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What About Complex-PTSD?

When you’ve suffered trauma, it can have a long term affect. Long-term trauma is different. In this episode, you can learn about the attributes, traits, and causes of C-PTSD to help you understand what may be lingering in your body/mind system, and what you can do about it. How you were raised creates the beliefs you hold about yourself, others, and the world. If you’ve had dysfunction and abuse in your early life, your views of these may be warped. You may experience heightened emotional distress, feel overwhelmed, anxious, helpless, or hopeless. Certainly, you can feel disempowered. Understand the undepinnings of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can uncover the places in your life that may have set you on a difficult path. When that happens in your family or origin, you can expect it to be highly likely that you’ll attract a difficult relationship, two or ten, into your adult life. It’s not what you want, but it’s what you know. You don’t do it on purpose, but it happens all the same.Often, that leads to feeling stuck. Then, you may also have difficulty controlling your emotions, or feel angry or distrustful towards the world. Maybe, you feel empty or hopeless.”Why is this happening to me? I’ve been a good, caring, giving person, and yet it’s never enough.” Have you had that thought? Or, have you become so exhausted from being worn down and torn down that you simply give up and give in? How about the feeling that you are completely different than other people, and nobody understands what’s happened to you. Or, do you avoid friendships and relationships, or at least, find them daunting and difficult? These things can be symptoms of C-PTSD, Complet Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Knowing what to look for can set you on a corrective path that can lead you to a healthier, happier life. Lean in and listen to see which, if any, of this episode can provide you with a new understanding of yourself, and your relationships. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, C-PTSD, isWhat situations and relationships can lead you to suffer from C-PTSDWhat C-PTSD can cause you to experience in life…especially what you may never have recognized before5 major things that are great first steps toward healing C-PTSD, putting it well in the background of your life…and leaving it thereWondering about the pathway to healing once you’ve recognized C-PTSD? I’m here to help.I wish you well.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month just now.#complexptsd #emotionalflashbacks #childhoodabuse #childhoodneglect #abandonment #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #causesofcptsd#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequestSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

WHY HIJACKALS CREATE CHAOS & CONFUSION

Don’t Hijackals love to stir the pot and keep it swirling? They definitely have goals in mind and one is to keep you spinning and the relationship unstable. You want that to stop. Get insights into stopping the spinning and instability in this episode.When a Hijackal wants power over you–and they all do, one of the most likely ways they go for it is to catch you off-guard, keep you uncertain, and be contradictory. You’ve likely noticed that. They think that allows them to operate somehow undercover if they keep you off-center. And, many times it works. After you listen to this episode, if it was working, it won’t anymore!What are some moves that I’ve done episodes on that are examples of their wily ways?gaslightingblameshiftingpastcastingmoving the markerslyingdismissing youdiscounting youisolationtriangulationthreats to abandonThe Silent Treamentthreats to hurt you, your children, your property, or your reputation…and those are only some!A toxic person, a Hijackal’s intention is to keep you off balance. While you are second-guessing yourself or questioning your sanity at their instigation, they are undercutting your confidence and undermining your certainty. And, all to have a continuous advantage over you! Nasty.I offer you eight steps you can take immediately…and they don’t involve getting the cooperation of the Hijackal. That’s ideal! You want to get back to your own center, live your own values, and establish yourself in a relationship that offers equality and equity, reciprocity, and mutuality. Of course, those are things that Hijackals shy away from, if not run screaming from. Unfortunately, though, they won’t run off without a mega effort to have power over you and run you down.Now, you can beging with the eight steps in this episode. Yay!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why Hijackals think they have the right to shape the relationshipHow Hijackals create chaos and confusionWhy Hijackals work to keep you in uncertainty and, preferably, instabilityHijackal moves to exert power over you8 steps to stop the spinning and the instability they want to createDo you need help to stop the chaos and confusion?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.#narcissistscreatechaos #keepingyouconfused #underminingmyconfidence #havepoweroverme #controlissues #controllingpeople #manipulativepartner #mypartnerwantstocontrolme #mypartnerdoesntcareaboutme #myrelationshipisunequal #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequestSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM ENABLER'S GUILT?

You could be suffering from enabler’s guilt without knowing what is causing your fear, anxiety, or depression. THE GOOD NEWS: It doesn’t have to be that way. Once you recognize what’s going on, you can take steps to change it, reclaim your power, and rebuild your life.Do you ever feel that, somehow, it’s your job to make other people happy? Where do you think you got that idea? Who taught you that?Those answers are a good start on how you may have come to have enabler’s guilt. In episode 196, I talked about people pleasing in depth. That’s part of it. Add to that the concept of The Fawning Response from episodem and you’ll understand more fully the underpinnings of my concept of “Enabler’s Guilt.”You’ve likely heard of Survivor’s Guilt which happens when people believe they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others didn’t. Think of that as a parallel concept to Enabler’s Guilt….especially if you have already determined that you have, at times at least, been an enabler of a Hijackal, a difficult, toxic person. Here’s my definition of enabling to help:”Enabling is when you usually step in to fix, solve, excuse, rationalize, justify, or make the consequences go away for the poor choices of others.” Familiar? Do you know an enabler? Are you one?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What enabler’s guilt isHow enabler’s guilt is similar to survivor’s guilt and witness builtWhy guilt and feeling guilty are not the sameHow you came to believe other people are more important than you areSteps to rethink your guilt and reclaim your powerIf you are experiencing enabler’s guilt, or need insights and strategies to handle a relationship with a Hijackal, I’m here to help.I wish you well.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.#enabling #enablersguilt #guiltfornotbeinggoodenough #guiltyoffailing #survivorsguilt #witnessguilt #guiltyfornotpreventingabuse #guiltfornotstoppingabuse #feelingguilty#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

ENMESHED, ENTRENCHED OR EMERGING EMPOWERED?

Enmeshed, Entrenched, and Emerging Empowered! Know the Differences so YOU can Make a Difference! You know that being enmeshed or entrenched with another human is unhealthy, right? You may not recognize just what’s happening right now, though. This episode will help you see what’s unhealthy and how to move towards Emerging Empowered.Hijackals want you to become enmeshed and entrenched, along with a host of other things they want that are designed to give them power and control over you. They want to be able to manipulate you. You know how they love to blame you for everything. Keeping you enmeshed makes Hijackals happy. They can play with your emotions like a cat with a toy. Nasty! Difficult situations are part and parcel of life with a Hijackal. If you become worn down enough because they have torn you down by putting you down, they think that makes you easier prey. They hope that you will allow them more and more power and control. Sometimes, you do, just to keep the peace. Sometimes, because you’re afraid of them! That’s why it’s important to recognize the distinctions I’m making in the episode. It will help you gain clarity, and see where you can regain some strength. Do you ever feel like you might just as well give in and stop resisting their manipulations? I’m sure you do. It’s exhausting and you end up picking your battles carefully. Then, things begin to wear away further, and there may be little left of you. Not good. So, listen in.?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What it means to be entrenched in a relationshipWhy being enmeshed can keep you stuck5 Steps to Emerging EmpoweredAnnouncing Dr. Shaler’s new Emerging Empowered CommunityHow to move towards empowerment and away from enmeshment with a HijackalIf you know that you need some insights, strategies, and support to arise from an unhealthy relationship,  I’m here to help.I wish you well.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.#entrenchedbehavior #enmeshedwithanarcissist #enmeshedwithmypartner #whatdoesitmeantobeenmeshed #recognizinghijackals #howcanichangeanabusivepattern #feelingempowered #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

THE FAWNING RESPONSE

Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder–which many people who have been abused in many ways do, you may recognize that you actually respond to conflict with The Fawning Response. This term was created by therapist and abuse survivor Pete Walker in his book “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It’s a coping mechanisem, a poor one, used in an attempt to create safety in our relationships with others to garner their approval and meet their expectations. As I said, it’s not a good one. It’s unhealthy and damaging to yourself. Hence, self-abandonment! You give and give and give in toxic relationships and it’s never enough, right? Hijackals always want more. Even if they tell you exactly what they want from you, when you give that exact thing to them, they want something different. Overtime, over-giving becomes a habit, and so does fawning. It’s exhausting. One thing people who have experienced trauma don’t want? More trauma. The fawning response is an attempt to prevent more trauma. IT DOESN’T WORK, but you’re ever hopeful it will keep you out of the spotlight and out of hot water. Listen in and recognize The Fawming Response in action. If it sounds familiar, take it to heart and choose to make a change. You may think it’s keeping you safe, but it actually is not. You’re losing yourself, and that’s not a good thing at all! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What The Fawning Response isHow it shows upWhy it shows up and becomes a habitSeven ways you abandon yourself when you choose the fawning responseWhy its important to see the fawning response and give it up If you recognize that the Fawning Response is something you want to address,  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.———————————————————————-#FAWNINGRESPONSE #fightflightfreezefawn #madepeoplefeelcomfortable #putyourselflast #otherpeoplemoreimportant #makingmyselfinvisible #pleasingothers #fawningtraumaresponse #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

ARE YOU ABANDONING YOURSELF BY ENABLING OR CODEPENDENCE?

It is essential to recognize when you are abandoning yourself. You may think it’s part of being a good person. It’s a delicate balance, for sure. How do you re-establish that balance if you have become an enabler, or are codependent?  Listening to this episode is a very good start! At the extreme, you abandon yourself when you totally accommodate another person’s needs and wants even when those needs, wants–and, even demands–are outrageous! Most people don’t go that far, and yet they abandon themselves. Understanding what it is to be enabling another, or codependent on another, highlights ways in which you abandon yourself. Believe me, it’s not worth it! And, you may think there will be a payoff for doing it somewhere down the yellow brick road. No! No! Because people take advantage of enablers and co-dependents, and walk on them. Sad, but true! Have you ever given up your dreams, hopes, interests, and aspirations in order for someone to be interested in you, like you, or hopefully love you? That’s a big sign of self-abandonment. And, only one of about twenty I share with you in this episode. Some are subtle and only you know they are happening within you. Others are more obvious and public. No, you don’t want those, either! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:My practical definitions of self-abandonment, enabling, and codependenceSo many ways to recognize how you may be abandoning yourself in many circumstancesHow self-abandonment is part and parcel of enabling and codependence…and whyFour key strategies for overcoming self-abandonmentHow to create emotional balance so that you can create more balanced relationships with my BIG three! Do you recognize ways in which you’ve been abandoning yourself?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.———————————————————————-#abandonyourself #abandoningyourself #codependence #enabling #beinganenabler #losingyourselfinaguy #losingyourselfinagirl #givingtoomuch #endingperfectionism #emotionalabuserecovery #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M READY TO DATE AFTER A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?

8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse. that you need to consider even if you don’t want to and just want to go get the love, fun, attention, and validation you’ve been missing. What if you skip them? It could be a disaster.You may be anxious to date, or you may be scared spitless! Or, sometimes ready and sometimes sure you’ll never be! That’s how uncertain you can feel once a Hijackal is in your rear view mirror. Does it sound familiar? Even if you’re still with a Hijackal, you may be wondering about life beyond that relationship. Listen in to understand the best things to consider before you hit the dating scene. Maybe, you have a friend who’s newly single. Invite her or him to listen in because most divorces are fraught will many of the same issues leaving Hijackals present. Yes, you might be wishing I was going to say, “Leap! Enjoy! Have fun!” I want that for you, however, not until you’re well-prepared. You want to be successful, to see and avoid all red flags, right? That means being wise, slowing down, and thinking about a few things first. Yep! Sorry. It takes time. You might hope that dating will be a distraction.. Actually, it is more likely to be a disaster if you haven’t attended to the 8 Essential Factors in the broadcast. You could even find yourself hooked to another Hijackal! Oops! Recovery itself takes a lot of things Far more than these 8 Factors. That’s why I call them the ESSENTIAL ones. These are the MUST-DO ones that you are wise to have spent time with in your plan BEFORE DATING! Please listen. ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Be emotionally prepared for datingFollow the 8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse…at a minimum!Why you don’t want to use dating as a distraction from the pain of emotional abuseWhy you are not wise to jump into dating to feel better about yourselfA great analogy about wounds and scars to keep in mind Are you wanting help to heal in the most direct way after the emotional abuse of a toxic relationship?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.———————————————————————-#datingafteremotionalabuse #datingafteranarcissist #amireadytodate #howdoiknowimreadytodateafteranarcissist #healingafteranarcissist #emotionalabuserecovery #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

RECLAIMING YOUR BODY AFTER AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GUEST: Anna-Thea

For many women–and men, too, restoring a feeling of safety to enjoy sexual intimacy seems a long way off. Anna-Thea share invaluable insights for regaining that sense of safety. Trust, too, can be a big issue. In fact, letting a new person into your life at all can cause concern. That’s natural. You are wise to take care of yourself. Today’s insights in this episode can help so much! You want to attract a healthier partner this time, I know. It’s SO important that you feel safe to establish sexual intimacy, and that means establishing emotional intimacy first! Sure, sex can be exciting just for it’s own sake. It’s not usually a good way to begin a relationship, though, if you’re hoping for a long0term relationship. Yes, I know, there is often a feeling of pressure to be intimate in many early relationships. Resist the urge to have sex until you actually feel emotionally safe with someone! Does that seem do-able and/or wise? Today, Anna-Thea and I talk about why we have to redefine love in order to see healthier pathways to create and experience it. You can have great sex with someone and never be able to talk about your feelings, for instance. Is that a good thing for you? Not likely if you’re hoping to have a healthy relationship with a partner in life! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why we have to redefine loveWhat makes the Feminine special and SacredHow attracting a healthy person requires being healthy yourselfWhy your body is not a “negotiation”Where the meeting place between safety and vulnerability is Do you need help to make the shift to consider a new relationship after leaving an emotionally abusive one? We can talk. warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: ANNA-THEAAnna-Thea educates women to connect to the power and sacredness of their feminine side – certified from the Divine Feminine Institute as a Divine Feminine Educator and Spiritual Sexual Educator. Graduating with honors with a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition, she also holds a double certification in yoga and taught yoga for many years. She now focuses her attention on Divine Feminine Education. Her book “Empower Yourself by Loving Your Body” offers powerful insights for women.FREE GIFT FROM ANNA-THEA:Enjoy Anna-Thea’s Love Quiz here: https://annathea.org/love-testCONTACT ANNA-THEAWebsite: https://annathea.orgPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-thea-fabricius-4b16bb7Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/annatheafabInstagram https://www.instagram.com/divinefeminine.educatorTwitterhttps://twitter.com/theannatheaYouTube:——————————————————————————————————————————–Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. When you like my pages, or subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the notification bell, you’ll hear about each Monday’s livestream where you can join in and ask questions, too. FOLLOW DR. SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler————————————————————-I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle———————————————————————-#reclaimingyourbodyafterabuse #intimacyafteremotionalabuse #intimacyafterphysical abuse #intimacyaftersexualabuse #comfortablewithsex #comfortablewithyourbody #recoveringtoenjoysexafterabuse #recoveringafterabuse #annathea #empoweryourselfbylovingyourbody#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

4 TYPES & 3 DEGREES OF NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR

You likely give people the benefit of the doubt, or are willing to go the extra mile for them. That’s healthy and usually reciprocal. Great! BUT, when you’re with someone with narcissistic behaviors, it’s not healthy or reciprocal. It’s unhealthy and one-sided.Most people immediately think of a particular set of traits when they think of narcissism in general: the blustery, look-at-me, superior, grandiose example. And, yes, that is definitely one of the types. Sometimes harder to detect–or harder to believe exist–are the other three contrasting types. Some are sneaky. Some play on your heartstrings. Some simply don’t care! Knowing about these four types can expand the way you look at a troublesome, difficult, or toxic set of traits and realize what’s likely going on. That’s a big help! How will it help? When you clearly see the patterns, traits, cycles and behaviors of another person, you can make healthy decisions for yourself as to whether you would like to stay in the relationship. Should I stay or should I leave? You need to know what the possibilities for change are, right? So often, new clients come with that exact question, “Stay or go?” There’s so much to calibrate and they want guidance, information, and direction to make those healthier decisions. And, what if there are children to consider? A huge consideration!!! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:4 different types of narcissistsDistinguishing features of each type of narcissistic behaviorWhy it’s important to talk about narcissistic behavior or narcissistic tendencies rather than a diagnosisHow two types of narcissistic behavior can have degrees of severityCan people with narcissistic leanings change? Wondering about your relationship as it relates to narcissism?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month and that includes two monthly group Ask Her Anything calls, too! ———————————————————————-#typesofnarcissists #narcissistictypes #grandiosenarcissist #vulnerablenarcissist #communalnarcissist #malignantnarcissist #thedarktriad #narcissistictraits #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

10 Emotionally Abusive Things Hijackals Say Often

You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it’s being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer. #Hijackals are always looking for a way, a place, an opening to exert power over you. I’m thinking that you’re nodding your head in agreement as you read that, right? Hijackals will go to any lengths to be right, to win, to make you wrong, and make everything your fault. It’s the Hijackal’s nature to do that. And, it is exhausting! You can become so worn down that you may even start believing what a Hijackal says about you. Has that happened to you? Or, maybe, you got to the “Whatever!” stage? You have been judged, criticized, gaslighted, and ignored, too. They feel powerful when they do those things: large and in charge, they think. They are not. They are actually small and afraid, but they’ll never, ever see or admit that. In this episode, I’ve offered ten of the multitude of things a narcissist or other Hijackal will say to you to put you in your place, or so they think! In their worlds, they must be the top of the pile, and they honestly think that their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, preferences, memories, whims, and demands should take precedence over everyone else’s. Yes, they may do that in an overt, obvious, even grandiose way. They also may do it in a “I’m a victim” covert way. In fact, many times, they’ll use both, just to cover their bases. How to respond to this to save your sanity and stop second-guessing yourself? I offer you clear ways to work on that. ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why narcissistic Hijackals (in fact, all Hijackals) need to demean, dismiss, and discount you10 phrases they use to hopefully gain power over youHow to use your inner dialogue to not shrink when a narcissist is nastyRecognizing more ways that emotional abuse shows up in primary relationships with parents, partners, siblings, and adult childrenHow to stick to the facts and respond accordingly Do you need insights and strategies for mitigating and responding to emotional and verbal abuse?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Save $24 on your first three months.———————————————————————-#emotionallyabusive #nastythingsnarcissistssay #whatnarcissistssay #howtoneutralize #neutralizeemotionalabuse #neutralizingverbalabuse #yourinternaldialogue #notgoodenough #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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