Tag: spiritual abuse

Verbal Violators in any work situation make working together next to impossible. At a minimum, they make you cringe, avoid, and prefer to take sick days over going to work.In my book, Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work, I talk about folks who commit “malpractice of the mouth!” Those are verbal violators, verbal abusers. These folks have control issues that lead to anger issues that lead to rage and lack of reason. And, they think they’re right.You know that I talk about my term, Hijackals®. Those are the difficult, the relentlessly difficult people in life who just have to run everything, including their mouths! Well, you meet them at work, too.In today’s episode, I’m giving you some thoughts on how to proceed when you’re around folks whose “mouths enrage before their minds engage” as I say in Wrestling Rhinos.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Three things that definitely cause verbal violence to eruptTwo things that must happen to make the working environment safe for allWhat to do if you are the violatorHow to speak up and set boundaries if you’re being violatedI hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and:access to my Optimize Circlesmy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” callsat least monthly insightful webinarYou can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/CirclesCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #verbalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork #verbalabusers #verbalviolence #conflictmanagement #angermanagement

Is your relationship one-sided? Are you wondering if it’s you? Does your partner have to “win” always? Is everything your fault? You’re already confused, just the way a Hijackal® wants you to be. A Hijackal is a person who behaves in ways that are common to people considered to have narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, or antisocial behavior patterns. I created the term, Hijackals, so that you would have a way of talking about the behaviors without trying to make a diagnosis. You simply need to know the signs so that you clearly know what’s really going on in your relationship.Hijackals love to reel you in with what is called “love-bombing.” They have the ability to seem to be all that you ever wanted, your perfect partner, your soulmate. Then, once you’ve committed to them–and, oh, they’re fast to want you to move in, marry, get pregnant–so that they can give up their false front and go back to being their real selves. Nasty, right?For today’s episode, I’m reading my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, which you can download HERE. You know if you’re with a toxic, difficult person. Believing it is another matter. Most good people actually hope and believe that they can be more loving, kind, compassionate, patient, forgiving, compromising, ______, and then the HIjackal will change. S/he will change because they will finally believe they are loved.NO! It doesn’t work that way. Hijackals simply always want more…until you are worn down, torn down, and put down and there is nothing left of you, your self-esteem, or self-confidence.LISTEN TO THIS OVER AND OVER AND LET IT SINK WAY IN! It could be that you had a HIjackal parent, and all this bad behavior on the part of a current partner or ex seemed somehow normal. NO! It isn’t. HINT: Listen again if you need to.I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and:access to my Optimize Circlesmy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” callsat least monthly insightful webinarYou can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #MHNRNetwork

Oh, that’s crazy-making, right?You try to talk about your feelings and you get shut down?In today’s episode, I give you insights into this whole nasty process of being blamed for being overly sensitive when you’re actually speaking up for yourself when attacked.You know what I’m talking about. IT HURTS!Are you told that you’re being overly sensitive too often? Hijackals® can be brutal. Nothing can be their fault, so everything has to be yours. When they want to put you down, and keep you down, they tell you how hopeless, useless, and worthless you are in SO many nasty, overt AND underhanded ways, right?And, when you speak up for yourself, they tell you that you are overly sensitive, that you have a thin skin.Or, the worst, that they were just kidding! You know so well they were not, but you also know that they take absolutely no responsibility for anything they do or say, so everything has to be your fault.Speak up for yourself, and a #Hijackal will say anything to squish you like a gnat! Today, I’m giving you insights into this nasty behavior, and a very good practice for how to respond effectively…over time.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why telling you constantly that you’re overly sensitive is abusiveWhat’s really going on this dynamic between you at that timeWhat to practice saying to yourself to get ready to respond wellHow to speak up effectively for yourself…and, it works!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and:access to my Optimize Circlesmy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” callsat least monthly insightful webinarYou can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #communication #overlysensitive #speakuptoabuse #highlysensitive

Has your partner every just stopped talking to you when things weren’t going his or her way? Or, when you weren’t doing exactly as s/he wanted?And, then, the next things: THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT! The silent treatment is punishing, punitive, and often the way a person who wants power over you thinks they can control you. Sometimes, though, that other person–or, maybe, you–don’t have the skills or confidence to manage conflict in any other way. Why do people use the silent treatment? They want to demonstrate power over youThey think you’ll give in if they hold out long enoughThey want to punish you by withholding love or intimacy of any kindThey lack skills to communicate about difficult things…and they won’t risk trying.They are afraid they’ll lose, so they don’t start the conversation. Any of those sound familiar? It’s not uncommon for people to get scared, and then, get very defensive. That often even escalates into anger. Things can get very touchy! People will react in out-of-proportion ways when they are feeling their self-worth is attacked, or in jeopardy. That’s often when they pull of that move: the dread silent treatment! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:You can learn better ways to communicate whether you do the silent treatment, or you’re on the receiving endFind out what’s driving that silent treatmentFind the willingness to listen without judgment or defensivenessWhat emotionally mature people do when conflict arises I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and:access to a Emotional Savvy Circlemy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” callsYou can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #stress #self-care #emotionaldistressHIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why you may not think you need to take good care of yourselfWhat does it really mean to be selfishWhy being selfish is not a bad thing when it comes to self-careMany questions to deeply think about, even journal about, to help you consider taking super good care of yourself in every wayI hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and:access to a Emotional Savvy Circlemy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” callsat least monthly insightful webinar You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #communication #silenttreatment

Do you ever try to downplay your need for great self-care? If you’re like many folks–too many folks–you likely do! You may have been raised to believe that you should be ok, power through, and need nothing. You may have been told that other people are more important than you are, and that you are a good person when you put other people first…all the time! NO! Not good. Always putting yourself at the end of your list is DEFINITELY NOT GOOD! . You may well become a tired, isolated, worn down, and resentful person, though! That’s definitely not good. You see the pattern immediately, don’t you? You feel tired, and then, because a parent or someone told you that you should put other people first, you push yourself well beyond your limits. You “think you should!” ARGH! No, you shouldn’t. Sure, there are crises and you might have to push through, real emergencies. But, really, those are few and far between. Not much is a crisis or an emergency, but too many people live as though everything is. If you’re with, or were raised by, a Hijackal, that’s how they want you to think the world works. And, Hijackals® are absolutely delighted to create crisis and emergency, after disaster and destruction. Exhausting! Sounding familiar? I had to learn all this the hard way, too. You deserve to be healthy. That’s your job. Do it for yourself. I’m giving you lots of food for thought this week, and next week, I’ll add even more to help you think about how you really want to feel, think, live, and love.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE:Why you may not think you need to take good care of yourselfWhat does it really mean to be selfishWhy being selfish is not a bad thing when it comes to self-careMany questions to deeply think about, even journal about, to help you consider taking super good care of yourself in every wayI hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and:access to a Emotional Savvy Circlemy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” callsYou can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #stress #self-care #emotionaldistress

Any chance that you’re getting your exercise by walking on eggshells?That’s a tense, anxiety-ridden, stressful way to get your exercise. Exercise is supposed to make you feel better. Walking on eggshells certainly won’t!Whether the #Hijackal you’re with is of the narcissistic, sociopathic, passive-aggressive, histrionic, or borderline variety, keeping you on edge is their specialty. When you are on edge, they feel powerful, right? That means they are scooping up your power, and it’s time to stop letting them.But, how? In today’s episode, I give you four BIG ways that you must stop Hijackals from taking your power. Yes, they are four “big buckets,” HUGE BUCKETS, and I realize that. They are not quick or easy, but I wanted to put them into your thoughts today. I’ll elaborate on each of them in further episodes, I promise.Toxic people need control! It’s what feeds them, and keeps them going. You know that’s true, because when they don’t get it, they explode! If they are overt, they go off like a roman candle. If they are covert, they are masters of The Silent Treatment. You know these!Time for it to stop. They won’t stop, so stopping is up to you!I know, it’s unfair. But, it’s your life, and you have to take it back.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY’S EPISODE: How to recognize the toxic behaviors of toxic peopleWhat you might be telling yourself that prevents you from putting a stop to toxic behaviors4 BIG undertakings for you to stop walking on eggshellsWhy you need to do this now: P.S. You cannot stop any younger!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and:access to a Emotional Savvy Circlemy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” callsYou can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/ESCCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders #stopwalkingoneggshells

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorEMOTIONAL ABUSE: WHAT IT IS AND ITS IMPACT ON YOUR LIFEAbuse is any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation, or denial, it is abuse, emotional abuse. When you were little, your brain was still growing. You instinctively knew that you had to keep your parents–The Giants–happy so that they would feed and protect you. At least, that’s what you hoped. Many children, though, are emotionally abused. As adults, they often don’t really see it and its impact on their lives and relationships. Today, I want to highlight some very real forms of emotional abuse that might have just seemed normal to you. After all, that’s the only childhood you had! You had nothing to compare it to. And, you may have so wanted your home to seem normal. Children are too often made to feel wrong, blamed, and not good enough. That’s emotional abuse, but emotional abuse is SO much more. You need this information so that you can immediately pick up on emotional abuse from your partner, boss, parents, or even friends. Once you’ve become used to it, you often put up with it on all fronts. I hope today’s episode will cause you to deeply recognize what’s going on, or has gone on. Today’s episode will give you insights into:7 kinds of emotional abuse you may not have recognized. Thanks to PreventChildAbuse.orgExamples from my practice: anonymous stories that can help you understand even moreThe impact of emotional abuse on your life and relationships that you may not have realizedThings you really need to think about that could be keeping you from living fully and freelyHow you view the world with new eyes out for spotting emotional abuse and stopping it I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK? You can have that, and:access to a Emotional Savvy Circlemy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” callsYou can get most of this for the price of one latte a month!ForRelationshipHelp.com/EmotionalSavvyCircleCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorders

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor3 ASSERTIVE THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR PARTNER REFUSES TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY It’s so infuriating, right? A difficult partner, or parent, refuses to take responsibility for anything that isn’t praise-worthy. S/he will step right in if they can take credit for something good, though. But, when something goes sideways, it’s all you, all your fault , right? You don’t mean to, but you may well be enabling that difficult person, that #Hijackal. Enabling is something you can stop doing! That’s the good news. You deserve better than a relationship that keeps you down, and supposedly responsibility for all sorts of things that you didn’t do, think, or say! Today’s episode will give you insights into:why Hijackals® have to make everything your faultwhat you can do within yourself to stop enabling poor behaviorwhat to say when a Hijackal makes things your fault, especially things that aren’t at all.eight questions to ask yourself about the patterns in your abusive relationshipwhy it is essential to get help as soon as you canI hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY GROUP AWAY FROM FACEBOOK? You can have that: access to a Emotional Savvy Circlemy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly “Ask Me Anything” calls You can get most of this for the price of one latte a month! ForRelationshipHelp.com/EmotionalSavvyCircle CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #difficultpeople #enablingabuse #takesnoresponsibility

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorTRAUMA-BONDING: Why You Create Toxic Bonds and How To Release ItA conversation between me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, and Dr. Gary Salyer, author of the upcoming book, Safe to Love Again. Are you so attached to someone that you are “hooked on hope” that one day they will treat you better? That’s really common, and a bit difficult to step away from, I know. That “hooked on hope” can erode into trauma-bonding.What is trauma-bonding? “the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person.”*1″a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence.”*2Now that you see those, do you relate that to what has happened to you with a partner, parent, or ex?Trauma-bonding is a real thing! And you can do something about it. That’s what Dr. Gary Salyer and I discuss today. You need to know this, for yourself, your children, and your friends, too.Guest, Dr. Gary Salyer, talks about the six rights you have in life, and how having or not having them will make all the difference in creating healthy relationships. Dr. Salyer is the author of Safe to Love Again, an upcoming book that can uplift you if you’ve ever been deeply hurt by a relationship.More about Dr. Gary SalyerDr. Gary Salyer speaks to audiences across the country as a featured expert, inspirational speaker on how to create the love we all deserve. He is an expert in Attachment Theory, the science of relationships, Bert Hellinger’s Family Systems approach and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). As a master transformational relationship coach, Dr. Gary helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains.Dr. Salyer is the creator of the Safe to Love Again™ Workshop and the Extraordinary Couples™ and Extraordinary Singles™ Retreats. He is also a highly sought after guest on various podcasts, TV and radio shows such as The Aware Show on Hay House Radio.Smart, savvy, professional women in their thirties, forties and fifties who are tired of the heartache in their love lives are resonating with the message of ‘safe to love again.’ Gary’s biggest passion is to help both singles and couples discover how they can have a loving sweetheart lying beside them at night, rather than a lonely pillow or a frustrated, distant partner.Today’s episode will give you insights into:why you might have been been susceptible to trauma-bondingwhat is secure attachmentwhat is insecure attachmenthow you can see more clearly and step away from your abuserwhy it is important to realize that this is emotional abuse Find Dr. Salyer at GarySalyer.com, Facebook You can pre-order his new book, Safe To Love Again, on his website. I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? BE A PATREON SUPPORTER AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS…like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly “Ask Me Anything” calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #difficultpeople #enablingabuse #scaredtoleavemyabuser #DrGarySalyer*1 Samsel, Michael (2008). “Trauma Bonding”. www.abuseandrelationships.org. Michael Samsel LMHC. Archived from the original on May 10, 2018*2Wendy Austin; Mary Ann Boyd. Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing for Canadian Practice. Lippincott Williams & Wilkins; 1 January 2010. ISBN 978-0-7817-9593-7. p. 67.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor10 REASONS YOU MAY HAVE FOR NOT WALKING AWAY FROM YOUR ABUSERCould any of these things be true? Your relationship is bad. And, you don’t want to admit it. You keep hoping that things will get better.You make excuses for your partner’s outbursts.You believe your abuser when s/he says you are nothing worth having, and no one else would want you. You hang onto the last time you heard “I love you” and fool yourself that it is true. Any of these sound familiar? You’re not alone. And, these aren’t even the ten reasons in today’s episode! Who wants to believe they are being abused? Yet, you are being abused. And, yes, that is the only word that covers it. S/he is not going through a bad time, stressed, depressed, or repressed. S/he is like that most of the time, and wants you to think it’s your fault, right? Well, it isn’t your fault that s/he is unhappy, nor is it your fault that they are angry, upset, yelling, stomping, or threatening.It also isn’t your fault if s/he is frozen and giving you the dreaded Silent Treatment.All those are choices your partner, parent, friend, or co-worker is making in response to their lives. They could choose differently but they don’t because they want to make you believe it’s all your fault. And also, being Hijackals, they will take responsibility for nothing, nor be accountable for anything. So, today’s episode gives you ten reasons you may be using in your head that may be keeping you in an abusive situation. Once your recognize the truth in them you can change all that. It won’t be easy, but it is best. You can have a healthy life! Today’s episode will give you insights into:why you don’t want to recognize the abusewhat scares you about actually calling it the abuse it ishow you have been groomed to put up with the emotional abuse, and verbal abusehow the Hijackal reinforces your fears about leavingthe real facts about what’s real and what’s not about leavingHijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! It’s SO important not to respond with toxicity to them. Most important reason: you won’t like yourself when you do!I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I’m here for you.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? BE A PATREON SUPPORTER AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS…like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly “Ask Me Anything” calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That’s a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #nopayback #difficultpeople #whoareyou #enabling abuse #reasonswhyyoustay #scaredtoleavemyabuser