Tag: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist

Empaths are often informal. They don’t have a retinue of followers or adorers, those that do their bidding. There are certain qualities that empaths possess. They are sensitive to their external and internal environments and have been this way since babyhood. Empaths have very keen perceptions. 

Empaths tend to savor their solitude; these times offer them a freedom in which they are not required to deal with the psychodynamics and dramas of others. 

Empaths have wonderful rich imaginations. 

Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: 

“In his interactions with the other person who embraces simplicity is straightforward. There are no hidden agendas, no psychological ploys, no manipulative histrionics. 

Simplicity is like the purest waters of an azure lagoon, where a swimmer views the white sandy bottom thirty feet down. They put no finger to the wind to gauge if they are liked or accepted. 

The individual who practices simplicity uses his gifs fully and willingly gives them back to the world.”

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Lying for the narcissist is as predictable and natural as the sun rising i the East. High level narcissists lie through commission and omission and by intricate combinations of the two. They pile one lie on top of the other with great “skill” and insouciance. Remember, narcissists unlike you and me do not have a fully developed conscience. 

High levels are shameless with their lies. They tell huge ones without blinking or blanching or having the slightest prick of conscience. 

The high level focuses on his primary goals:

Keeping his /her ego fully inflated at all times.

Seeking power over others within his occupational and societal orbit.

Keeping his eyes on the prize – material largesse, getting rid of competitors and if this involves smear campaigns the high level is gifted at ruining reputations through lies, accusations and insinuations.

The consequences of their multiple lies, misdeeds, cruelties, betrayals never enters their minds. In fact they blame everything that goes wrong on their victims and other innocents that are handy. Spreading lies and rumors are all part of their playbook.  :

When things get touch the lying high level leaves you behind. You have worn thin – they are looking and finding a new shiny replacement. You are exhausted and no longer attractive to them.  So they are off to create another delusion with someone who is naive, compliant, even worshipful of them.

You have awakened to the true nature of the high level narcissist. 

You are moving forward despite your history with this dreadful personality. 

You have persevered – through your knowledge, psychological stamina, inner wisdom, intuition. This is your time of transformation, healing, restoration. 

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A beast of burden is defined as an animal who caries heavy loads or must do very hard work. 

High level narcissists often put their children, spouses, ex-spouses, family members in the role of servants.

The high level narcissist is imperious. He/she is the ruler in every relationship. Children of narcissists are at the mercy, whim, impulse, psychopathology of their highly disturbed parents. Being raised by a high level narcissistic parent, the child has no real support, validation, emotional closeness, feeling of security or protection or sense of entitlement (unless he is the golden child and adored. 

Children growing up with a high level narcissistic parent describe that they felt like prisoners in their own homes. 

The high level narcissistic parent is highly demanding of what he or she wants and must have. Nothing is ever good enough for the narcissistic parent. 

The child of a narcissistic parent is likely to marry a narcissist, repeated the psychological pattern of abuse.

The high level narcissistic spouse is impossible–making outrageous demands, throwing criticisms right and left, making the partner feel unworthy and defective. 

Some high level narcissistic spouses keep their human beats of burden. 

Those married to high level narcissists can awaken to the truth that they have been the victims of narcissistic abuse, move forward along their own pathways of restoration, renewal, transformation and the full use of your creative original self. They are human beasts of burden no longer. You belong to your unique self, use your creativity fully and deeply.

Practice self care each day: sleep, rest, listen to beautiful music, movement and exercise that works for you, good nourishment and hydration, a form of mindfulness. that you discover, the gifts of Nature, the use and richness of your unique creativity. 

 

 

Predatory narcissists are beautifully packaged, have great social skills, charisma, mirror you and make you feel special.

Sequence of predatory narcissists in controlling you:

Engage you and show great interest in you, very friendly.

Activate the relationship

Exploit you completely – taking your time, energy, your creative gifts, making constant demands, wearing you out, humiliating you.

They will reactivate this relationship and re-exploit you many times over years and decades. 

Eventually the narcissist will discard you with a newer, compliant model. You are not an individual to them. You are a commodity they use to feed their egos and fulfill their outrageous goals. 

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High level narcissists are dissemblers, filled with patterns of deceit and corruption. They conceal the truth from you at every turn. As the partner, spouse or child of a high level narcissist, you can only expect lies and purposeful obfuscations from these individuals. 

Some of the things that the high level takes from you:

Your inner peace and sense of solitude.

Eclipse the amount of time that you can spend in the calming restorative parasympathetic body/mind systems where you experience healing and transformation.

Making continuous demands for keeping their fragile egos inflated with constant praise, adulation, obedience, unlimited attention, gratitude, veneration. 

High level narcissists are dissemblers who despise the truth. Constructing elaborate lies and obfuscations are the methods that they use to continue to rise up to their over the top positions of power and influence. 

High levels put untold pressures on you to compromise your well developed conscience. 

High level narcissists are envious of your creative gifts. Sometimes they lift your original concepts and exploit them for their own purposes. 

High levels wear you down with multiple humiliations that they know will compromise you psychologically and emotionally. 

Ultimately you can never be your true self partnered with a high level narcissist. They are incapable of developing meaningful, empathic, loving relationships. 

At a point of deep insight you decide to move forward as an independent, free, creative, grounded person, steeped in your own wisdom, psychological stamina unique individuality. 

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The beginnings of trust occur very early in a child’s life. The baby, especially the empath, senses whether he/she can depend on his/her mother or father to feel safe, secure, valued, psychologically grounded.

With a narcissistic mother you treaded lightly, always waiting for her to blow like a bubbling volcano. 

You took on the burden of your parents’ core psychological issues and tried to solve their problems so that you could have a real family. You were the fixer and the little child grownup. 

There comes a time of clarity when you recognize that you can no longer play the role of family fixer. 

This is your moment of independence, self care and transformation. 

Keep company with yourself; get to know and appreciate who you are as an individual. This is a time of solitude and resfulness. 

Trust your deep intuition. 

Rest, rest, rest. 

Movement and exercise that works for you.

Listen to restorative beautiful music. Spend time with Nature. 

Good nutrition and hydration.  

Activate and honor your creativity.

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Some days empaths don’t get much done. They are criticized for not being productive. Empaths are unique in their high sensitivity and keen perceptions and intuitions. 

Empaths are considered very strange by most people. 

Empaths go through periods of insomnia and sometimes it’s chronic. If you can’t sleep, rest and be patient with yourself. Practice diaphragmatic breathing. 

Eat organic food if possible, hydrate with pure water. Listen to beautiful music.  Move and exercise.  

Embrace your individuality as an empath. 

High level narcissists spend their days exploiting others. This is their style and their deep need to take advantage of every relationship: spouses, partners, ex-spouses, children. 

When you are partnered with a high level narcissist this individual interferes with the expression of your individuality and creativity.

1. You become part of the Image that defines them as special and superior to others. The narcissist expects you to mirror his/her perfection.  For the narcissist image is reality.  This insistence interferes with the development of your individuality. 

2. With your fine character you make the high level narcissist look very good. .The high level uses your character as a vehicle for twining with you. 

3. High levels are often attracted to empaths.  Empaths are highly intuitive and experience a deep understanding and appreciation for the feelings of others. Again, the empath is often very forgiving and will stay with the high level despite how badly they are treated.. 

4.  High level narcissists ride high on your unique creativity and some of them exploit your creativity ideas. They are unwilling to give your many creative gifts. 

AT a point of awakening you recognize that you  can no longer be manipulated and controlled by the high level narcissist. You have done the research about the true nature of the narcissistic personality. . Your wisdom and deep insights have brought you to the recognition and decision that you are moving forward to separate from the level narcissist and put yourself first. 

Give yourself so much credit for appreciating who you are as an authentic, empathic, creative, individual. You are persevering, grounded, have many gifts and are moving along the pathways of the authentic original self.  

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The word “desolation” is from the French going back hundreds of years. It means a state of emptiness or destruction. 

Growing up with a narcissistic parent(s) you suffered from the beginning. Some of you sensed there was something wrong and frightening about your family. Some children of narcissistic parents wonder if they were switched at birth. Of course you knew that this was not literally the case.

From earliest childhood you felt a deep need to please your narcissistic parent. You made constant efforts to be accepted and loved by mother or father. These children are emotionally starving for attention and care. 

You suffered greatly from the humiliations, accusations, punishments, guilt induction, extreme control placed on you by the narcissist. 

Those who stay married to the high level narcissist are under tremendous stress, day and night. There is no respite, your nervous system is constantly in fight or flight survival mode. 

There is a time of awakening when you step forward to ground yourself in your unique individuality. This is your pathway of psychological grounding and transformation. Give yourself tremendous credit for your journey of the rediscovery of your wholeness, uniqueness and creativity. 

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The word “desolation” originates from the French, several hundred years ago. It means a states of emptiness or destruction. 

Growing up with a narcissistic parent(s), you suffered from the beginning. Some of you sensed there was something wrong and frightening about your family. You felt out of place and didn’t understand why. 

From earliest childhood you felt a deep need to please your narcissistic parent. You made constant efforts to be accepted and loved by mother or father. These children are emotionally starving for attention and care. They are ravenous for affection and empathy.

Those who stay married to a high level narcissist are under tremendous stress, day and night. There is no respite. Your nervous system is continually in fight or flight survival mode.  As the months and years moved forward you became very weary, stressed, anxious, depressed. 

You are now awakened and step forward to ground yourself in your unique individuality. This is your pathway of psychological grounding and transformation. Give yourself credit for your journey of rediscovery of your wholeness and creativity. 

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