Tag: Self-empowerment

In today’s world, we are set up for polarization. How do we turn our 5-alarm fights into something more constructive?

Conflict for many is unpleasant at best. Often when conflict is particularly intense or prolonged in high stakes relationships, the psychological pain can be excruciating. As humans, when we experience things that cause pain we tend to escape, avoid or react. On one hand, retreating from the “threat” of conflict means we stuff it down and pretend nothing is wrong and resentments can smolder into contempt. On the other hand reacting usually results in us saying or doing things that we regret or puts us in an escalating pattern.

In this episode I speak with culture and nonviolent communication expert Lisa Stokes Nicholas. She shares tools you can use in your work and personal life to move from conflict to curiosity.

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About Lisa Stokes Nicholas
Lisa Stokes Nicholas, President of Kavi Consulting Services brings 25 years of nonprofit management and consulting experience to each engagement. This extensive background, blended with her training in mindfulness and nonviolent communication has provided a unique blend of guidance and support resulting in significant improvements within domestic and international organizations serving multiple sectors including: advocacy; education; faith communities; food security; healthcare; hospice; information technology; government; security; sustainable energy; technology; and travel.

Prior to founding Kavi Consulting Services, Lisa was the Director of Strategic Restructuring for Planned Parenthood Federation of America where she developed and implemented restructuring initiatives for the federated organization with combined assets of more than $1billion and more than 100 affiliates in 50 states and led negotiations with senior leaders from more than 60 organizations.

In addition, Lisa has worked with a multitude of organizations to strengthen their governance processes, create strategic plans, or move from crisis to sustainability. During this process Lisa has served as a coach to many individuals. For more information on this episode go to https://www.sallyspencerthomas.com/hope-illuminated-podcast/81

Overwork. Burnout. Resentment. Churn. Bullying. Exclusion. Gossip. These qualities define the toxic work conditions that Mari Ryan calls a “dive hive.” She makes the argument that personal and community resilience are highly influenced by the cost-saving and life-saving preventative care we cultivate at work. Instead of a ‘“dive hive,” we need an “alive hive” filled with purpose, joy and impact. In this podcast Mari outlines a strategy on how companies can advance worker well-being and thrive.

About Mari Ryan, MBA, MHP, CWP
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Mari Ryan is a workplace well-being expert, international speaker and award-winning author. She is the CEO and founder of AdvancingWellness and leverages over 30 years of business experience in a variety of industries. For the past decade, Ms. Ryan has been creating thriving workplaces, through her consulting work and speaking on worksite well-being. Mari earned a Bachelor’s degree from Lesley University, an MBA from Boston University, a Master’s degree in Health Promotion from Nebraska Methodist College. Mari is an active member of the National Speakers Association. Mari is the author of award-winning book The Thriving Hive: How People-Centric Workplaces Ignite Engagement and Fuel Results. for more information on this episode go to https://www.sallyspencerthomas.com/hope-illuminated-podcast/80

At the heart of civility is respect. Respect and dignity are essential for psychological safety, especially when others have diverse experiences and viewpoints. Civility is not about complacency or placating. It’s not about denying or pushing away strong feelings that can emerge when conflict emerges. It’s about temporarily suspending our alarm bells for a period of time so we can do the hard work of “climbing the empathy wall” to better understand the deep stories behind those we see as “the other.”

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In this podcast, I interview Sejal Thakkar, an employment lawyer whose family immigrated from India. She has lived the duality of a “betwixt/between” life and has experienced the incivility of discrimination. As she grew through these experiences, she developed a “civility plan” to help workplaces improve their tactics for psychological safety.

About Sejal Thakkar, Esq.
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Dubbing herself “Chief Civility Officer”, Sejal is not your average employment law attorney! Her more than fifteen years of experience advising clients, human resources personnel, and legal counsel regarding sound, standard employment practices uncovered a need – and personal passion – for bringing more proactive, relevant, and impactful workplace training programs to her clients and their teams. Her highly experiential customized workshops tailored to executives, managers, and individual contributors bring the courtroom to the training room in an interactive, engaging environment that favors human stories over compliance checklists. For more information on this episode go to https://www.sallyspencerthomas.com/hope-illuminated-podcast/79

How we see ourselves often is shaped by the many voices of our experience —- intersecting identities, some which may be aligned, others in conflict with one another. The voices we internalize may come from our parents or other influential adults from our childhood, or our religions and cultures more broadly. Still, other voices may be those of our ancestors, whom we have never met, but whose experiences have been imprinted in our bodies.

In this conversation I speak with the inspiring Dr. Tammy Sanders, a self-identified, Black, gay woman raised in the Black Baptist Church of the deep South. She realized at an early age that in order to survive, she needed to escape parts of herself or perish. Come listen to her incredible journey to wholeness — a holistic approach towards uncomfortable growth surrounded by deep connection with others.

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About Tammy Sanders, Ph.D.
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For nearly 30 years, Tammy’s life and work have been an active commitment to self-awareness, healing and growth. Her professional life has focused on behavioral development for leaders and managers, while her personal emotional, mental and spiritual growth has leveraged 12-step, therapy, and entheogenic experiences to move beyond addiction, depression, complex PTSD and transgenerational trauma.

With expertise grounded in experience and research, Tammy remains committed to holistic and accessible mental wellness in service of a stable and just world. Where there are initiatives, efforts and people who share this commitment, she’s keen to connect and is best reached via www.linkedin.com/in/tammyssanders.

Professionally, she is a seasoned strategist, advisor, facilitator and coach with an MA Anthropology of Media from the University of London, an MBA from the Monterey Institute of International Studies, and a PhD in Education and Technology from Florida International University. Tammy’s evolutionary career in media, tech, management, and professional development includes guiding the behavioral growth of leaders at all stages in their careers, from a variety of cultural backgrounds, and across a wide range of industries.

Personally, her emotional, mental and spiritual growth has leveraged 12-step, cognitive and somatic therapies, and entheogenic experiences to move beyond addiction, depression, complex PTSD and transgenerational trauma.

With expertise grounded in experience and research, Tammy remains committed to holistic and accessible mental wellness in service of a stable and just world. Where there are initiatives, efforts and people who share this commitment, she’s keen to connect and is best reached via www.linkedin.com/in/tammyssanders. For more information on this episode please go to https://www.sallyspencerthomas.com/hope-illuminated-podcast/78

When we face adversity or toxic environments, how we respond makes all the difference. Breathing helps us create space in between the stimulus and our response, and in that space we can sometimes find calm, gratitude and possibilities. In this podcast I chat with Reggie Hubbard, a man who found yoga as he tried to cope with workplace toxicity and transition. His three criteria for finding tools too help him cope:

Does it enhance creativity?

Does it lower my blood pressure?

Does it make me smile?

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About Reggie Hubbard
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Reggie Hubbard is a certified yoga teacher and the founder/Chief Serving Officer of Active Peace Yoga. Adopting a disciplined yogic has saved his life and he is committed to sharing these practices to help others.

His wellness journey was born of curiosity; forged in adversity due to a toxic employment situation; and has become a lesson in surrender to the miracles that exist in commitment to personal peace and wellbeing as a foundation, rather than an afterthought. By prioritizing wellness, calm and balance become our resting state, from which we are better able to receive Life’s challenges and blessings with equanimity. for more information on this episode go to https://www.sallyspencerthomas.com/hope-illuminated-podcast/77

When we ask “What do you do?”, what we often mean is “What WORK do you do?” In many ways — at least in the United States — our culture tells us, “You ARE what you do for a living.” Not only as a provider for your family and a meaningful contributor to society (and “meaningful” is often defined by the paycheck and the status”) but as someone who is earnestly chasing the “American Dream.”

The original ideas of the “American Dream” may have been about equality, justice and democracy, its current interpretation has become the ethos of our society — the belief that anyone who works hard enough work can achieve material success and upward mobility and that this type of prosperity will give you liberty and happiness. Here the values of self-reliance and work ethic are highly valued and often come at the cost of our health, relationships, and others’ well-being as we claw our way to “the top.”

For some of us our work identity becomes what we call our “single-source” identity. Meaning, we have put most if not all our identity “eggs” into one basket: our work or wealth. We define our worth by the size of our 401K or by our promotions. Here we are particularly vulnerable. For when that “basket” crashes — through lay-offs, firing, demotion, failure, disability, even retirement — and we can no longer do the work that defines us, we feel “the fall is so great”, and there is no safety net to catch us.

On the positive side, when work is working well, it gives us a sense of belonging and a sense of being a part of something larger than ourselves. Work gives us structure to our lives and the satisfaction that our skills and talents are contributing to the world in some way. This positive aspect of our identity protects us against depression, anxiety and loneliness. In this interview with Scott Mason, we explore the role of our work in our identity and well-being. We argue that we all need to cultivate a multifaceted identity where our personal worth is based on being loved for who you ARE not just on being admired for what you DO.

About Scott Mason
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Scott Mason is a motivational and keynote speaker — focusing on resilience, personal transformation, and social ethics — as well as the Principal of Scott Mason, LLC, which provides small business consulting and leadership mentoring services. Prior to that, Scott was co-Principal of The Brooklyn Press, a silkscreen printing company with locations in NYC and Newburgh, NY. Previously, Scott was the General Counsel and Vice-President of Operations for Urban Resource Institute, the USA’s largest provider of domestic violence shelter services and an operator of homeless shelters. He also spent nearly 20 years in executive and in-house counsel positions with various City of New York agencies, including a time as the second-in-command of the agency which operates the City’s administrative tribunal system. He is a graduate of Columbia Law School and Carleton College, and completed the Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses program in 2019. for more information on this episode go to https://www.sallyspencerthomas.com/hope-illuminated-podcast/76