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Tag: uncertainty

Living is Harder Than Dying

Sometimes I think living is harder than dying. At least that’s what I’ve been struggling with since I completed another course of IV chemotherapy. Metaphorically speaking, living means staying open in the face of fear. Living means staying engaged in the midst of overwhelm. It’s a courageous act to stay present when life feels like it’s one big “sufferfest”. Here’s to every single one of you who are enduring some version of pain at this moment. You are my hero.

House of the Heart – My Conversation with Laurel Braitman

I sit down with Laurel Braitman – well, she is actually phoning in from the Alaskan wilderness! What an amazing human. Laurel Braitman PhD is a New York Times bestselling author, historian and anthropologist of science. She is the first Writer-in-Residence and the Director of Writing and Storytelling at the Medicine & the Muse Program at the Stanford University School of Medicine where she is helping medical students and physicians communicate more meaningfully–for themselves and their patients. She holds a PhD in Science, Technology and Society from MIT, is a Senior TED Fellow and a 2019 National Geographic Explorer. Her last book, Animal Madness, was a NYT bestseller and has been translated into eight languages. Her next book House of the Heart, (forthcoming, Simon & Schuster) is about growing up, mortality and how we might live with the perspective of a terminal disease without the dire prognosis. Her work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, Good Morning America and Al Jazeera. Her stories have appeared in The Guardian, on Radiolab, in The Wall Street Journal, Wired, National Geographic and other publications.

Laurel and I connected easily and instantly. Listen in as we talk about her work and soon to be published book about growing up with a father facing a dire prognosis and how this shaped the way she lives her life.

Seeking Solace in the Face of Mortality – My Counseling Session with Dr BJ Miller

I’m inviting you into a very personal and intimate experience. I am releasing my most recent counseling session that I had with Dr. BJ Miller, Palliative Care Specialist and Founder of Mettle Health. BJ Miller was actually one of my first guests on the Precarious Podcast. Little did I know that only a few months later, I’d hear those dread words, “Cancer is back”. I reached out to him immediately and haven’t looked back. What you will hear is an unedited glimpse into my current experiences of living with advanced cancer – my fears, my struggles, my hopes and my desires and how BJ helps me walk this tightrope. Come, be a fly on the wall. It’s a rare opportunity to be invited into such a sacred space.

I Hesitate to Celebrate: Part 2

Here’s Part 2 of my conversation with Joe. We talk about playing it safe versus taking risks with our hearts. We ask the question, “Do we have to experience pain first hand in order to learn and grow?”. And, my 20-something year old cat, Buster, makes an appearance!

I hesitate to Celebrate: Part 1

I love talking with Joe. So, here we are again! This is a two-part conversation. In Part 1, Joe and I talk about how hard these past few months have been. For me it’s finishing 6 months of intensive chemotherapy. For Joe, it’s wrestling with his work, passion and purpose. We talk about going through hard stuff again (and again) and how to make sense of it when maybe it just doesn’t make sense. We talk about how to let ourselves celebrate getting to the other side and why that seems so hard to do. Mostly, we connect on what it means to be human.

We Matter A Lot More Than We Think We Do – My Conversation with Jim Dunlap

Jim Dunlap is living with multiple neurological disorders which even his doctors don’t completely understand. To say his life has changed as a result is an understatement. He once worked in highly successful real estate career and directed a national pro cycling team. He has said good-bye to those things that once identified him. I can relate. I loved talking with Jim. We talked about facing our deaths, learning from our pain and embracing humility vs humiliation. And, we laughed in spite of it all.

It's My Birthday

Wow – I turned 55! Living with advanced cancer means living to the next birthday is not a guarantee. I am in awe of this beautiful and terrible thing called life. I am grateful for my broken down, tired body. I know I am living on borrowed time and I am even grateful for that knowing. My life is so much richer. This makes me a wealthy person. In fact, I am the luckiest person I know.

I Wasn't Ready to Let Go

I love my job. As a mental health professional, it’s an honor and a privilege to sit with people as they work through some of their hardest moments. In this episode, I talk with one of my current clients about what brought her into therapy and what she is learning about herself. I invite you to listen to this revealing conversation between therapist and client. It’s raw, revealing, painful and hopeful.

I No Longer Make Plans

I just completed over six months of intensive weekly chemotherapy. I’m relieved, sad and terrified all at once. I’ve been here before. Living with advanced cancer, means living with uncertainty. This experience is the epitome of the precariousness of life. I miss making plans. Because I can’t count on tomorrow, this experience forces me to live in the moment. And, there is so much beauty if you take the time to notice.

I Have Nightmares – a Pandemic Story

Kate Weaver was fairly new into her career as a Clinical Dietician when she found herself on the frontlines of providing care during the height of the Pandemic. Like so many frontline workers, she found herself overwhelmed and feeling helpless. What she didn’t realize at the time was the toll this was taking on her mental health. This is her story of survival and healing from trauma. It’s a story of hope and resilience.


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