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Mark Wolynn: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are – TPS426

Mark Wolynn is the director of the Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco. He is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. His book It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (published by Viking/Penguin) is the winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in psychology and has been translated into 19 languages. His articles have appeared in Psychology Today, Mind Body Green, MariaShriver.com, Elephant Journal, and Psych Central, and his poetry has been published in The New Yorker.

Highlights

Mark explains what Family Trauma is.
When trauma is unresolved it can pass on to future generations.
Many of us live with medical mysteries that need deeper examination.
Our sense of not having enough can hark back to not getting enough attention from our mother in early life.
If the mother has a previous difficult pregnancy or miscarriage, or any difficult life experience during pregnancy, that will affect the child’s experience as a fetus.
Instead of blaming your parents because you are, in some way, screwed up, find out what trauma they experienced that allowed them to treat you the way they did.
There’s a long list of questions about their parents that Mark asks his clients.
Although early memories may not be available to us, they still affect us.
By understanding what your parents went through, it makes it easier to forgive your parents. We can then let go of whatever anger we are holding on to.
Mark helps people get out of the stress response so they can have new, more pleasant experiences and build new neural pathways while overcoming the stress response.
Mark mentions some of the techniques he uses and how he helps people become “trauma detectives”.
Trauma in our family history can determine how success does or does not flow to us.
Because of Covid, we have the chance to look inside and work through past traumas.
What’s your worst fear? It time to look at this.
When traumas are not talked about, that’s what leads to repeating the pattern.

Links
Mark’s Book: It Didn’t Start with You

Mark’s Site – www.MarkWolynn.com

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/MarkWolynn/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markwolynn/

The Importance of Becoming Emotionally Aware – TPS425

In this episode, I talk about the importance of getting in touch with your emotions and how you have choices about how you want to respond to life experiences. I also talk about the connection between emotions and health.

Highlights

We can decide to stay in fear or to learn how to mollify our fear.
People are beginning to see that there is more to us and our world than what is obvious in our three-dimensional world.
If we could tap into our existence outside of three-dimensional reality, we will feel more comfortable and connected.
Emotions affect your life stories and your health. I talk about the connection between emotions and health.
The USA is not a healthy nation and it’s partially because we haven’t learned how to express our emotions.
I talk about the feelings of being unheard, unseen, and unappreciated. These emotions start in early childhood.
Chronic disease is often caused by unexpressed emotions.
Doctors often don’t understand the emotional connection to disease.
Your unique combination of emotions is the song you sing.
There’s a huge amount of fear now because of the uncertainty.
You can’t just stop fear. You have to do something else instead.
You don’t have control of the virus, but you do have control of your behavior.
Our choices need to go beyond our own self-interest.
Allowing myself to feel my feelings helps me feel more connected
We are all more powerful than we realize.

Links
It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

The Fisher-Wallace Stimulator

Interview with Chip Fisher

Jen Coken: Imposter Syndrome: How to Recognize and Deal with It – TPS424

Jen Coken is the executive coach for Badass Boss Ladies who are ready to smash obstacles, jump over hurdles, and grab snarling dogs by the ears. For twenty years she’s been beating down BS with a velvet sledgehammer tasseled with humor. She is also an international speaker and best-selling author. When she isn’t doing all of that, you can find her performing stand-up comedy or eating Nutella by the spoonful in the nearest grocery aisle.

Highlights

Jen tells us how her comedy emerged from experiences as a child.
Jen’s focus is on helping people deal with what’s called Imposter Syndrome.
We talk about Imposter Syndrome – what it is and how it presents itself.
Women often learn to be number two, although this wasn’t Jen’s experience.
Jen’s mission is to empower others to fulfill their missions.
The problem comes from comparing ourselves to others. Also, working all of the time (Superwomen or Superman complex)
Because people with the syndrome often think they don’t belong, they are constantly trying to overcompensate.
Jen talks about the different manifestations of imposter syndrome and the techniques she uses to help people deal with imposter syndrome.
Calling it imposter syndrome allows us to better understand why we do what we do so we can deal with it.
Rather than calling it a syndrome, call it a phenomenon. That way, you aren’t saying there’s something wrong with you.
Feeling like an imposter happens any time you doubt yourself.
Jen tells us how to recognize the reactive emotions that show up and what triggered those emotions.
She also discusses how she helps people develop new habitual responses.

Links
Go to www.jencokenquiz.com to take a quiz to find out if you have a problem with imposter syndrome.

Valerie Young’s book: The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It

Meagan Fettes: Early Exposure to Principles of Spirituality and Self-Growth Shaped Her Life – TPS423

Meagan Fettes is an unusual young woman who, at an early age, learned profound lessons from her grandmother. In this episode, she shares some of what she learned. Meagan is a Best Selling author, Speaker, Creator of RISE Yoga School, RISE Entrepreneur Center and Entrepreneur Fit and featured thought leader in the movie How Thoughts Become Things. Meagan is known for teaching world-wide tools that Entrepreneurs can use to access greater abundance and success in their lives.

Highlights

Meagan shares her interesting and unusual journey and her relationship with her grandmother that taught her the basis of the principles she teaches today.
What she learned caused her to feel like an outsider, which drove her to drugs and alcohol.
It’s sometimes the darkest moments that lead us to our truth.
Meagan teaches yoga teachers how to teach yoga.
Yoga allows you to build self-awareness and body-awareness.
People often focus on things they have no control of.
Stillness actually creates momentum.
People are afraid to sit still because of fear and lack of trust.
After Meagan’s grandfather had a near death experience, his tales of what he saw on the other side set her grandmother off on an unusual self-development path many years before it was popular.
We talk about the spaces in between that we often ignore.
Meagan shares how she starts people moving towards awareness.
I ask Meagan if she has hope for the future.
The current COVID-19 situation is bringing up a lot of emotions that people need to deal with.
We are all of a choice point.
People are afraid to feel their pain because they’re afraid they will never get rid of it.
Define how you want to feel.

Links
Megan’s site: www.MeaganFettes.com

Aaron McCormick: How Inner Awareness Leads to Greater Achievements – TPS422

Aaron McCormick was raised in poverty on the south side of Chicago by a single mother with no education and a father who was likely an undiagnosed bipolar schizophrenic. Tightly controlled by an extreme fundamentalist religion that allowed no personal freedom, Aaron ultimately defied expectations of failure. In his early twenties, despite being a minority with no college degree Aaron became a leading seven-figure-earning corporate sales executive and entrepreneur who earned an MBA. How he managed to rise above his difficult beginnings is unveiled in his book Unbounded – Journey to Your Within where he shares suggestions with the reader for following an inner path to an unbounded life.
Highlights

I ask Aaron what he thinks it was that allowed him to rise above his beginnings.
People are born with certain gifts. The task is to have the gifts identified and nurtured.
Problem-solving skills come from being more introspective and asking the why question.
Aaron talks about how to find your Why.
What you’ve gone through is what has led you to where you are. Appreciate your journey.
Current events are emotionally triggering, causing fear and anxiety. Because a lot of distractions have been removed, we get to look within and deal with our own darkness and get beyond the fear.
Aaron talks about how humanity’s group darkness of the soul will lead to positive changes.
Aaron shares how people can get past money fears.
I ask Aaron if he thinks we are going to experience real change regarding the treatment of minorities.
Growing up, Aaron did not have anger about how blacks were treated. He sees that if you expect to be treated unfairly, you will be.
Loving yourself as you are allows you to assume others will also treat you well.
Everything about you is exactly as it should be.

Links
Aaron’s site: www.AaronMcCormick.com

Instagram: @theaaronmccormick

Letting Go Is Essential for Moving Forward – TPS421

In today’s episode, I talk about why, if you want to move forward, it’s important to create space for you to grow and expand as a person and in business. I share the process I’ve been going through and make some suggestions.
Highlights

I share about the process I have been going through and how wonderful it feels.
Feels like I’m moving into something new.
Now, when I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, instead of processing feelings, I’m having wonderful memories from childhood.
To let go so you can experience freedom, you have to take action internally and externally so you can learn to feel free.
What are the beliefs that you are holding on to such as success requires that you work hard?
Changing the software I’ve been using for my marketing is helping me see my business from a new point of view.
The Synchronicity Marketing Method is where you listen to your intuition and have the faith that everything you need will show up.
I’ve also been letting go of behavior that hasn’t been serving me, such as making impulsive decisions.
Making big changes takes a major commitment to yourself.
No matter how much you let go, there’s always more.
Part of letting go is not having to know what comes next.
Our lives are just a series of choices.
When you do something that stretches you, and you have to let go of the fear.
Do something that you think you can’t do.

Links
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David Wood: Tough Conversations About Money and Race –TPS420

David Wood is a high-performance coach for executives, entrepreneurs, and teams and the author of “Get Paid For Who You Are.” He was nominated to the Transformational Leadership Council alongside such thought leaders as Don Miguel Ruiz, John Gray, and Marianne Williamson. David believes the tough conversations we avoid are our doorways to confidence, success, and even love – in both work and life. In this episode, we talk about having tough conversations about money and race.

Highlights:

David tells us how he decided to focus on tough conversations when he worked in corporate and eventually learned about things like emotional intelligence and other personal growth techniques.
When conversations are looming, we tend to avoid them.
With the CARE model David uses, the first step is to ask, “What is your hope for this conversation, what is your fear?”
I ask David what keeps people from talking about money. I use an example of when a husband racks of credit card charges but is afraid to tell his wife. He shows us how to use the CARE model in this case.
There is often a fear of loss.
We spend time talking about difficult conversations about race relations.
David shares his position as a privileged white male and what he has to do in order to have the race conversation.
It’s only in the past few weeks that David has been developing awareness about what goes on for blacks.
David is trying to understand his own whiteness, privilege, and unconscious bias.

Links:
Get the CARE worksheet on David’s site: www.playforreal.life where there is also information about his coaching.

Bob Doyle: To Have What You Want, Decide Who You Want To Be – TPS419

Bob Doyle is the facilitator of the “Wealth Beyond Reason” program and one of the featured teachers in the film and book “The Secret”.  Since 2002, his primary focus has been on teaching the practical implementation of Law of Attraction principles, and moving people past the blocks that keep them from living a life of purpose, passion, and true abundance. He is also part of the new film ‘How Thoughts Become Things.’

Highlights

Our inability to express ourselves creatively is at the root of a lot of our problems.
After many of his attempts at a career failed, Bob became interested in metaphysics and the Law of Attraction and came to understand how our thoughts affect our outer results.
The most important thing is to determine who you want to be in the vision you hold.
Bob shares the fascinating story of how he became the teacher he is today.
A lot came out from The Secret about the Law of Attraction that complicated things and confused people.
Feelings cause the vibration that leads to creation.
We have choices as to how we want to feel, but we don’t know it.
During an upset, get into the observer mode.
We talk about “The Universe” and your relation to it.
Bob talks about what he went through to learn about taking care of his business and money.
Start by deciding who you want to be for now.
Pay attention to where you aren’t satisfied.
It takes time to go from where you are to where you want to be.
If you want to use the Law of Attraction for solving problems it will keep you stuck in the problem.
Having the belief that everything has to be hard keeps you stuck.
The most important thing is for you to decide who you want to be.

Links
Bob’s site: www.MeetBobDoyle.com

How Thoughts Become Things – The movie

Negative Thinking Can Injure Your Brain – TPS418

I read an article this week in Neuroscience News about how Repetitive Negative Thinking (RNT) can lead to cognitive decline and the buildup of proteins associated with Alzheimer’s. In this episode, I talk about how to eliminate negative self-talk and thinking with brain training in order to prevent loss of cognitive function.

Highlights

A lot of physical and mental problems that come with aging can be prevented.
Although the study cited in Neuroscience News was done with people 55 and older, no matter what your age, it’s important to prevent problems as you age.
Negative thinking patterns are habits. I talk about how they start as protective measures and because the way brains are wired.
Hypervigilance is a common result of difficult childhood experiences.
The trick is to recognize your patterns and make a commitment to changing them.
Start by recognizing when you use the word should. Then take a deep breath and use a positive statement such as You’re doing fine.
Lead with love.
You can create a benevolent mother or father in your mind who reparents you.
What if what we imagine is going to happen is what is going to happen.
Meditation can help you recognize what’s going on in your mind.
The more positive my thinking becomes, the more positive things happen for me.
If you stop being angry, that doesn’t mean you have to stop working for positive
sociental change.
Anger can be transmuted into a positive force.

Links
The Adverse Childhood Experience Test

Tina Greenbaum: How to Deal with Anxiety and Uncertainty – TPS417

Tina Greenbaum works with executives who want to increase their performance level in high stakes, high-pressure situations. An Optimal Performance Specialist and Sports Psychology Consultant, Tina’s signature program, Mastery Under Pressure empowers leaders and their teams using cutting-edge technology, neuroscience, energy psychology, sports psychology, and current learning theory.
Highlights

Tina is a trained psychotherapist who intuitively knew that there was a better way of treating eating disorders.
She now focuses on anxiety, teaching people how to train the mind to overcome its reaction to perceived danger.
If you practice deep diaphragmatic breathing, when you are in a difficult situation, the deep breathing will happen naturally.
If you have a lot of worrying thoughts, ask, “Do my thoughts produce something useful for me?”
Stress comes when you seem to be out of control.
People under stress don’t see their options.
When you feel you don’t have control, ask, “What can I do now?”
When we live in the past or future, we need to get back to the present.
The issues of those in higher positions have different kinds of problems to solve and they still have to manage their anxiety.
Good leaders have faith they can find answers to their problems.
Resilient people have a specific language they use. Tina gives us examples.
People get used to their comfort zone and have to learn to tolerate the uncertainty that comes with change.
Tina offers suggestions for dealing with uncertainty.
The challenge is living in a state of curiosity.
It’s important to understand why you can’t get instant results. Tina explains.
Meditation quiets the amygdala and builds new connections to the prefrontal cortex, which helps you make better decisions.
If you want to change anything in your life, you have to change yourself.
The secret lies not in what you are doing but in who you are being.

Links:
Tina’s site: www.TinaGreenbaum.com

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