she can depend on his/her mother or father to feel safe, secure, valued, psychologically grounded.

With a narcissistic mother you treaded lightly, always waiting for her to blow like a bubbling volcano. 

You took on the burden of your parents’ core psychological issues and tried to solve their problems so that you could have a real family. You were the fixer and the little child grownup. 

There comes a time of clarity when you recognize that you can no longer play the role of family fixer. 

This is your moment of independence, self care and transformation. 

Keep company with yourself; get to know and appreciate who you are as an individual. This is a time of solitude and resfulness. 

Trust your deep intuition. 

Rest, rest, rest. 

Movement and exercise that works for you.

Listen to restorative beautiful music. Spend time with Nature. 

Good nutrition and hydration.  

Activate and honor your creativity.

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

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