Tag: narcissistic abuse recovery

Narcissistic mothers come in innumerable sizes, shapes, proclivities, temperaments, dispositions but they have traits in common with regard to the way they treat their children. Being the child of a narcissistic mother is one of the most difficult , complex and painful human roles,

Narcissistic mothers:

Focus ont hemselves whether they are overt or covert narcissistic personalities.

These mothers insist on their version of “reality” not yours.

They are highly entitled to get and have whatever they want. If this means that you are their servant that’s just fine with them.

Narcissistic mothers rather than have a genuine relationship with their child are highly exploitive, using them to suit her purposes.

Their children are put into roles that burnish the narcissistic  mother’s perfect public image.

Narcissistic mothers are great actors who convince family members, social and professional circles that they are highly devoted and dedicated and loving toward their children. They are method actors in this way and fool almost everyone. 

Narcissistic mothers are masters of control and rule the household and children like tyrannical potentates. 

Narcissistic mothers humiliate their children, weakening them psychologically and causing them to doubt themselves.

Narcissistic mothers are hypocrites—very strict and insistent that  their child behaves perfectly but having no standards of civility or empathy in the way that she treats her children. 

Narcissistic mothers re incapable of true insight and spend their days in states of psychological denial and manufactured version of their delusional world where they reign as perfect, fine individuals. This is their belief.

You are a separate individual from your narcissistic mother. Learn to appreciate your individuality, creativity gifts, your warmth, intelligence, self initiation, kindness and psychological strength and stamina.

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com/

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

This is Part 2 of the podcast: High Level Narcissistic Golden Boy – Attracted to Empaths.  

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com/

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

Recall when you were face to face with an individual who exuded a palpable charm, a kind of erotic force that was impossible to deny, an enchantment. 

The golden one of many gifts – often handsome, articulate, at times brilliant, smooths his way through life having been born as a kind of nobility. 

Enter the empath, that unique individual of great discernment, intuition and sensitivity.  Often introverted they are drawn to this individual of towering self confidence, indomitable energy, fearlessness combined with magnetic charm.

If drawn into the narcissist’s enchanted circle the empath is loyal and tends to put up with the projections, criticisms and humiliations  by the high level narcissist. 

 There is a point of awakening when the empath has had more than enough of the high level’s brand of abuse and with research and inner wisdom decides to move forward along the pathways of the original self and put the emphasis on self care and creative and personal transformation. 

Children of narcissistic parents endure many psychological deprivations and abuses. These parents are obsessed with themselves and their needs and desires.

Growing up in these homes from hell you were often ignored. When you did not mirror the narcissistic parent perfectly you were highly criticized, humiliated, treated with scorn, even revulsion. 

Growing up in this way you received no sense of self entitlement. The message you received was one of unworthiness, disrespect, disdain. 

As you move forward in your recovery and transformation from the narcissistic parent you learn the following:

Entitled to the expression of our feelings of joy, exciteman, spontaneity, humor, sadness, anger.

Self assertion as a unique individual with many unique creative gifts. 

Solitude, the capacity to be alone and experience inner peace. 

Feelings psychologically and emotionally secure within yourself. 

Expectations of being treated with respect.

Fully entitled to all of the fruits of your creativity. 

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

Quotes from Sister Wendy Beckett’s television presentation from the great cave art of Lascaux:  “With only their flickering lamps to guide them the cave men felt their way down into the earth…What they paint are the great bulls and bison and the wild deer; all the animals they didn’t hunt but they watched them. “

“It’s that looking with awe and wonder that makes Lascaux what it is because all these animals are beautiful…  But art isn’t like that, art is about being human. Children make art instinctively. Archeologist know when they find evidence of at they found evidence of human beings. All that is best in us, our desires, our hopes, our truth.” 

Quote from my book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist about Color and its contribution to your individuality and creativity.

Presenting the magnificent painting by Johannes Vermeer, Dutch painter of Delft called: Girl with A Pearl Earring. She is called the Mona Lisa of the North. This magnificent painting engages us on a personal level. We are in communication with this girl of fascination, beauty and individuality. She is present with us in this moment. 

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

High level narcissists have no respect for the needs, feelings, individuality and wishes of others. They are disinterested in others—fascinated by everything “me.”. The high level narcissist looks to find a compliant narcissistic supply who will keep his/her ego fully inflated. 

Spouses of high level narcissists have difficulty drawing clear lines of differentiation between their needs for self respect and privacy because the narcissist is so intimidating. 

Develop strong psychological boundaries by practicing self respect, honoring your individuality, self care routines: rest, sleep, movement/exercise, nourishing food, grounding through yoga poses, walking, calming the breath.  

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

The high level narcissist, though charming, accomplished and charismatic, is psychologically shallow For most it is the achievement of the perfect image and persona that supersedes the personality. The high level uss a series of powerful defense mechanisms that keep him/her from searching for self truth and insight. This is not their focus. They are driven to succeed in the world, to compete and win against others who would dare to play against them. Their values are materialistic, have a surface veneer that shines brightly on the outside and hides the shallow empty horrors deep in their disturbed psyches. 

It is automatic for the high level for taking no blame since these individuals don’t develop a conscience.

With research and intuitive wisdom you recognize that you can no longer share yourself with a loathsome being who is transforming himself/herself into a monstrous vision of himself. 

Now is your time for separating yourself away from this daily nightmare.

You are on your way. Give yourself special attribution for the journey you are taking on the pathway of the original self. 

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

There is a common thread that runs through many marriages to narcissists, especially when rumblings of a divorce are in the ait. Before the lightening strikes it is not unusual for the narcisistic spouses to have hidden the financial assets. 

Narcissists are chronic liars. You cannot change these characteristics.

Besides the financial matters, the narcissist is psychologically and emotionally eclipsing your days. 

When you decide the marriage is no longer working with the narcissist, create your own plan in advance of the separation and divorce. Make sure that you interview two lawyers and more if necessary to find an expert in divorce law.  Be sure this person is your excellent advocate and has a fine character.

This is a complex process. I give you so much credit for making this decision and following through. 

You now are moving along the pathways of the authentic original self and deserve tremendous credit for taking the initiative and persevering. 

https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke

www.mhnrnetwork.com

https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg

Quoting from my book Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: “The narcissist puts his life in neat compartment that are separate from one another…These are kept separate from the unconscious parts of himself that feel depressed, enraged, empty and helpless. 

Without a developed conscience the high level continues his acting out patterns. The compartmentalization keeps the ego of the high level narcissist fully inflated. It is smooth sailing for them to act out in duplicitous ways with different partners. 

The renowned painter Pablo Picasso often had affairs with several women going at one time.

High level narcissists never apologize or look back with regret over the psychological and emotional abuse they have instigated. The simply move on to the next man or woman who fulfills their needs for adoration, libidinal excitement, veneration, constant attention.