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Tag: Covert Narcissist

Never Underestimate the High Level Narcissist's Cunning

The high level narcissist is a restless human being. He/she is always seeking narcissistic supplies–those psychological foods that he must have in order to keep his ego sense of self fully inflated…. 

Those who marry high level narcissists are unaware of their cunning and secrecy. 

You have been betrayed too many times and treated with disrespect—This is a non-relationship. 

Now you are awakening to self care: rest and sleep, nourishing food, hydration, movement and exercise, Nature, beautiful music, your form of spiritual practice.



High Level Narcissists – Vicious Exploitation

High level narcissists cause multiple psychological and emotional traumas in the lives of others, particularly their spouses, ex-spouses, children, in-laws. Always on the hunt for narcissistic supplies which includes a feverish search for people they can exploit, the high level can deleteriously affect a wide swath of people including close family members. Exploitive, duplicitous, high manipulative, secretive, the high level never stops his hunt for the ultimate narcissistic supplies: praise, adulation, social status, wealth, spouses and partners that will enhance his/her image of perfection. 

I have seen families decimated in the aftermath of the narcissist’s vicious, repeated dark deeds. Having neither shame nor conscience, a high level narcissist, thinks absolutely nothing of leaving an ex-spose and his children with no financial support or security while he or she moves on with a new fresh partner to marry again and begin a new family. Narcissists don’t stop. Just when you think that they have mellowed, changed or slowed down, they will surprise you with finding another way to obstruct you. 

 High level narcissists want everything for themselves. They will never take responsibility ever for the damage that they do. Never wait for an apology or reparations from them. They view themselves as perfect—they have the problem. 

Become highly informed about the narcissistic personality. This is a powerful tool for you. 

You are moving forward along your pathways of the original self. You deserve tremendous credit for all of your research, insights, intuitions and great wisdom 


High Level Narcissists Eclipse Your Psychological, Emotional and Creative Options

You cannot be the spouse of a high level narcissist and be free to be yourself.  The narcissist takes space in certain crevices of  your mind and heart that cannot be overlooked. 

High level narcissists nibble away at our hope, creativity and optimism. They pick at you here and there. For spouses who are more dependent and vulnerable, they can leave this person  helpless, unable to make their own decisions, immobilized psychologically. 

High level narcissists weaken, deride and humiliate the ones This is delusional on their part.  

After research, study, insights and many efforts you reach an awakening to the truth about the true nature of the high level narcissist. 

Practice self care each day: rest, sleep,  nourishing food, good hydration, movement and exercise that works for you,.

Expanding and Deepening Your Individuality

Qualities of Individuality 

Independence of Mind- Respecting your thought processes but remaining flexible to changing your perceptions when research and insight individuates your movement to a new direction.

Trusting your intuition – Flashes of wisdom that move taster than thought. 

Appreciate the forces that created you and how you survived and who you are becoming as a unique individual.

Appreciating you sense of humor – Humor is magic and distinguishes us as individuals.

A scene from a camping site near the ocean describes the beauty and simplicity of family and friend gatherings overlooking the ocean. Campers have set ups that move from motor homes to trucks to small campers. 

This is a lovely scene of people enjoying the cooking and eating of homemade food, children playing games, scooters, bikes; adults talking with one another with warmth, small fires that create warmth and friendship. 

Recall your memories of times you spent in beautiful natural places: ocean, lakes, mountains.  These experiences are calming, enjoyable, hopeful, restorative 

Appreciate yourself as an individual, immerse yourself in beauty every day, get the rest and sleep that you need and deserve, hydration, nourishing food, movement and exercise, listen to beautiful music.

Predatory Narcissists Compromise Your Physical and Psychological Health

I hear from many partners of predatory narcissistic personalities who have struggled profoundly in their marriages to narcissistic personalities. 

Living with a narcissistic spouse saps your energy, increases anxiety and hypervigilance, blocks your creative juices, stunts your emotional expression and spontaneity, isolates you from family and friends, sends you into depressive moods dysregulates your body/mind systems, increases oxidative stress, traps you in the sympathetic zone, the fight or flight survival mode. 

How much longer will you continue this self destructive pattern? How many more times will you return to the narcissist?

This is your moment of awakening, your revelation of the pathway of the authentic self. Your road is up ahead, awaiting your presence. 

Recognize that you are entitled, you are created to fulfill your destiny, a unique, creative, evolved individual. 

Spend as much time as you can in the calming restorative, parasympathetic mode: rest, sleep, nourishing food, hydration, beautiful music, time with individuals you trust, your unique spiritual practice, restorative time with Nature.  

Learn to Detach from the Narcissist's Outrageous Projections

Narcissists are constantly projecting their unconscious psychological venom on to others, especially spouses, children and other family members. Inside the privacy of the home, those who revere the image that the narcissist presents in the outside world have no inkling just how ugly the narcissist’s personality can be. For those he/she is impressing to obtain narcissistic supplies, this person becomes a source of adulation and veneration. 

For those who live with him behind closed doors, the narcissist is a living nightmare. He is constantly demanding, spoiled, insisting on perfection from others. When narcissists don’t get from you what they say they want, they are inclined to scream like two year olds with greatly enhanced volume. When you do something perfectly he finds a flaw and starts picking away at you.  They are relentless insisting that they are right, you are wrong and that there is something psychologically and mentally askew with you. The reverse is true–this individual has a severe personality disorder that is not going to change. 

For many spouses it is necessary to sever the relationship because of its toxicity to them. Learning how to detach and build a stronger solid sense of self and your own entitlement are keys to dealing with the narcissistic personality and moving forward as a unique, grounded individual.

High Level Narcissists Steal Your Creative Visions

High level narcissists are ravenous for new ideas and concepts. If they can’t conjure up one themselves, they will steal yours. They become intrigued with you if you have talent. With their charm and believable facade they convince you that you are destined to become an integral part of their corporative team. 

They cascade you with compliments. They treat you like royalty. Most people are fooled by this full court charm and adoration offensive. You start to trust them and share your creative projects with them. Your designs, apps, book concepts, etc., are laid out in full detail. The project is moving forward. Your friend and business partner has disappeared. Some time later you discover that your creative concepts have been commandeered and now have his label on them. He has betrayed you. 

The lesson here is to always remember the value of your unique creativity. Pay attention to your intuitions that accurately reveals l the true nature of the narcissistic personality.

Rescue Yourself from the Pernicious Shadow of the High Level Narcissist

Quote by Carl Jung  “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser itis. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.”

Trapped in a marriage or partnership with a pernicious high level narcissist, an individual obsessed with self and public image with extreme self entitlement, very low conscience capacity, often an infant terrible with a dreadful temper that is projected out on to you behind closed doors. This is horrifying to the spouse or child of the high level narcissist. 

The  high level carries from within a primitive, seething Shadow that ejects venom in various forms on to you: false accusations, recriminations, incessant criticisms, withering projections that send you into the dark reaches of the fight or flight nervous system, the sympathetic mode. You are at the mercy of the narcissist’s rampant regressed Shadow. The opposite occurs in public with the high level who worships his image. Here there is a major shift—the look of the face, the eyes, the movements, pace, style are transformed. The narcissist, an incredible method actor lights up with this charismatic false self. He/she turns it on like a light switch, a transformation that is highly impressive. 

How much longer can you tolerate the scream fits, volleys of temper, scathing glances, belittlings that leave you psychologically and physically weakened. You don’t and never did deserve to be treated this way. 

Make a stand now for yourself. You deserve to be treated with respect and deference. 

With this opening, you belong to yourself again–spontaneity, joy, awe, beauty, solitude, independence of thought.

I want to share some thoughts about the Shadow with you. 

For tens of thousands of yeaars man has been dealing with his Shadow in a variety of ways. Going back to the dawn of time when man first walked the earth upright, he has been infused with the Shadow parts of himself found in the deep unconscious of his psyche. 

Today we are still facing our Shadows. As humans we carry the inheritance of our Shadow selves. Tis is not a curse but an incredible boon to those who seek wholeness, individuation and the promise and the fulfillment of one’s unique creativity. 


Key Personality Traits of the Golden Boy High Level Narcissist

Charming, charismatic, gifted at luring you in and bringing you back when you have decided to leave them.

Golden boy high level narcissists seek escape and pleasure to the extreme. When things get tough they run off, escape to their pleasure domes, go on buying sprees, have exciting affairs, spent lots of money on bling–jewelry, fine clothes, fancy trips and exotic treks, endless shopping sprees.

Pathological bragging about what they own, what they purchaed, what they plan to buy, prominent schools they attended, their myriad successes, their grand plans to acquire more material largesse. 

Exceedingly vain–Constantly perfecting how they  look, clothing they wear, cars they drive, homes they purchase.

Excessive pathological self entitlement. He knows that he can control the lives of others, especially his spouses, children and inner social circle. 

When you fully comprehend that the golden boy narcissist cannot be your partner and is incapable of authentic empathy or compassion, being faithful to you, deeply appreciating you as an individual—–you finally see through the magnificent delusion he has created and that you at one time believed was true.

Now you are grounded in our own unique true reality, you are moving forward with perseverance and self assertion—discovering your own direction—coming back to your oriiginal self. 

I give you so much credit for this journey you have taken, leaving the high level narcissists and all others of this ilk.

Parasitic Narcissists Weaken Your Psychological and Physical Immune System

A parasitic narcissist is a merciless taker, feeding off of your emotional and psychological attachment to them, your vulnerability and dependency. They steal your physical and psychological energy and exploit your creative gifts. 

The narcissist puts you in fight or flight mode, the sympathetic nervous system zone which causes oxidative stress. When prolonged it disrupts the endocrine and adrenal systems, can cause extreme exhaustion, chronic insomnia, gut dysbiosis and weakening your immune system.

Over many years of being ruthlessly victimized by the parasitic narcissist you are always exhausted, lack energy and yur self-assertion has diminished with your confidence, your creative gifts lie fallow, you have severe mood shifts, feel depressed and anxious most of the time.  

How to break free from the parasitic narcissist:

Research and stud the origins and psychodynamics of the narcissistic personality. Read my books: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist.

Let go of the shame and doubt that has bound you from childhood through daily practice of self care: sleep, rest, downtime,, using your creative gifts, movement and exercise that works best for you.

Use your inner wisdom and intuition to continually protect yourself from entering into relationships with narcissistic personalities.




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