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12 Signs You Are in a Love/Hate Relationship And Need Help

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorThere is something wrong, something off, in your relationship. You can feel it, and you may not be quite able to put words to it, to describe it to yourself even. Yet, you know it’s not right!Good start! Go with your gut!Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing–and often dangerous–people, have “tells.” Those are the signs that you need to see as early as possible…even if that happens after you’ve been with them for ten years. Or, if you were born to them and only see it all now!In today’s episode, I’ll help you see how what you thought were the great traits of the person, are NOT what’s real about them. Sad, right? You fell in love with Prince or Princess Charming, and now you’ve got the Prince or Princess of Darkness. So disappointing!If you’re like most people whom Hijackals target, though, you’ll do your very best to make excuses for their bad behavior, to rationalize and justify it. You’ll dance as fast as you can to do the best you can, and yet, it will never be good enough. When you’re with a Hijackal, everything–and I mean everything–will be your fault. Familiar?These twelve signs are explained in today’s podcast. (There are more, and I’ll save them for further discussion in other episodes.)See these twelve signs. Think about these twelve signs. How many are present in your relationship with the Hijackal, whether that’s your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, co-worker?Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen: What makes me want to believe what they say?Why do I not trust my gut, my intuition?Do I ever really get a straight answer from the Hijackal?Am I always backing down or apologizing?Do I ever feel safe in my relationship with them?Am I always feeling discounted, blamed, or worse, degraded?Do they care what I think or how I feel?Why do I think it’s my job to please them?These answers will lead you to a more healthy, balanced place now that you’ve heard the twelve signs in today’s podcast.You can make it stop. Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE. I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help Doctor ForRelationshipHelp.com YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

6 Subtle Signs You’re Being Manipulated and How To Stop It

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorDon’t you just hate it when you feel manipulated? That’s what happens far too often when you have a Hijackal in your life. And, you hope for better, but nothing really seems to change.Today, I’m talking about six subtle signs to watch for, signs that you are being manipulated. They’re tricky to spot because…well…you’re not a Hijackal! You don’t think that way. So, they are important to know about.People who MUST manipulate do it because that’s the only way they know to survive. Unfortunately, you are expected to accept it, settle for it, and allow it.In today’s episode, I hope you’ll see that you have the right–and the responsibility–to step up and speak up. You know, though, that that often leads to arguments, threats, and, far too often–the silent treatment. So, do the work I’m talking about in this episode first, within yourself.See these six signs. Then, notice what you can do to make it stop. These are things for you to change within yourself, not creating change in the Hijackal. That doesn’t often happen. So, do these things to SAVE YOUR SANITY!Stop wanting their approval.Stop being addicted to their drama.Stop living up to their expectationsStop letting your boundaries slip. I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.Talk soon.RhobertaWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Dating Red Flags to Watch For

Sometimes they are hard to see… they don’t really look red, or they’re not very big… But don’t ignore them. This quick episode will identify major red flags you NEED to pay attention to.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Raised by a Hijackal, a Toxic, Difficult, Even Narcissistic Parent?

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorToday. I talk about what happens if you’re raised by a toxic, difficult person. What are some of the things that you might look at within yourself and:the way your life is goingthe way your relationships are goingthe way you feel about yourselfthe way you expand or contract in the worldThat might have its basis in being raised by a difficult toxic parent somewhere deep down inside yourself.You know you’re not quite fine. You might say you are, but you know you’re not and maybe you can’t even put your finger on how you know you’re not. So I wanted to offer some things today that might help you understand that. Deep down in there, there are some beliefs. I’m going to talk about five of them that you might just examined and see if they’re true for you.This can help you understand what a horrible gift your Hijackal parent gave you.I created the term, Hijackals, for those people who hijack relationships for their own purposes and then scavenge them for power, status and control. A lot of parents fall into that category, so these might be good for you to work through and replace because they’re mistaken beliefs about yourself. They were about the Hijackal, not about you.Your brain grows until you’re in your mid twenties, but by then, you’re on a path and you may not even take time to examine what has happened to you. You think “It’s just what I do,” “It’s just where I’m going and with whom,” and you don’t really recognize the impact of all that happened from the time your brain started developing, and that’s huge.Particularly what happened to us in the first two, three years of life makes a huge difference!So think about these:What was going on in your house before you even had language?Who was there?Were they happy you were?Were they annoyed by your presence?You were there, a baby experiencing life by putting everything in your mouth, exploring everything you could touch and trying to make those giants whom you needed to keep you alive, interested and happy. You smiled and you laughed and you made encouraging noises, trying to attract them. That didn’t work.So you cried and they responded, but how did your parents respond?Were they loving?Did they come in time?Were they happy?Were they warm?Were they concerned about you or did they give you a feeling that you were a nuisance?Did you feel like you should make yourself small, not take up space?These things make a big difference in how you feel about yourself as an adult, AND how you are able to create healthy relationships. So many beliefs you may have about yourself now, as an adult, that stem from how your Hijackal parent treated you in your early life, long before you had language. That really matters!I encourage you to spend time and reflect on this episode, and how it played out in your own life. If your parent is judgmental, critical, and competitive, it will ring true!And, I invite you to read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com and find out. If s/he is a HIjackal, you need more strategies and insights and they’re there for you.If you need help with this, I’m here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let’s talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Divorcing a Hijackal® Tips

Aside from the co-parenting, there are other details its important to say mindful and aware of when divorcing a Hijackal and you share children. Protecting your children’s emotional and mental health needs to be top of the list in this process.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Kids & Hijackal® Parents

What You Need To Do For Your Kids When Co-Parenting With A Hijackal® ExWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior, Really?

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Finding Clarity in the Midst of Hijackal® Chaos

Recognizing when a Hijackal is trying to control you – especially when you feel like it’s “normal” – is an important skill to getting your personal power and sense of self BACK. This archive audio is from Dr. Shaler’s Dec 12/2016 Facebook Live video – which you can also watch here: https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor/videos/1108716749241004/Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

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