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THE FAWNING RESPONSE

Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder–which many people who have been abused in many ways do, you may recognize that you actually respond to conflict with The Fawning Response. This term was created by therapist and abuse survivor Pete Walker in his book “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It’s a coping mechanisem, a poor one, used in an attempt to create safety in our relationships with others to garner their approval and meet their expectations. As I said, it’s not a good one. It’s unhealthy and damaging to yourself. Hence, self-abandonment! You give and give and give in toxic relationships and it’s never enough, right? Hijackals always want more. Even if they tell you exactly what they want from you, when you give that exact thing to them, they want something different. Overtime, over-giving becomes a habit, and so does fawning. It’s exhausting. One thing people who have experienced trauma don’t want? More trauma. The fawning response is an attempt to prevent more trauma. IT DOESN’T WORK, but you’re ever hopeful it will keep you out of the spotlight and out of hot water. Listen in and recognize The Fawming Response in action. If it sounds familiar, take it to heart and choose to make a change. You may think it’s keeping you safe, but it actually is not. You’re losing yourself, and that’s not a good thing at all! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What The Fawning Response isHow it shows upWhy it shows up and becomes a habitSeven ways you abandon yourself when you choose the fawning responseWhy its important to see the fawning response and give it up If you recognize that the Fawning Response is something you want to address,  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.———————————————————————-#FAWNINGRESPONSE #fightflightfreezefawn #madepeoplefeelcomfortable #putyourselflast #otherpeoplemoreimportant #makingmyselfinvisible #pleasingothers #fawningtraumaresponse #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You No Longer are the High Level Narcissist's Beast of Burden

A beast of burden is defined as an animal who caries heavy loads or must do very hard work. 

High level narcissists often put their children, spouses, ex-spouses, family members in the role of servants.

The high level narcissist is imperious. He/she is the ruler in every relationship. Children of narcissists are at the mercy, whim, impulse, psychopathology of their highly disturbed parents. Being raised by a high level narcissistic parent, the child has no real support, validation, emotional closeness, feeling of security or protection or sense of entitlement (unless he is the golden child and adored. 

Children growing up with a high level narcissistic parent describe that they felt like prisoners in their own homes. 

The high level narcissistic parent is highly demanding of what he or she wants and must have. Nothing is ever good enough for the narcissistic parent. 

The child of a narcissistic parent is likely to marry a narcissist, repeated the psychological pattern of abuse.

The high level narcissistic spouse is impossible–making outrageous demands, throwing criticisms right and left, making the partner feel unworthy and defective. 

Some high level narcissistic spouses keep their human beats of burden. 

Those married to high level narcissists can awaken to the truth that they have been the victims of narcissistic abuse, move forward along their own pathways of restoration, renewal, transformation and the full use of your creative original self. They are human beasts of burden no longer. You belong to your unique self, use your creativity fully and deeply.

Practice self care each day: sleep, rest, listen to beautiful music, movement and exercise that works for you, good nourishment and hydration, a form of mindfulness. that you discover, the gifts of Nature, the use and richness of your unique creativity. 

 

 

Empaths – Beware of Predatory Narcissists

Predatory narcissists are beautifully packaged, have great social skills, charisma, mirror you and make you feel special.

Sequence of predatory narcissists in controlling you:

Engage you and show great interest in you, very friendly.

Activate the relationship

Exploit you completely – taking your time, energy, your creative gifts, making constant demands, wearing you out, humiliating you.

They will reactivate this relationship and re-exploit you many times over years and decades. 

Eventually the narcissist will discard you with a newer, compliant model. You are not an individual to them. You are a commodity they use to feed their egos and fulfill their outrageous goals. 

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High Level Narcissists – Ultimate Takers, Dissemblers

High level narcissists are dissemblers, filled with patterns of deceit and corruption. They conceal the truth from you at every turn. As the partner, spouse or child of a high level narcissist, you can only expect lies and purposeful obfuscations from these individuals. 

Some of the things that the high level takes from you:

Your inner peace and sense of solitude.

Eclipse the amount of time that you can spend in the calming restorative parasympathetic body/mind systems where you experience healing and transformation.

Making continuous demands for keeping their fragile egos inflated with constant praise, adulation, obedience, unlimited attention, gratitude, veneration. 

High level narcissists are dissemblers who despise the truth. Constructing elaborate lies and obfuscations are the methods that they use to continue to rise up to their over the top positions of power and influence. 

High levels put untold pressures on you to compromise your well developed conscience. 

High level narcissists are envious of your creative gifts. Sometimes they lift your original concepts and exploit them for their own purposes. 

High levels wear you down with multiple humiliations that they know will compromise you psychologically and emotionally. 

Ultimately you can never be your true self partnered with a high level narcissist. They are incapable of developing meaningful, empathic, loving relationships. 

At a point of deep insight you decide to move forward as an independent, free, creative, grounded person, steeped in your own wisdom, psychological stamina unique individuality. 

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ARE YOU ABANDONING YOURSELF BY ENABLING OR CODEPENDENCE?

It is essential to recognize when you are abandoning yourself. You may think it’s part of being a good person. It’s a delicate balance, for sure. How do you re-establish that balance if you have become an enabler, or are codependent?  Listening to this episode is a very good start! At the extreme, you abandon yourself when you totally accommodate another person’s needs and wants even when those needs, wants–and, even demands–are outrageous! Most people don’t go that far, and yet they abandon themselves. Understanding what it is to be enabling another, or codependent on another, highlights ways in which you abandon yourself. Believe me, it’s not worth it! And, you may think there will be a payoff for doing it somewhere down the yellow brick road. No! No! Because people take advantage of enablers and co-dependents, and walk on them. Sad, but true! Have you ever given up your dreams, hopes, interests, and aspirations in order for someone to be interested in you, like you, or hopefully love you? That’s a big sign of self-abandonment. And, only one of about twenty I share with you in this episode. Some are subtle and only you know they are happening within you. Others are more obvious and public. No, you don’t want those, either! ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:My practical definitions of self-abandonment, enabling, and codependenceSo many ways to recognize how you may be abandoning yourself in many circumstancesHow self-abandonment is part and parcel of enabling and codependence…and whyFour key strategies for overcoming self-abandonmentHow to create emotional balance so that you can create more balanced relationships with my BIG three! Do you recognize ways in which you’ve been abandoning yourself?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.———————————————————————-#abandonyourself #abandoningyourself #codependence #enabling #beinganenabler #losingyourselfinaguy #losingyourselfinagirl #givingtoomuch #endingperfectionism #emotionalabuserecovery #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

For Empaths – Learning to Trust Yourself and Others

The beginnings of trust occur very early in a child’s life. The baby, especially the empath, senses whether he/she can depend on his/her mother or father to feel safe, secure, valued, psychologically grounded.

With a narcissistic mother you treaded lightly, always waiting for her to blow like a bubbling volcano. 

You took on the burden of your parents’ core psychological issues and tried to solve their problems so that you could have a real family. You were the fixer and the little child grownup. 

There comes a time of clarity when you recognize that you can no longer play the role of family fixer. 

This is your moment of independence, self care and transformation. 

Keep company with yourself; get to know and appreciate who you are as an individual. This is a time of solitude and resfulness. 

Trust your deep intuition. 

Rest, rest, rest. 

Movement and exercise that works for you.

Listen to restorative beautiful music. Spend time with Nature. 

Good nutrition and hydration.  

Activate and honor your creativity.

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HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M READY TO DATE AFTER A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?

8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse. that you need to consider even if you don’t want to and just want to go get the love, fun, attention, and validation you’ve been missing. What if you skip them? It could be a disaster.You may be anxious to date, or you may be scared spitless! Or, sometimes ready and sometimes sure you’ll never be! That’s how uncertain you can feel once a Hijackal is in your rear view mirror. Does it sound familiar? Even if you’re still with a Hijackal, you may be wondering about life beyond that relationship. Listen in to understand the best things to consider before you hit the dating scene. Maybe, you have a friend who’s newly single. Invite her or him to listen in because most divorces are fraught will many of the same issues leaving Hijackals present. Yes, you might be wishing I was going to say, “Leap! Enjoy! Have fun!” I want that for you, however, not until you’re well-prepared. You want to be successful, to see and avoid all red flags, right? That means being wise, slowing down, and thinking about a few things first. Yep! Sorry. It takes time. You might hope that dating will be a distraction.. Actually, it is more likely to be a disaster if you haven’t attended to the 8 Essential Factors in the broadcast. You could even find yourself hooked to another Hijackal! Oops! Recovery itself takes a lot of things Far more than these 8 Factors. That’s why I call them the ESSENTIAL ones. These are the MUST-DO ones that you are wise to have spent time with in your plan BEFORE DATING! Please listen. ?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Be emotionally prepared for datingFollow the 8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse…at a minimum!Why you don’t want to use dating as a distraction from the pain of emotional abuseWhy you are not wise to jump into dating to feel better about yourselfA great analogy about wounds and scars to keep in mind Are you wanting help to heal in the most direct way after the emotional abuse of a toxic relationship?  I’m here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community Only $19 a month.———————————————————————-#datingafteremotionalabuse #datingafteranarcissist #amireadytodate #howdoiknowimreadytodateafteranarcissist #healingafteranarcissist #emotionalabuserecovery #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Special Messages for Empaths in Days of Chaos

Some days empaths don’t get much done. They are criticized for not being productive. Empaths are unique in their high sensitivity and keen perceptions and intuitions. 

Empaths are considered very strange by most people. 

Empaths go through periods of insomnia and sometimes it’s chronic. If you can’t sleep, rest and be patient with yourself. Practice diaphragmatic breathing. 

Eat organic food if possible, hydrate with pure water. Listen to beautiful music.  Move and exercise.  

Embrace your individuality as an empath. 

BEING TOO NICE IS WHY TOXIC PEOPLE Think They CAN ABUSE YOU

Many of us have been programmed to deny the self for the sake of others happiness, leading to codependency, selflessness, hopelessness, a lack of self love and things like depression. The more selfless we are, the more toxic people think they can abuse us. In this episode, Life Coach Lisa A. Romano helps you understand why you need to stop being so nice. Online Codependency Recovery Program https://www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp YouTube Channel http://bit.ly/32zOvUh Instagram @lisaaromano Contact support.coach@lisaaromano.co Facebook Support Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/adultchildrenofalcoholics/

RECLAIMING YOUR BODY AFTER AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GUEST: Anna-Thea

For many women–and men, too, restoring a feeling of safety to enjoy sexual intimacy seems a long way off. Anna-Thea share invaluable insights for regaining that sense of safety. Trust, too, can be a big issue. In fact, letting a new person into your life at all can cause concern. That’s natural. You are wise to take care of yourself. Today’s insights in this episode can help so much! You want to attract a healthier partner this time, I know. It’s SO important that you feel safe to establish sexual intimacy, and that means establishing emotional intimacy first! Sure, sex can be exciting just for it’s own sake. It’s not usually a good way to begin a relationship, though, if you’re hoping for a long0term relationship. Yes, I know, there is often a feeling of pressure to be intimate in many early relationships. Resist the urge to have sex until you actually feel emotionally safe with someone! Does that seem do-able and/or wise? Today, Anna-Thea and I talk about why we have to redefine love in order to see healthier pathways to create and experience it. You can have great sex with someone and never be able to talk about your feelings, for instance. Is that a good thing for you? Not likely if you’re hoping to have a healthy relationship with a partner in life! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why we have to redefine loveWhat makes the Feminine special and SacredHow attracting a healthy person requires being healthy yourselfWhy your body is not a “negotiation”Where the meeting place between safety and vulnerability is Do you need help to make the shift to consider a new relationship after leaving an emotionally abusive one? We can talk. warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: ANNA-THEAAnna-Thea educates women to connect to the power and sacredness of their feminine side – certified from the Divine Feminine Institute as a Divine Feminine Educator and Spiritual Sexual Educator. Graduating with honors with a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition, she also holds a double certification in yoga and taught yoga for many years. She now focuses her attention on Divine Feminine Education. Her book “Empower Yourself by Loving Your Body” offers powerful insights for women.FREE GIFT FROM ANNA-THEA:Enjoy Anna-Thea’s Love Quiz here: https://annathea.org/love-testCONTACT ANNA-THEAWebsite: https://annathea.orgPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-thea-fabricius-4b16bb7Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/annatheafabInstagram https://www.instagram.com/divinefeminine.educatorTwitterhttps://twitter.com/theannatheaYouTube:——————————————————————————————————————————–Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. When you like my pages, or subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the notification bell, you’ll hear about each Monday’s livestream where you can join in and ask questions, too. FOLLOW DR. SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCASThttp://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOKhttps://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTERhttps://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDINhttps://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAMhttps://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTERESThttps://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler————————————————————-I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle———————————————————————-#reclaimingyourbodyafterabuse #intimacyafteremotionalabuse #intimacyafterphysical abuse #intimacyaftersexualabuse #comfortablewithsex #comfortablewithyourbody #recoveringtoenjoysexafterabuse #recoveringafterabuse #annathea #empoweryourselfbylovingyourbody#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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