Tag: silent treatment

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIT HAPPENED TO ME: Today’s guest, Christa, shares her story of life with–and beyond–a #Hijackal husbandThis is a special feature of Save Your Sanity. I occasionally talk on Save Your Sanity with people willing to share their stories of life with, and after, a Hijackal. That might be their parent, partner, friend, or co-worker. You can find a Hijackal in every area of life…unfortunately!Today, Christa shares her story.(P.S.If you decide to share your story, you don’t have to use your real name!)Christa was married to a Hijackal for almost twenty years, and had three children. Finally, it became too much and she spent two years fighting for custody.Oops! Her husband was an attorney. I’ve had several clients in different parts of the world who had #Hijackal attorneys for husbands. So difficult! And, so difficult to divorce, in most cases.Christa attributes her winning to being able to have the funds and other resources to fight for custody for two years. Many people do not have the emotional and financial resources to do that. Christa was able to. She said:”The only person involved with our case who saw his side of things was his own attorney. I was granted custody but that, of course, is not the end of the story. He bribed my girls until each one of them decided to live with him. He found ways to turn them against me. He told lies to our neighbors and friends. He even called my mother and brother and told them they really didn’t know me. I want to share my story so others know they can leave and reclaim their lives.” Thank you, Christa. You’ve outlined several Hijackal Hallmarks:alienating the children with bribesbad-mouthing the other parent to make the Hijackal look goodtransgressing a basic statement in every divorce decree: not to speak poorly of the other parent to the childrencreating a smear campaign with neighbors, friends and colleagues to sway them to his side and make you look badtrying to alienate family members from you, and pretend that they have “special knowledge” of you, or say that you are unwell or unfitIf you have a story to share, please send it to me HERE if you’re willing to share it. Let me know it is for the It Happened To Me segment.I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS…like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly “Ask Me Anything” calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #divorcingatoxicperson #divorcinganarcissist

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorANGRY WITH A HIJACKAL? WHY PAYBACK WON’T WORKHijackal behavior is outrageous, and it gets your blood boiling too often, right? They are like vampires, draining your blood. And, you just want to show ’em how it feels. And, you want them to see how much they hurt you. And, truth be told, you want them to hurt the way you are hurt. So, you think that payback will help. It doesn’t, won’t, and can’t. News flash! They don’t care about you, or your feelings. They want what they want, and that is power and control. So, when you are poised to write that poison pen letter to let them know that they cannot treat you that way, you need to think about today’s episode and change your tactic. You can never be who they want you to be because that changes with the wind. You have to know who you are and be only that. Listen. Get this right down to your toes, even though it feels counter-intuitive when you’re hurt and angry. I know how difficult making the shift is that I’m suggesting today. If you’re still so angry you could spit wooden nickels, Let’s work on that together.Today’s episode will give you insights into:why responding to the hurtful ways of Hijackals takes some finessehow you can take back your powerwhere you can find your greatest strength to stop being manipulated by a #Hijackalwhy payback never works with Hijackals Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! It’s SO important not to respond with toxicity to them. Most important reason: you won’t like yourself when you do! I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS…like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly “Ask Me Anything” calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #nopayback #difficultpeople #whoareyou Edit

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorHIJACKAL® BLAMING? IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! Hijackals take no responsibility for anything they do. They refuse to be accountable. Yet, in order to pull that off, what has to happen? Everything has to be your fault! And, it’s not. The patterns that living with a Hijackal create are designed to wear you down, to tear you down, to make you second-guess yourself constantly. Now, though, because you’re listening here to me, you know that likely not one of those things were your fault. Never believe who a Hijackal says you are.Why? Because a Hijackal HAS to make you out to be wrong in every instance, so they can be right. If you’re taken my online course, Seeing the Cycles , you’ll know that a Hijackal MUST win, in every situation and conversation. Otherwise, they feel insecure, and you know they are not going to let that happen. Hijackals usually are nice in public and hellish at home. That’s why, when you tell someone close to you about the horrible Hijackal behavior, they don’t believe you. They don’t see that person! That feels like a betrayal of you, I know. I’ve been there. Hijackals project on to you the things they most fear are true about themselves. Blame, blame, blame. Listen today, and stop taking on the blame. Even if it came from a parent decades ago, you can do some work to rid yourself of the remnants, and be truly free of that nasty parental voice that runs at the back of your mind at your most stressful moments. Let’s work on that together. Today’s episode will give you insights into: why Hijackals have to blamewhy what they tell you about yourself is almost never truehow blaming parents can have damaged your self-esteem and how to get it backwhy freeing yourself from these blaming relationships is importanthow to re-establish your self-esteem after a Hijackal Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don’t take it in!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS…like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly “Ask Me Anything” calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy #noblame #itsnotyourfault

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor7 RED FLAGS THAT PERSON YOU’RE DATING IS TOXIC. RUN! So many people in my Facebook groups write about their fear of dating after being with a Hijackal. They are right to be concerned, and hopefully, that concern will lead them to getting the best help they can so they feel safe with themselves. Then, they will further develop their Hijackal Radar. That’s what I help them do when we work together through video conferencing. There are people who are momentarily difficult–like you or me on a bad day–and then, there are others who are relentless difficult. I call those ones #Hijackals ®. If you’ve been listening for awhile, or reading my articles, blogs, or books, you’re already well aware of that term. My definition of a Hijackal®: “A person who hijacks a relationship–for their own purposes–and relentlessly scavenges it for power, status, and control.” Familiar? Everyone has bad days. Everyone goes through rough patches. We’ve all been there. When it happens occasionally and completely unexpectedly, we know someone is “off their game.” With Hijackals, it happens more and more. And, usually just to the people they say they love the most. In fact, more specifically, usually to their partner or child. Even, their adult children! It could be an impossible to please parent. It could be a partner who set out to “get you,” and life has turned into one big “Gotcha!” These seven red flags to notice when dating can save you so much heartache later. So, whip off those rose-colored glasses and see these red flags for what they are: DANGER AHEAD! Get insights on:how Hijackals fool you when they are trying to “get you”why nothing is ever their fault, but everything becomes your faultwhy giving them more understanding, love, patience, care, or time will not helphow Hijackals erode your self-esteem and self-confidencewhat to do when you realize all this is trueHijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don’t take it in!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS…like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly “Ask Me Anything” calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorEVER FEEL LIKE A PRETZEL OR DOORMAT TRYING TO PLEASE A HIJACKAL®?Is there someone in your life who treats you poorly? Do you feel put-down, ignored, walked over, or taken advantage of? That’s not good. You want to be seen, heard, known, accepted, acknowledged, and appreciated. You know how I talk about this in my book, Kaizen for Couples? Well, it is not just for couples. It’s for every single person on the planet, and that means you, too! It will help you change your relationship with yourself, while gathering strong skills to communicate well, manage conflict effectively, and create rich emotional intimacy. If that’s not the kind of relationship you’re having with someone, then it’s time to change that. It’s time to get up on your back legs and say “NO!” and “NO MORE!” It’s time to strengthen your boundaries. If you were raised by a #Hijackal, a relentlessly difficult person, you’ve likely been trampled on so frequently that you learned that it’s often safer to just lie there. Time to get up! Boundaries frighten and inflame Hijackals. No question. But, you’re not just going to lie there and take what they dish out are you? No, I’m not suggesting that you get in their face, and fight back. Something more powerful! In today’s episode, I’m giving you some reasons and strategies for simply standing your ground without drama. Will the #Hijackal provide more drama? Sure. But, you won’t. What the Hijackal does is on him or her! Your emotional health and emotional well-being is directly related to your ability–and your willingness–to manage your boundaries. Could they use shoring up? Today’s episode will definitely help with that. Get insights on:what to do when a person violates your spacehow to respond when a person gets too close to fasthow to tell someone to back offwhy you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you want them to step backhow to give voice to non-negotiable boundariesHijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don’t take it in! I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS…like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly “Ask Me Anything” calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorHOW WILL I FEEL WHEN I’M LEAVING A HIJACKAL?Whether that person has passive-aggressive, narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, or histrionic behaviors or tendencies, you need to know that you’re going to have a totally mixed bag of opposing feelings on the day–and for a few weeks after–you leave. It’s natural and normal. Leaving a toxic situation can be a double-edged sword: there is freedom and peace, and there is anxiety and loss. You’ll experience both. Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal. Now, you’re choosing health, peace, well-being, and self-esteem for yourself and your children. That’s why you have made the decision to leave, and I know you’ve thought a lot about it. You likely thought for a long that, if only you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse the bad behavior, the Hijackal would relax, change, even love you. You thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don’t change…for the better!Today, I want you to know what to expect when you are leaving, and just after. I’m using my personal story because it taught me a whole lot. I hope it helps you, too. Leaving is not easy except where there is sexual or physical abuse. Even then, some people stay longer than is healthy. Now, you’re on your way to a new life. Yahoo! A few highlights of today’s episode:It’s normal to be scared.It’s natural to second-guess your decision.You will live.You’ll do the samba: two steps forward and one back many times.You’ll live.Things will get better.You will walk through SO many emotions, but keep walking! You’ll live…lol. Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #leavinganarcissist

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT POSSIBLE YOU’RE ENABLING A TOXIC PARTNER? TIME TO STOP! VERY IMPORTANT! NO BLAME HERE! Do not blame yourself, or take on any blame, if you listen today and realize you’re been enabling your toxic partner to continue to behave badly. S/he was going to do it anyway. You didn’t cause it. You are a good person, who simply didn’t have an impact when you said no. So, now you’ve been worn down, and torn down, by their bad behavior. Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal. S/he thought there was a good chance that you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse their bad behavior. You likely did…because you are a good person, and you thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don’t change…for the better! Today, I’m talking about “enabling.” Here’s a definition that makes it clear: Enabling is the behavior of protecting others from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behaviorThat’s where the excusing, rationalizing, and justifying come in. You give them more than enough rope to hang themselves, and instead, they hang you! A few highlights of today’s episode: Eight identifiable behaviors of Hijackals that you may be unwittingly enabling Why it may feel like the toxic person, the Hijackal, treats you in a “Come closer. Stay away.” kind of way Why enabling will NEVER get you the relationship you want: the one with honesty, safety, respect, trust, and reliability that I talk about in Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship Why you want to stop enabling and learn the strategies to empower yourself BEFORE you announce you are leaving Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.I hope this help you see that more clearly.If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #amIanenabler

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor3 BIG REASONS WHY HIJACKALS® NEVER STOP AND WHY YOU MUST! Hijackals put you down, wear you down, and tear you down. They have to, in their minds because, at deep levels, you are THE competition!You are not, but they behave as though you are. And, no amount of assuring them, caring for them—or pandering to them—will change this. So, you have to change, because they won’t! Today, I’m giving you three reasons that you’ll easily see in your relationship that the Hijackal is crushing you. You know this, and I want to put a spotlight on it for you.Can you admit these to yourself? That’s the first step. You need to be able to say a clear “Yes!” not a “Yes, but…” with an excuse, justification, or rationalization of the crazy-making behavior.Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.I hope this help you see that more clearly.If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitions

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT ACTUALLY COMPETITION THAT’S RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP? ARE YOU MORE FRENEMIES THAN FRIENDS? There’s nothing attractive, compelling, or safe about competition in a relationship that is not on a playing field, in a pool, or a ring. It’s destructive and exhausting. VERY IMPORTANT to recognize if competition is what’s at the core of a relationship that doesn’t feel safe. Do you feel safe in your relationship? Are you relaxed and supported? You want to be, and need to be. If you’re not, it could well be that there is subtle (or overt!) competition that is undermining the relationship, and YOU. Are you and your partner a team? Can you, and do you, healthily rely on each other? You need to be able to! What’s your part in this? Time for self-reflection. These questions will help you clarify what part you might be playing to keep the competition going. It’s always wise to start with self-reflection first. Here are the questions I gave you in this episode to go over and think deeply about:Is there a way that I am inviting competition in my relationship by my words, my actions, my demeanor, or my stance in life, and in my relationship particularly? Do I turn everything into a debate?Is my first inclination to find fault, rather than see the good?When I’m really honest with myself, do I have a big need to be right?Am I only happy when I am winning?Am I on guard and look for ways to prove my partner is wrong?Do I have a glass half full or half empty outlook?How much of the time am I focused on what I appreciate and love about my partner?Is that enough?Do I have my back up and something to prove that keeps me concerned, vigilant, and on edge? VERY important questions. Maybe, you’ll now see some areas you could work on, rather than start by what you want fixed in your partner. Will you do that? Relationships are not competitions! If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitions

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorSpecial Conversation with ​ Johanna Lynn, Clinical HypnotherapistAll that happened to you in life affects everything that is currently happening in your life. If you are not getting the results in life and relationships that you want, then, you want to listen to this episode for sure. Unless you’ve had a reason or taken the time to think deeply about the home your grew up in, you might not recognize that you had a relentlessly difficult, toxic parent. If you did, the things you learned before you even could walk are affecting everything, on auto-pilot. That Hijackal parent taught you who you were and what to expect from life, and that parent lied to you. Really! MY GUEST Johanna Lynn, Part 1 – Inherited Family Ties and TraitsWhy are you comfortable being treated in ways that make you uncomfortable? Learn how your nervous system learned this. Families share operating systems, family patterns, family traits. Learn how your inner images of yourself and your family play out in your life now. Epigenetic patterns are real. Our inner images of self and family play out without our awareness. You need to know about this important information! It can clear up a lot of what has happened to you! Get Johanna’s free gift ebook, Be Good to Yourself HERETHEN, listen to Part 2 on the next episode of Save Your Sanity podcast when we’ll discuss emotionally unavailable parents and the issues they cause deep within us. Good news: those issues can be healed, and we can create loving, healthy, emotionally intimate relationships that not only last, but grow deeper and riches over time. If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97. New clients only.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH JOHANNA LYNN: Website: JohannaLynn.caFacebook: JohannaLynn.caTwitter: @johannalynnLinkedIn: JohannaLynnInstagram: connect_johannaCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #inheritedtrauma #trauma