Tag: silent treatment

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor12 DAMAGING WAYS YOUR NARCISSISTIC MOTHER LIED TO YOU ABOUT WHO YOU AREYou don’t have to wonder where your self-doubts came from if you were raised by a mother who had narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, or antisocial–Hijackal®–tendencies. She made sure you learned to walk on eggshells, second-guess yourself, and question your sanity! She would never let you feel good enough. Right? In fact, she competed with you every second, on some level. And, she always HAD to win! A narcissistic mother has to be at the top of the pile. She’ll make sure she stays there, too. So, where does that leave you? At the bottom somewhere. Now, yes, you may be what is called her “Golden Child,” the child who can do no wrong. She may haven one of those, especially if you have siblings. She may also choose on “Scapegoat Child,” the one who can NEVER do anything right. And, the other siblings will be lost in the mix. If your mom was like mine–and I was an only child–she just simple competed with me on every level all the time. So, how did she do that? By withholding approval, withholding acceptance, withholding affection, and withholding attention. It wasn’t that she could play the piano or do other things I did. She didn’t–and couldn’t compete there–but, she simply ran hot and cold about my abilities. Such a Hijackal! One minute, she’s telling the world about competitions I won and getting the credit for paying for all those music lessons, and the next, she’s telling me that it’s so annoying that I make so much noise practicing all the time. No-win situation! Today, I’m talking about twelve ways your narcissistic mother, your borderline mother, your histrionic mother, or your antisocial mother will have lied to you about who you are. They cannot help it. They just have to do it. And, at deep levels, you had no choice but to take it in and believe it. It was, and is, emotional abuse! Hijackals ® behave badly. They have an absolute need to have power and control over others. They are invested in keeping you down, controlled, and as powerless as possible. They feel they have done that when you are second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. When you’ve had a Hijackal mother, you have a lot of unpacking to do, to unearth and replace all the lies she told you about not being good enough, competent, capable, and more. Please take the time to do this. You matter, and your life can be so much more free, rewarding, and fulfilling when you don’t believe the lies your mother told you. You can have healthy relationships that are emotionally intimate, once you stop believing her. She was wrong! If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople  Edit

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor4 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF TO NOT MISS EMOTIONAL RED FLAGSDo you live on the edge, knowing that at any minute you could suffer from a stinger, a snide comment, or a cold shoulder from your partner, parent, or other difficult person? Are disdain and disapproval always waiting in the wings?Are you generally on-guard and waiting for the other shoe to drop? Those are feelings you have when you are with a toxic person, a relentlessly difficult person, a narcissist, a borderline, or other antisocial person. That’s why you NEED to listen to today’s episode to learn more. Today, I’m talking about four questions you need to ask yourself so that you will CLEARLY SEE RED FLAGS! Those flags can be infrequent, somewhat hidden, or some things you have unfortunately become too used to. Seeing them is the first step in making some big, positive changes to your relationship, first the one with yourself, and then with the partner. Do it to keep yourself away from emotional abuse, moving towards greater mental health! Hijackals ® behave badly. They have an absolute need to have power and control over others. They are invested in keeping you down, controlled, and as powerless as possible. They feel they have done that when you are second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. If that’s happening to you, this episode can help you clearly see that it is time for you to change your perspective, your attitude, and your strategies. You deserve to be loved and treated well. Start now! If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople  Edit

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor3 Empowering Responses to Backstabbers, Rhinos & Hijackals®Some days, it’s very tempting to not go to work because of the people who are there, right? When backstabbing, bullying, malicious gossip, and all the antics of toxic people are present, you have even more incentive to stay home.Maybe, meetings take place surreptitiously, or are changed without adequate warning so that some people miss them is a way this shows up where you work. And, similar things happen at home when there are difficult, toxic people there, too.Oh, yes, and Hijackals® and Rhinos like to take credit for things they did little or nothing to achieve, too! Sound familiar? What do you do then? Listen to these empowering strategies for ideas on your next best steps.Bullies at work? Oh, yeah! They’re there, and they wear you down and wear you out. You need these pro-active anti-bullying responses to feel safer around them…and more powerful. Because that’s the issue, isn’t it? They are there to make you believe they have power over you.Of course, if they are the boss, they do. Speak up to those over your boss. Or, if that’s not possible, you’ll be looking for a safer place to work now, right?When the bully is not the boss, though, you can first of all not tuck your tail between your legs and make yourself as invisible as possible. Yes, I know that might seem appealing–and with outrageous bullies that might be the only sane thing to do–however, when you make eye contact with them in a non-confronting way, you begin to take back your power.Power games? Yes, and remember the “game” part. If you don’t play, there is no game. If you can stay in “neutral” and not give an air of feeling intimated, it’s a very good start.Do you know the right path to speaking up about the bullying at work? Do you know what to say? Get good ideas and strategies in my Season 2, Episode 6 broadcast of 8 Strong Steps to Handle Bullies at Work.It’s common to feel intimidated by a bully at work. No one enjoys being around them! If you can rustle up some nonchalance, a good neutral stance, you’ll feel better and be more effective.You don’t want to feel like a wuss, a doormat, or turn yourself into a pretzel around a toxic person at work, right? You want to have effective responses that reduce your stress. Really practice daily these three responses for the next month. It WILL help.Think that bully might actually have bigger issues? Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com and find out. If s/he is a HIjackal, you need more strategies and insights and they’re there for you.If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor14 Questions To Ask To Know If It’s AbuseAs I mentioned in previous show notes, being in an abusive relationship–even minimally abusive–is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don’t notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You’re cooked!Coming to a place of recognizing abuse when it presents itself is a long journey for most people. Why? Because most people are good, willing to accept and go the extra mile, compassionate, and kind. When abusive behavior shows up, they are understanding at first. That’s when it starts going sideways! And, if it happened in your home when you were a child, you didn’t see it coming!Yes, it is wise to wait and see the patterns, traits, and cycles to be clear that what you’re experiencing is abusive. Many people can say one abusive thing, one time, in the heat of the moment. Abusive people do it WAY TOO FREQUENTLY!So, you HAVE to recognize the difference between a person who is momentarily going through a difficult time and is cranky, and an abusive person who has no regard for who you are, how you feel, or what you think, need, or want. In this episode, I list fourteen–fourteen!!!–questions you need to ask yourself? If the person you have in mind is doing any, or many, of these things, it’s time to wake up and smell the herbal tea. This person is being ABUSIVE! If you see patterns of behavior that are ones intended to dominate, control, or alienate others, these are signs of potential trouble. It only gets more serious from there.Think about these fourteen questions. If you recognize that these fourteen are things that are consistent in your relationship, it’s time to do something positive and healthy. You have likely been making excuses for them for awhile because they are confusing, and you want to err on the side of compassion. With Hijackals, that can only go so far. You can have compassion for them, but it is essential not to condone or enable their behaviors. For that to happen, you have to see the behaviors clearly for what they really are.You cannot risk your well-being, or that of your children, a moment longer. This is REALLY IMPORTANT!Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.comIf you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpIf you want my help, your first hour-long session as a new client is only $97, and available HERE. #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIs Your Hijackal® Partner Difficult, Or Actually Dangerous? Being with a Hijackal is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don’t notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You’re cooked! You want to believe that a Hijackal can change. In fact, most people in relationship with these difficult, toxic people are good people who want to believe that if they love, understand, be patient, nurture, and stand by these folks, things will get better. The likelihood of that happening is slim to none. Sure, it may happen for a week or two, but it won’t stick!So, you HAVE to recognize the difference between a difficult person, and a dangerous person. In this episode, I’m giving you six things that that you will have to do differently, and why that has to happen right now.If you see patterns of behavior that are ones intended to dominate, control, or alienate others, these are signs of potential trouble. It only gets more serious from there.Listen to learn about those critical six things. You have likely been making excuses for them for awhile because they are confusing, and you want to err on the side of compassion. With Hijackals, that can only go so far. You can have compassion for them, but it is essential not to condone or enable their behaviors. For that to happen, you have to see the behaviors clearly for what they really are.You cannot risk your well-being, or that of your children, a moment longer. This is REALLY IMPORTANT!Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory one-hour session, $97. #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor5 Telling Things People Say That Show Their Passive-Aggressive SidesWhen you experience passive-aggressive behavior from someone, it messes with your head. You question yourself. You second-guess yourself. It’s crazy-making. A passive-aggressive behavior pattern in someone leaves you feeling confused, second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. “Did I? Didn’t I? I thought I did. I thought we agreed. Didn’t we?” Sound familiar?You know about Hijackals® from my books and podcasts. One thing for sure is that all Hijackals are passive-aggressive, but not all passive-aggressive people are Hijackals. That’s important to note, because passive-aggression may be the only truly annoying this about the person.Once you can put your finger on what’s so annoying, you can set some boundaries, and communicate more clearly about what you need and want. That’s important with a passive-aggressive person.(If you’re wondering if the person you have in mind is actually passive-aggressive, I have a free checklist for you at PassiveAggressiveChecklist.com )These five things in today’s episode are “tells.” If someone does them more than once in a blue moon, you may be watching passive-aggression play out.Read my ebook, Stop! That’s Crazy-Making! How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game.Or, The Hijackal Trap: The Hidden Anger of Passive-Aggression . Both downloadable from Amazon.If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor8 STRONG STEPS TO HANDLE BULLIES AT WORK…AND, AT HOME. You feel bullied. You see others being bullied. It’s not right! Perhaps, you shy away. You sometimes take a day off to get away from the toxic environment.You are ready to stop this nonsense, and today, I’m going to give you some solid steps, some strong steps, to understand the bully, and know what is in your power to do about it.If this is a workplace bully, you may think that the bully should be management’s problem. True, however, management may not be doing anything about it. After all, they don’t have to work with this person every day, right? You do. So, you need to do something, too.Bullies may or may not be Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people I talk about here. It is possible that the bully is just a truly scared person who leads with their anger to avoid appearing weak. There are possibilities to consider.And, I’ve written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.A bully is afraid. It sounds strange, and it’s true. A bully is afraid that s/he will not be taken seriously, noticed, or made important enough, so they take on the job themselves. They really back themselves into a corner while trying to corner you!In today’s episode, I’m talking about what to do when you have to work with–or manage–a bully, person who goes out of his or her way to intimidate others. You cannot have that if you are in management. Productivity suffers and no one wants to come to work.You personally cannot let it just go, either. It will affect your health and well-being. You want to know the steps you can take to feel assertive and confident in the face of a bully. I know, that may not be where you want to step, but it’s better than avoiding, cowering, or quitting, right?Notice what you are feeling when you hear those eight strong steps: Do I lose my self-esteem around the bully? Am I just giving it away? That’s a possibility.Can I now see that I am letting the bully take away my right to be myself and stand strong?Do I need more skills to stand strong and avoid a clash of wills. Facts are facts. Stick to them.What do I need to do–what self-talk do I need–to do things more positively with the bully?What difference would it make if I listened to the bully to find something I could agree with?Am I willing to work on my issues, and shore up my skills to be happier every day with my willingness to be assertive?If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpJoin my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor7 WARNING SIGNS AND WAKE-UP CALLS THAT YOUR PARTNER MAY BE MORE THAN SELFISH You excuse. You rationalize. You justify. And, repeat. You think that if you are more understanding, loving, compassionate, or giving then the demands will stop. Not if you’re with a Hijackal®! That’s why it’s so important to know if that’s the case.And, I’ve written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.Having someone in your life who demands to be the center of attention is exhausting. Even if you just give in and let them have the limelight, you cannot help but have some resentment brewing within, and that’s exhausting.In today’s episode, I’m talking about verbal signs. In fact, I’ve given you seven things that a MORE THAN SELFISH person will say often, or at least, seem to be saying–or behaving–all the time. And, you don’t want to hear them. It makes you scream inside…if not outside, occasionally. And, that’s taking a toll on you.Notice what you are feeling when you hear those seven things. Do these selfish attitudes pop up often in your relationship with this MORE THAN SELFISH person?If it was/is a parent, can you recognize how this diminished you over the years?If it is your partner, do you feel less than, neglected, and screaming “What about me?” in your head?Is it a friend who always brings the conversation back to what’s up with them?Are you too used to living with the drama and now recognize a need for change?Do you drag my feel about changing your relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE. Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpJoin my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor4 SNEAKY SIGNS THAT MEAN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP TROUBLESomething is wrong. It’s off. It’s sideways. You may not be able to put your finger on it, so let me help.You may be used to these things, and that’s not a good thing! How did you get used to them? Maybe, a parent did them and you learned these ways so early on that, even though you hate it, you accept it.Time to change that. Once you really understand these four things, and TRULY ACCEPT that you cannot change them in the other person, then your life can improve by leaps and bounds. Yes, if you’ve been in the relationship for a long time, it might get nastier and messier for a while before it improves. Hijackals® don’t like to be actually seen! They don’t respond well to it.You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing–and often dangerous–people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. These four things are almost in their DNA: they will do them. They may do them actively and openly, or they may be covert and underhanded, but they’ll do them.Once you see these four signs, and actually believe that you cannot change them, you’ll begin to go and grow in a healthier direction. Sure, it may not be easy at first, but it will get so much better. I promise.Red flags? They are everywhere, but when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, those red flags are very hard to see. It takes real strength to whip those glasses off, once and for all. You’ll see clearly, even though you may not like what you see. That’s the beginning of coming into your own, to empowering yourself to stand strong.In today’s episode, I’m sharing four big signs that, once you let yourself see them for what they are, you will not be able to unsee them…unless, of course, you slip into denial and allow yourself to keep on being demeaned, discounted and distressed. You won’t do that, will you?Think about these four signs in today’s podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How’s that working for you? Whether that’s your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what’s really going on. And, when you’re being hurt, you want to see clearly, stand up for yourself, and say “No more!”Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:Am I letting these behaviors go unchecked in my relationship?Did a parent treat me this way, so demeaning behavior somehow feels “normal?”If someone always has to win and it isn’t me, am I willing to allow this to carry on?Have I been in denial about this because I don’t know what my next best steps are?Do I drag my feel about changing my relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?Start with yourself. If you need help with this, I’m here for you. I’ve done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.You can make it stop. Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpJoin my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor12 THINGS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS DO, BUT DON’T OFTEN REALIZE. You want to be seen, know, loved, and valued. Of course, you do. Yet, you may be afraid to really enter into relationships. One way people think protects them from intimacy is to adopt passive-aggressive behaviors.You push people away with passive-aggressive behaviors, right when you’re longing for them to come closer. The good news is that you can change. And, if the passive-aggressive behaviors belong to someone else, you can learn how to recognize what’s going on and make some changes. That’s what today’s podcast is all about.You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing–and often dangerous–people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. Well, all Hijackals are passive-aggressive, but not all passive-aggressive people are Hijackals. That’s good news, because you might have been thinking otherwise.In today’s episode, I’m sharing twelve things–twelve infuriating things–that passive-aggressive people do that can drive others crazy. And, unfortunately, can drive them away.I mentioned my free PassiveAggressiveChecklist.com site, where you can dive deeply into learning more about yourself or that person whose crazy-making behaviors are causing you to wonder if you want to be around them. Understanding what is passive-aggressive, and what is not is the best place to start. The Checklist is in-depth. In fact, it has two parts. When you complete the first and you recognize you need to know more, the checklist generates a second checklist for you to complete. It’s a really effective learning tool. Think about these twelve things in today’s podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How’s that working for you? Whether that’s your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what’s really going on.Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:Do I ever behave in any of these ways?How do I currently respond when others behave like this?Is it serving me? Is it serving them?Am I completely kind and honest in my communications?Do I tell the truth–again kindly and honestly–when asked for my opinion, or whether or not I’ll do something?Do I drag my feet once I’ve agreed to do something? Does someone I care about?How can I release my own passive-aggressive tendencies?Start with yourself. Then, learn to manage passive-aggressive behaviors and relationships. I’ve done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE. You can make it stop. Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpJoin my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest