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How Hijackals Succeed at Emotional Blackmail

Hijackals are good at emotional blackmail. They are experts at the “Gotcha!” And, they constantly use it to their advantage. Learn more about the components of that blackmail and how to counteract them. Then, Hijackals fail to succeed at using it against you effectively!Learn what you can do to respond in empowering ways when narcissistic, borderline, or anti-social folks try to control you using emotional blackmail. This episode will help you understand how that emotional blackmail shows up, what its desired result is, and how to say no to it. Healthier people aren’t looking to control you. They care what you want, think, feel, and need. Hijackals don’t. So, you need strategies for working within yourself and with the Hijackal to stop the emotional blackmail. Emotional blackmail according to Dr. Susan Forward: “when people close to us threaten, directly or indirectly punish us, when we don’t do what they want.” Does that sound familiar? You can stop it. Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:The connection between blackmail and emotional blackmailDr. Susan Forward’s book, Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate YouHow a pattern of emotional blackmail is established and maintainedBetter strategies than compliance when a narcissistic person uses emotional blackmailResponding to emotional blackmail purposefully to emerge empoweredWant strategies and support to withstand emotional blackmail.  I’m here to help.Let’s talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community #narcissistblackmail #narcissisticblackmail #hijackalemotionalblackmail #emotionalblackmail #endingemotionalblackmail #nomoreemotionalblackmail#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Marriage to High Level Narcissist – From Dream Come True to Nightmare Scenario

You were chosen by the high level narcissist because you fit his/her specifications as the perfect partner.  You are bright, socially savvy, quite attractive, magnetic, empathic. You shimmer inside and out. You make people feel comfortable; they trust you. 

The early years were inspired by a kind of beautiful scent, a magic elixir. You found the high level enchanting and compelling. Bright, very attractive, in command of himself and others, you said Yes to tis irresistible promise of having your dreams and wishes fulfilled. 

When you look back now you remember the clues, the signs, the giveaways that were telling you that this person was disingenuous, a gifted liar, a double dealer, an unrepentant manipulator and exploiter. 

Now after many years of psychological and emotional abuse, too many ugly wrenching scenes, abandonment, you are coming to a point of decision.

Each day you feel a bit more tired, dragging yourself around, forcing yourself by will and guilt to perform in your work and personal life. 

Your body is lethargic and heavy feeling; your energy is sapped, your thoughts are gloomy even morose, an endless loop. At night you dread the sleep that will not come. And when it does you are subject to horrific nightmares.

You are being contacted by your deepest self, making every effort to get your attention through powerful dream images… Dreams are messengers from the unconscious, the fountain of wisdom

This is a time of awakening a time for you to practice self regard and the care of your psychological, emotional, physical and spiritual health. 

Get the rest and sleep that you need. If you have problems sleeping, rest. Be unjudgmental about any difficulty sleeping. Resting is a powerful way to relaxation, calmness, acceptance and love for self, good nutrition, quality hydration, movement and exercise, stretching, basic yoga poses, walking, dancing, Nature, expanding your creativity in every form it takes for you. A spiritual practice, meditation and prayer the way you define this. Be unjudgmental and kind with yourself.

You feel the power and energy of your authentic original self as you move forward along your unique pathways. 

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Reading the Shifting Scary Eyes of Hijackals As They Try to Control You

Yes, Hijackal’s eyes are not the windows to their souls as much as windows into their fears and desires to control. It’s real. You’re not imagining it. You can feel safer with the insights in this episode.Research shows that humans notice faces first. Generally, that is what attracts us. Eyes tell you so much, if you interpret their messages accurately. When dealing with Hijackals–narcissistic, borderline, anti-social, and histrionic folks, you MUST get the messages clearly or you’ll be damaged, emotionally, if not physically. That’s why this episode is particularly important. Healthy people want to read healthier things into peoples’ expressions. You must not do that when you’re with Hijackals. You have to believe what is written on their faces or you will be in trouble. Misinterpreting the messages in their eyes can be dangerous. Not believing those messages? More dangerous. Rage eyes. Vacant eyes, Dead eyes, Black Eyes, Psychopathic Stares. Do you know the difference? Do you know what they indicate? Do you know how to keep yourself safer? Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:The different ways narcissistic and psychopathic people look at youWhy it it important to recognize what a narcissist wants most from you5 different ways people with narcissistic, borderline, and anti-social tendencies look at you (None of them good!)How to respond to the different warnings in their eyes effectivelyDo you know you want to feel safer when Hijackal eyes burn a hole in you?  I’m here to help.Let’s talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community #eyesofnarcissist #eyesofhijackals #deadcoldeyes #rageeyes #vacanteyes #predatorystare #psychopathstare #scaryeyesofnarcissist #coldhardpsychopath #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequestSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

High Level Narcissists – Their Insatiable Greed and Manipulations

Human greed has been with us for tens of thousands of years.  Greed is one of the great sins – the relentless pursuit of money, properties, luxurious possessions and the dark manipulations that are part of this game of pursuing more. Greedy high level narcissists are highly manipulative. With their obsessive need for more they plot and plan how they will exploit others, including their spouses, ex-spouses, relatives, children, “friends”, business associates.

When the high level’s greed leads to tremendous financial success, this individual feels special and over entitled. He looks down on those who have not achieved his level of success. At the same time he burns with envy at those who have more money, wield raw power and material acquisitions. 

Male and female high level narcissists pursue partners and prospective spouses who are well connected socioeconomically. 

Many are enraptured by the high level narcissist and captivated, they partner with and marry these high climbers. Sometimes the partner has no idea that he or she is being manipulated and exploited. For the narcissistic personality what belongs to you us theirs. 

For the high level narcissist you are a commodity and resource that makes him very rich. You are interchangeable with others. If you don’t bring it forward he will easily find someone else. For the high level greedy narcissist, everyone is expendable. 

If you are partnered or married to a greedy high level narcissist there is a time of reckoning of becoming awakened to the true nature of the narcissistic personality. You can no longer be exposed to their psychological and moral toxicity. You are exhausted from their taking advantage of you, financially, psychologically, emotionally, creatively and spiritually. 

You stand firmly grounded in your individual wisdom and insight. Now you move forward along the pathways of the healing and restorative parasympathetic of self care, the fruits of your unique creativity, the beauty of your self expression, spontaneity, solitude of inner peace. Give yourself tremendous credit for this journey you are making. And always listen to your intuition, a divine gift. 

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High Level Narcissists – Devious Exploiters

Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: “A…high level…narcissist doesn’t waste time on those who cannot perform for him/her. By seduction or guile he draws to himself those who will feed his constant need for power and admiration…The narcissistic personality values himself alone.”

“”The high level is finished with you and dispatches you to the hinterlands of obscurity and anonymity. You’re faded, worn and exhausted and as a result the high level narcissist has neither time nor money nor attention for you. The high level doesn’t run with those who are truly humble, good, true, fair or pure of heart.”

Now you know the true nature of the high level narcissist. You are doing the research and very important, you have the clear discernment and insight to know and appreciate exactly who you are. Reflect on your unique individuality, your fine developed conscience, your mental clarity, your high intuition that speaks the truth. Practice self care each day. 

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Your Extreme Fatigue – Exacerbated by High Level Narcissist

Spouses and partners of high level narcissists are constantly under extreme stress. As a result of many years or even decades of marriage to one of these demanding, demeaning, manipulative individuals, they suffer from a variety of symptoms. Many complain of different kinds of chronic fatigue and exhaustion. 

When you are married to or partnered with a high level, constant outrageous demands are being made on you. If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, you were never at ease. There were no moments of respite Never carefree, quiet and relaxed – very little solitude.

After many years of marriage to and partnership with the high level narcissist you recognize that this time you must make some big decisions about this non-relationship. 

This recognition represents an enormous shift in your perceptions. Now you have begun your journey to put the emphasis on the value and meaning of yourself as an individual who is entitled to inner peace, to be treated with respect and caring, to be cherished and valued, to pursue your creative gifts in an environment of encouragement and support. 

 

Beware of Introjection & Projection!

You may not know these terms but you know the undercutting feeling one produces, and the scramble the other does! Very important to recognize and say no to! Listen in.Hijackals–people with narcissistic, borderline, passive-aggressive, anti-social traits–play to win. Only to win. They cannot and will not tolerate blame or shame to touch them and they work hard at being two or three steps ahead of either of those at all times. This episode sheds light on two sad, and important, ways that they try to make you take responsibility for their deficits. As I said, sad! You may be familiar with projection. That’s when the Hijackal projects their feelings or characteristics onto you, usually things they are afraid are true about themselves. Much more on that to hear. You may not be familiar with introjection. That;s when you unconsciously internalize and incorporate the characteristics, ideas and attitudes of other people into your own thoughts and behaviors, usualy to reduce your anxiety or fear of loss. Now, you can imagine what havoc these two things can create within you…but, only if you don’t realize what’s going on. This episode will help you clearly understand what these terms mean and how they play out. (p.s. NOT WELL!) It’s important to know these distinctions so you’ll be able to take charge when you see them! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What projection is, and its purposeWhat introjection isHow introjection can be used positively AND negatively to shape you without your awarenessHow Hijackals use projection to protect themselvesHow you might use introjection to misguidedly try to get a Hijackal to like you and treat you well (p.s. That won’t happen.)Do you know you need to learn to turn on the teflon and avoid the projection?  I’m here to help.Let’s talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community #projection #introjection #hownarcissistsuseprojection #beawareofintrojection #takechargeofyourself #dontsuckuptonarcissists #dontbelikethem #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequestSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Stop Acting as the High Level Narcissist's Primary Source of Narcissistic Supply

You have been a primary resource of ego supply to the high level narcissist: adulation, praise, loyalty, creative collaboration. 

Beneath the extreme confidence, self entitlement and charm, the high level narcissist is an individual who is constantly in need of keeping his ego fully inflated.

High level narcissists create a golden circle of followers and admirers who provide them with constant re-circulating adoration, obedience, monetary rewards that raise them up on the power food chain. 

High level narcissists choose partners and spouses who increase the attraction and fascination that others have toward them. A socially skilled charming sophisticated partners is an invaluable part of the high level’s appeal and cachet. High level choose souses who burnish their image, are gifted socially and add to the perfection of the high level’s impeccable image. 

For the high level narcissist you are an object who fulfills his/her needs, wants and expectations. Your perfect performance is expected.

The high level is cunning and has a gift for knowing your psychological vulnerabilities and deep wishes. He/she uses these skills for purposes of control and manipulation. 

For some partners to high level narcissists it is the exciting and easy lifestyle that is so appealing. You feel like you can have anything you want because you are connected with the magic of the narcissist.

Behind closed doors the story turns ugly You become the object of the narcissist’s vile projections, criticisms, humiliations. It is stressful and exhausting to be treated in this manner for so many years, even decades. 

You have many insights and decide to move forward along your own pathway that you deserve to pursue your unique creative gifts, to go through your days with a sense of inner peace, appreciating and acting upon your individuality. Physical, psychological and creative energies are renewed. You have come back to your original true self. 

HOW TO KEEP A HIJACKAL FROM TEARING YOU DOWN

Hijackals–passive-aggressove. marcossostoc. amti-social folks–thrive on tearing you down. Sometimes, it’s a slow picking at you. Sometimes, it’s a constant beratement. Either way, you need to stop it from getting into your head and under your skin. And, if it’s already there, I’ll help you get it out. Listen in.Hijackals–my word for people who hijack relationships for their own needs and purposes, and then relentlessly scavenge them for power, status, and control–feed on having power over you. It’s what gets them up in the morning! Sad. Hijackals thrive on tearing you down, wearing you down, and putting you down. It feeds that need for control. SO, they will say anything to you that keeps you small and makes them feel big. Nasty! Whether the Hijackal you have in mind is your parent, sibling, partner, or adult child, subtly or crashingly crassly, they will find numerous ways to make you feel small, worthless, and insignificant. Does this sound familiar? Some of them only do it when fearful or stressed (that can be too much of the time!) and others live in that skin 24/7. In this episode, I give you 9 ways to stop anyone from tearing you down. No, it has nothing to do with putting your hand over their mouth. AND, yes, it has everything to do with taking charge of yourself so that you can be Emerging Empowered! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:What gaslighting isHow to stop believing the gaslightingStopping the manipulation of believing a narcissistic person’s view of youChanging your self-talk to what is accurate, true, and positive…no matter what a Hijackal saysTaking charge of what goes on in your head and saying “No!” to power games played by narcissists and other HijackalsAre you willing to believe what you know to be true about you regardless of what a Hijackal tries to sell you? Great. I’m here to help.Let’s talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER…WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp————————————————————-I‘M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler’s Emerging Empowered Community #nogaslighting #dontgaslightyourself #putanendtoabuse #dontbedemeaned #stopthemanipulation #positiveselftalk #strengthenyourmind ##codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequestSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

High Level Narcissists – Beneath the Elaborate Facade

In a culture rife with hyper-narcissism, the high level narcissist stands out as an individual who gets away with multiple forms of narcissistic abuse visited by spouses, ex-spouses, children, business associate.  

The false selves of the narcissist are gifted at presenting themselves in the most irresistible way. They are charming, charismatic, tuned in to you. 

Quoting from my book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist:

“The narcissist believes in an intricate world of his making, dominated by inflated illusions of self-importance. His style is grandiose—like some peacock or wild turkey with feathers in full display. His version of reality bears no resemblance to the truth.”

Your ticket and pathway through the thickets of being victimized by the high level narcissist is based on your deep research, clear discernment, perseverance and psychological grounding. 

Pay close attention to how the high level narcissist reveals himself/herself when the facade slips. 

The false self persona slips and you behold the primitive shadow of this individual. 

When you observe the truth about your narcissistic spouse, partner or parents, you can have confidence in your findings. Also your intuition leads the way in discerning the truth about the nature of the high level narcissist. 

You are moving forward at your own pace; the wind is at your back. You are independent, grounded and creative. Remember to practice self care each day: rest/sleep, good nutrition, fine hydration, movement and exercise, spending time with Nature, a spiritual practice as you define it. 

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