Tag: Dr. John Huber

Hosted by Dr. John Huber (http://www.mainstreammentalhealth.org)

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Featured guest: Toni Patillo

Topic: Preventing Elder Abuse

Website: ToniPatillo.com

Elder abuse is a topic I’ve discussed many times on webinars, phone conferences, in coaching sessions, while teaching in classrooms and when sitting with real estate clients and their family members.

Personal Story: When the market crashed in 2007, I had to move my mother to Las Vegas to live with her favorite nephew who is a very successful ophthalmologist for the past 40 years there locally. He was recently divorced and living along in a 6,000 square foot home and it was perfect timing for him as he cherished the idea that he could host his favorite aunt in his home for however long we needed. The stipulation with him was that we hire a full-time caregiver, not live-in. Over time as the economy continued to worsen, the full time caregiver we hired finally convinced my mom’s Dr. to let her move into the home and operate as a LIVE-IN. From that point on she began to take ownership of the opportunity and became very controlling with my mother.

My mother was reluctant to tell anyone of what she was experiencing and it wasn’t until much later that we, the family, discovered that she was being abused. It was the doctor that contacted me to share that she felt something was not right. The doctor had been sending messages back to the family that we weren’t receiving. Finally, the doctor contacted me directly with her concerns. I immediately moved her back to LA with me and my sister. My mother was physiologically devastated and was afraid to bother us with this nightmare. She was so grateful for all that we were doing for her well being that she didn’t want to worry us.

This is a very common story through out our country. I have to say that it was just after my mother made her transition that I decided to really plug in to the 50+ market and get connected with all the networking groups so that I could stay on top of these things and potentially help my fellow agents/peers and my clients. Simply put, it affects all of us and like all other social and health problems plaguing our society, it’s much better to be proactive than reactive. With that in mind, today is all about practical things both you and your family members can do to prevent elder abuse.

GET THE WORD OUT
Education is the silver bullet in the fight to prevent elder abuse. Gather as much credible information as possible and communicate with your aging loved ones and any professionals with whom they interact. You might be asking, “why educate the professionals? Don’t they already understand?” Well it’s good for multiple reasons. First, elder abuse may not be part of their every day work concerns or training. Therefore, the professional is ill equipped to effectively recognize when it’s happening. They need and will appreciate the help. Second, it puts on notice any professional who may have had less than pure motives, that you are informed and watching.

BEWARE OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE
Alcohol and prescription drug abuse are more and more common among the elderly. Sometimes an addictive personality is the problem, but more often than not our loved ones are getting addicted to over prescribed drugs for legitimate health issues. This is so dangerous and can cause many internal issues that are hard to see until it’s too late. Also, because the drugs affect cognitive judgment, he or she becomes more vulnerable to other forms of abuse such as financial abuse.

JOIN SUPPORT GROUPS
Did you know that there are probably a dozen support groups in driving distance for aging adults and their families? I’m not kidding; they’re out there. A support group is a great place to get information and make friends who will go out of their way to be available to you and your loved one. Having a sense of community will be of great comfort when the challenges of aging come.

STAY CONNECTED
Social isolation leads to depression and poor decisions. Your loved one will become more vulnerable to scams and may even let abusers into their lives purely out of boredom and loneliness. Keep your aging loved one connected with friends and family. Get them out of the house and engaged with physical activity and hobbies.

KEEP PERSONAL INFORMATION PRIVATE
The aging population is a target for all sorts of identity theft. I’ve literally stopped a house from being stolen right out from under a client’s nose. It’s terrible. Be sure your loved ones are protecting their identity in a every way possible. Here are a few good tips.

· Have them freeze their credit. It’s easy to do and prevents anyone from using their social security number to open new accounts.

· Sign them up for an identity theft protection service such as Life-lock that will alert them when there is a breach.

· Have them post and open their own mail or allow only you to do it for them.

· Warn them against ever giving their personal information over the phone. Criminals have gotten very clever and will be persuasive.

PLAN FOR THE FUTURE
Help your loved ones plan for the future. With a power of attorney or a living will, you both can address health care decisions to avoid confusion and family problems later. Seek independent advice from someone you trust before having them sign any documents.

DON’T LET JUST ANYONE IN THE DOOR
Carefully interview anyone who might be given access to your loved ones home such as a part-time healthcare worker. Don’t be afraid to ask for referrals before any hiring decision is made. Finally, feel free to drop in unannounced to get a more authentic view of what happens on a daily basis.

Featuring Dr. John Huber and Kristin Walker

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Why Sports Parents Sometimes Behave So Badly

They yell at the referees, they yell at their kids, they yell at the opposing team and some even yell at their own team. They are rude, loud and many are aggressive. In a word, they are obnoxious.

Who are they? They are parents behaving badly at their child’s sporting events.

A recent New York Times article with video titled, “Parents Behaving Badly: Youth Sports Crisis Caught on Video,” by Bill Pennington, highlighted some pretty disgusting behavior. In the video, you can see and hear a parent at an eight-year-old youth soccer game hurling obscenities at a referee as he walked to his car. Another video showed a fan screaming obscenities while viciously kicking a ball into a nearby teenage referee.

According to the National Association of Sports Officials, harassment of referees has become so egregious that 70 percent of them quit within three years. Because of this, there is now a sweeping referee shortage.

The Times article describes an effort by Brian Barlow, an Oklahoma youth sports soccer referee, to thwart, embarrass and shame the growing tide of bad behavior by parents, fans and spectators at sports events. He created a Facebook page called “Offside,” which posts videos of their offensive behavior.

According to the article, Barlow, who offers $100 for each clip, said, “I do it to hold people accountable — to identify and call out the small percentage of parents who create a toxic environment in youth sports. It is a very visual deterrent and not just to the person caught on video, but to others who may ask themselves: Do I look like that jerk?”

Further, Barlow also started a program called STOP, which stands for Stop Tormenting Officials Permanently. The program distributes signs to be prominently displayed at youth sports complexes. Other signs include, “Warning: Screaming at Officials Not Allowed,” and “Caution: Development in Progress, Stay Out of It.”

There are now six clubs in Oklahoma who have paid a one-time fee to join the STOP initiative, and over 30 leagues around the country have made inquiries.

Topic: How positive communication techniques help your loved ones recovery

Website: www.FamiliesUnitedforRecovery.com

Speaking Points:
Building on well-researched, science based and gentle models of family recovery using positive communication as mini-interventions, I teach parents to use scripts that include language which creates trust, feelings of empathy and compassion and builds connection with our loved one.

1. Begin with an affirming/connecting statement. ie: “Honey, I’m so glad to see you this morning.” with a warm tone, eye contact and body language. The alternative, not being able to see them due to tragedy, or incarceration, or being homeless makes this statement true, even if you’re angry or upset with them. Say it like you mean it and make it count!

2. Make an appointment. ie: “I would like to discuss what happened last night, when would be convenient/comfortable for you for you?

3. Be Brief – You will lose them if you go on and on. It helps to script your ideas out and practice in front of a mirror or with a partner.

4. State facts, -be specific, no opinions, no labels

5. Be positive/solution focused- Positive means asking for what you want instead of focusing on what you don’t want to. Be supportive and encourage do-able actions instead of being critical and complaining. Being solution focused decreases defensiveness and rebellion and encourages connection and motivation. Instead of, “Stop missing classes”, “Make sure you get to class on time.”

6. Label your feelings – Express your feelings in a way that does not create a negative emotional response in them. There’s a huge difference from saying I am so angry at you and you terrified your younger brother, and I’m really frustrated right now and really worried about what I’m seeing.

7. Offer an understanding statement – Try reflecting back to your child what they have shared with you about their situation so that they feel heard and understood. This builds empathy which decreases shame and helps create connection.

8. Take partial responsibility – Take partial responsibility if possible. This does not mean admitting fault or taking blame but it communicates that we’re also working on ourselves and that were in it with them. It takes the focus off of blaming and shows your child that you’re interested in moving towards solution as a team.

9. Offer to help – Ask them what they think needs to happen next, if they would like help and potentially offer to brainstorm ideas that might be helpful.

These steps help keep Truth on the Table, keep healthy conversation and connection happening. This keeps everyone out of denial about what is happening on a daily basis and when handled in a respectful, kind and loving way can help motivate your loved one to choose to reduce substance use or enter treatment.

Hosts Dr. John Huber & Kristin Walker cover a number top mental health stories.

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Britney Spears Allegedly Entered Mental Health Facility Against Her Will

After a doctor’s visit led to prescribing new pills for the pop star, Spears reportedly refused to take the new medication as well. Her decision led Jamie to make an ultimatum: either she took her prescriptions or he would pull his support from the show.

Featuring Dr. John Huber

Stress Mess: 3 In 5 Millennials Say Life More Stressful Now Than Ever Before

Smartphones and digital technology are supposed to make our lives easier, but for young adults, it seems that things may only be getting tougher — and for a slew of reasons. According to one recent survey, about 3 out of 5 millennials (58%) feel life is more stressful right now than ever before.

In fact, the survey of 2,000 American millennials, commissioned by CBD oil company Endoca, reveals that one-third of millennials believe their lives are more stressful than the average person’s life.

The survey also pointed to numerous causes of the frustration for this young segment. Many feel their overall stress level is caused by the accumulation of daily micro-stressors — seemingly trivial experiences — such as being stuck in traffic, waiting for appointments, or various smartphone issues.

For example, although losing one’s wallet or credit card ranked as the top source of stress for respondents, 1 in 5 say they’d be even more apoplectic if their smartphone screen broke. For more than 2 in 5 millennials (41%), a damaged phone screen is worse than seeing their “check engine” light flash on in the car.

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Slay The Smartphones: ‘Technoference’ Is Making Our Lives More Sluggish, Study Finds

Smartphones are draining the number of hours we sleep, making us less productive, and could even be making some people feel physically worse in general, according to the results of new Australian survey.

Mobile phone use has evolved into a major disruption to the daily lives of millions, if not billions, of adults worldwide.

New research shows 1 in 5 women lose sleep because of the time they spend on their smartphones, versus 1 in 8 men.

Technoference affects more than just our mental state. Respondents were even feeling more aches and pains that they believe are a result of smartphone use. That was the case, at least, for 8.4 percent of women (up from 3 percent) and 7.9 percent of men (up from 1.6 percent).

With Dr. John Huber & Kristin Walker

If you remember how damn hard you worked to get into college and how stressed you were as you waited to see where you would be accepted, then you must certainly have strong feelings about the recent college admissions scandal. Fifty people, including Full House actress Lori Loughlin and Desperate Housewives’ Felicity Huffman, were charged earlier this week in a $25 million bribery scheme to get students into top universities like Yale and Stanford.

The scheme involved cheating on college admissions tests like the SAT and ACT, as well as bribing college athletics coaches to recruit students for their teams—even though the kids weren’t competitive athletes and never intended to play. Some parents paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to facilitate these bribes, and many did so without their children knowing. So that leaves us with one question: Why?

Jussie Smollett Attack: Why Americans Outrage First & Ask Questions Later

Two brothers told police that “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett staged an attack on himself because he was upset a threatening letter he received a week prior did not get enough attention, a law enforcement official briefed on the investigation told ABC News on Monday.Detectives are actively investigating the allegation, but have not confirmed it to be true, the official said.

STORY LINK: https://abc13.com/brothers-claim-jussie-smollett-staged-attack-after-threatening-letter-source-says/5144861/

Dr. Huber’s perspective on the the Jussie Smollett Attack
The Jussie Smollett attack story appears to be the latest instance where millions of Americans quickly react and later realize that there are some glaring red flags that they should have probably noticed prior hand. Why is this happening so frequently? I think it’s because more people today chose to act on their emotional impulse rather than their logical rationale.

In today’s era of social media, some people are competing with others to see something or be outraged by something first – as if it will present them as more enlightened.

In America, we also have individuals who align themselves with certain groups. Within those groups, they act differently than they normally would. When the group is outraged, they immediately become outraged without hesitation.

Critical thinking skills desperately need to make revival in America. Critical thinking allows someone to assess a situation and make a judgment based on logic and historical precedent. Yes utilizing this skill may cause a delay in what you post on social media however, it may also prevent you from being caught up in America’s perpetual outrage mob.

Featured Guest Liz Weston

I’m an award-winning** personal finance columnist, speaker, commentator and author of several books about money. I earned the Certified Financial Planner® designation in 2016.

I write for the personal finance site NerdWallet, and my question-and-answer column “Money Talk” appears in newspapers throughout the country, including the Los Angeles Times, the San Diego Union-Tribune, Palm Beach Post, the Portland Oregonian and others.

My book “Your Credit Score” is a national best-seller now in its fifth edition. The New York Times called one of my other books, “The 10 Commandments of Money: Survive and Thrive in the New Economy,” a “wonderful basic personal finance book…supportive of people struggling to understand these topics and trying to make ends meet.”

You may have heard me on public radio. I contribute to American Public Media’s “Marketplace Money,” and NPR’s “Talk of the Nation” and “All Things Considered.” I’ve appeared “Dr. Phil,” “Today Show” and NBC Nightly News, and was for several years a weekly commentator on CNBC’s “Power Lunch.”

Footnotes:
*My mistakes include buying retirement property at age 26. In Alaska. Eighty miles from the nearest road. I still have it, if anyone wants to make an offer.

**My awards include:

The Betty Furness Consumer Media Award (2010) by the Consumer Federation of America, designed to honor individuals who have made “exceptional progress in American consumerism.”
A Clarion Award (2007) for my MSN Money series on financial benchmarks. The columns also won several awards from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers, including a 2008 “Best in Business” honor.
A team Pulitzer Prize for Meritorious Public Service (1989) for coverage of the alcoholism epidemic among native Alaskans. My article on fetal alcohol syndrome led the coverage on Day 3 of the 10-day series.
A team Gerald Loeb Award (1997) for coverage of the Comparator Systems penny stock scandal.

Featured Guest: Gary Jeff Walker is one of the gifted radio personalities on radio today.

42% of Americans Now Think A Second U.S. Civil War Is Likely Soon

•Most voters fear that political violence is coming from opponents of the president’s policies, just as they did in the second year of Barack Obama’s presidency, and nearly one-in-three think a civil war is next.

•Thirty-one percent (31%) of Likely U.S. Voters say it’s likely that the United States will experience a second civil war sometime in the next five years, with 11% who say it’s Very Likely. A Rasmussen Reports national telephone and online survey finds that 59% consider a second civil war unlikely, but that includes only 29% who say it’s Not At All Likely.

Sample Questions

Why do you think that a surprising number of Americans believe that a second Civil War will occur?

If you were to do a mental health analysis on America today compared to twenty or thirty years ago, what would you results likely be?

Do you think that despite substantial political differences that most people in the US get along peacefully?

New York Times Best-Selling Author & Emmy-Award Winning TV Journalist Mary Pfum

Mary Pflum Peterson is a multi-Emmy-Award-winning television journalist … a New York Times bestselling author … and an acclaimed public speaker.

Mary began her career in journalism at the CNN-New York Bureau at age 20, while still an undergraduate at Columbia University. By age 21, she was conducting her first big interviews with political leaders the likes of Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich. By age 23, she was reporting on-camera around the nation for CNN and filling in as an anchor on CNN Newsroom.

Mary went on report internationally, covering everything from Vienna balls to Maltese temples – but calls the time she spent living and working for CNN in Turkey from 1999 to 2002 as the most formative period of her journalism career.

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WHITE DRESSES:
A Memoir of Love and Secrets, Mothers and Daughters
New York Times Bestseller

In this riveting, poignant memoir of three generations of women and the white dresses that adorned them—television producer Mary Pflum Peterson recounts a journey through loss and redemption, and her battle to rescue her mother, a former nun, from compulsive hoarding.

As a successful television journalist at Good Morning America, Mary Pflum is known as a polished and highly organized producer. It’s a persona at odds with her tortured childhood, where she watched her emotionally vulnerable mother fill their house with teetering piles of assorted “treasures.” But one thing has always united mother and daughter—their love of white dresses. From the dress worn by Mary’s mother when she became a nun and married Jesus, to the wedding gown she donned years later, to the special nightshirts she gifted Mary after the birth of her children, to graduation dresses and christening gowns, these white dresses embodied hope and new beginnings.