Tag: courage

About six weeks ago, I did an episode about feeling sorry for myself. Since then, I’ve seen how that applies to me and how feeling sorry for oneself affects many people. I’ve come to understand a number of related topics, including Personal Power, which I discuss in this episode.

Highlights

Step 1 in dealing with feeling sorry for yourself is to recognize the emotion and when it is coming up for you.
I’ve come to realize how very different each one of us is and how there’s no way to truly understand what goes on inside of other people. The only one who can fully understand you is you.
Many of our relationships are based on our wanting to be like other people.
You have created your life outcomes, which indicates how powerful you really are.
In our society, we haven’t learned how to embrace our differences as well as our similarities.
I realize that you can never fully understand everything about me and what I’m actually feeling. But you can relate to what I’m saying.
If we can each understand our differences, not just our similarities, we could live more peacefully with each other.
To be comfortable with who you are, it’s important to accept how much power you have.
In America, we have a huge amount of diversity, but a lot of people don’t want that diversity and don’t see its value.
To stop feeling sorry for ourselves, we have to stop feeling like victims.
When you start feeling powerless, examine your options and take action.
When you’re looking at yourself, it can be hard to go deep and you may be seeing yourself from a negative point of view.
This process can be complicated.
Are you willing to look at yourself without thinking that who you are being and what you’re doing is wrong? Are you willing to go through a little bit of discomfort in order to move in a positive direction?

Links
If you’d like to talk to me about how you can release your personal power, click here

How Feeling Sorry for Yourself Affects Your Life Outcomes – TPS451

In this episode, David Newkirk and I continue our conversation about how he integrates spirituality and intuition into his consulting work. He also describes the work his company, Adept6, does with his clients. David’s work with corporate clients goes deeper with individuals within an organization than most consultants.

Highlights

More people within the business world are now becoming more open to understanding their own behavior and how that affects their business outcomes.
Leaders who are looking for help are aware that methods they’ve used before have not worked.
Good leaders are willing to look at their behaviors and other internal elements that affect their decisions rather than resisting the change.
David helps people see how their decisions develop and what they need to do to make better decisions and improve relationships.
Only a small number of people are ready to do the kind of work that David does and he believes that people who are drawn to his type of approach will find him. He often gets referrals from people who have experienced his work.
David explains what Adept6, the name of his business means, and the six things that he focuses on. He explains how the results his clients get using his methods are longer-lasting than when traditional methods are used.
We talk about how, as a consultant, it’s necessary to pay attention to the whole human being in each of the team members, including how their emotional habits are affecting their decisions.
David’s intuitive abilities have allowed him to work in diverse organizations on a deep level.
What you put out there creates a vibration that draws in what you’re looking for. We talk about the advantages of getting yourself in the right place and waiting to see what shows up.
Don’t treat people as transactions.
When David meets new potential clients, he makes clear how his mind works so they can understand where they might go together and if that works for them.
Because he can intuit the potential outcome of a client’s actions, David has to gently present what he sees in a way that will allow the client to make a good decision.
Identify blind spots, remove complexity, and empower the client to be successful on their own.

Links
David Newkirk’s email at dnewkirk@ethosconsults.com

David Newkirk’s website: www.ethosconsults.com

David Newkirk: Bringing Spirituality Into His Business Consulting Part 1

As Principal and Founder of Ethos Consulting, David Newkirk brings over 30 years of experience working in large corporations, small privately owned companies and business start-ups. His work has been a source of innovative thinking that has changed how industries and business leaders adapt to the ongoing dynamic changes impacting them. The innovation has led to his creation of ADEPT6, a program that is changing how businesses adapt and make changes to sustain growth and profitability.

Highlights

David explains how the essence of his spirituality expresses itself through his business and how he defines spirituality.
When we are in unconditional love, we accept people for who they are in the moment.
Unconditional love is a choice we make.
Asking if someone is spiritual is passing judgement.
David talks about his wide experience in business and how that has helped him develop strategies for companies.
Because of his meditation practices, David is able to see and understand a wide picture that can help companies solve problems.
Everything is energy and energy is always in motion and everything in life is energy. When we open up our intuition, each of us has a separate way of translating what we see.
No one has more or less intuition, there are just different levels of development.
Meditation is about setting up a way of being.
The art of meditation is about observing and receiving.
Enlightenment isn’t a state of being to achieve.
We talk about purpose.
Because you have freedom of choice, you can’t have regrets.

Links
David’s consulting site: www.ethosconsults.com

David’s meditation site: www.LightWarriorUnited.com

David on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ethosconsults/

A lot of business people, including those who are successful, often deal with stress, overwhelm, and worry. My goal has always been to be able to run my business without stress and to experience ongoing peace of mind. In this episode, I discussed how to achieve this state of peace of mind.

Highlights

It takes a while to decide who you are, who you want to be, and what you want to do with your life.
When you reach a place of peace, you’ll be happier, healthier, and more productive without pushing yourself.
You have to learn how to “read” the inner signals that help you discriminate between what you need and what you don’t need.
If your goal is to experience success and peace of mind, you have to make the decision to do that.
The question isn’t what do you want to do, but who do you want to be.
Are you aware of the emotions that are driving you?
The difference between happiness and contentment is the corresponding brain chemicals.
Is it possible to live in a state of gratitude, acceptance, and satisfaction?
I was guided to learn to experience equanimity rather than getting hyper-excited about what was going on in my life.
You can train yourself to be in that state of equanimity, which allows you to live your life without stress.
Peace of mind requires a habit of acceptance and satisfaction and getting there, requires being aware of the habitual emotions that keep you from getting there.
This requires practicing and developing self-awareness and deciding what you want to be feeling instead of what you’re feeling now.
You have many different aspects of your personality. It takes a while to recognize which one of your aspects you’re being at any moment.
The system that I teach is about developing new responses to familiar stimuli so that things that normally trigger you no longer do.
One of the ways of becoming aware of your current emotional responses is through your money. I explain.
Start noticing the kinesthetic experience in your body any time you’re dealing with money. Do you feel contracted or expanded?
You can decide how you want to feel.
What will it take for you to be okay in this moment?

Links
TPS episode on Empathetic Detachment

The Hacking of the American Mind by Robert H Lustig, M.D., MSL

To set up an appointment to talk to me click here

Daniel Z. Lieberman is the author of The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity?and Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race. He is a professor and vice chair for clinical affairs in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at George Washington University,  a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, and a recipient of the Caron Foundation Research Award. In addition to writing science books, he works with patients, teaches medical students, and does behavioral research.

Highlights

All of our wealth comes from new ideas, so it helps to understand how the brain works.
Lieberman talks about the basics of why dopamine is so important.
Dopamine is so much more than just the pleasure molecule.
Dopamine is not about contentment or satisfaction because those emotions don’t stimulate us to seek more. Dopamine is the transmitter of anticipation.
People who have highly active dopamine systems are more likely to be entrepreneurs, artists, and to suffer from mental illness.
Dopamine leads to pleasure, but not happiness or satisfaction. That comes from other brain chemicals.
We talk about the reward prediction error and how it can lead to disappointment.
Some people go into things with low expectations. With low expectations, you are apt to get more positive feelings when things work out well.
If you always expect the best, you are bound to be disappointed.
Dopamine always pushes towards more.
People have to decide what they want out of life.
People who are highly dopaminergic aren’t happy or satisfied, but the rest of us profit from their dissatisfaction.
Artists are driven more by meaning than happiness.
We talk about entrepreneurs and their constant desire for more.
It’s not true that you can have it all. You have to make choices.
Once we understand how our brains work, we can make better choices.
We talk about addiction, the power of cravings, and how to overcome cravings.
Understanding how brains work helps you understand and tolerate others.

Links
www.DanielZLieberman.com

www.TheMoleculeOfMore.com

Herb “Flight Time” Lang is an 18-year former player and coach with the World-Famous Harlem Globetrotters who is now a speaker, entrepreneur, motivator, and author. Throughout his travels, to nearly 90 countries with the Globetrotters, some of Herb’s most memorable

moments include meeting Pope Francis, President Obama, and appearing on numerous national television commercials and reality TV shows—most notably CBS’s “The Amazing Race.” He currently resides in Sacramento, California, where he is the proud father of two, and continues to make a difference through kindness and his life experiences, which he believes are the keys to maximizing what we get out of life. He is a true believer in that we are all rich with love and kindness. “Kindness Is Free!”
Highlights

Herb tells us how he was surrounded by kindness as a child and how that affected him.
He also shared what he went through physically to become one of the Harlem Globtrotters.
We talk about how his background taught him how to survive being a celebrity. He said it was important for him to never forget where he came from.
Some of the things that have given me the most pain are the things I’ve learned the most from. It taught me resilience.
“The feedback I get from others is what keeps me going.”
Herb’s positive mindset has inspired others. Being around a bunch of older people is what helped him develop the positive mindset along with his high-school basketball coach.
With the work he’s doing now, Herb is trying to teach young people how to develop kindness.
Look into a young person’s eyes and feed them all the things that you’ve learned along the way.
Things aren’t as bad as you think they are.
It takes support for us to achieve our dreams. Reach out to others.
I asked him how he deals with “the downs”. Now, he meditates and goes for daily walks. He also takes his mind back to “the kid me” where he had all his dreams.
We talk about “the wall” that often surrounds people of wealth and celebrity. Herb doesn’t have that wall.
Kindness is within all of us. We just have to let it out.
It bothers me when I see people who had a difficult childhood and now they’re doing the same things to their kids. I can only understand it and show them another way.
We are all children at heart.
The world is not a bad place.
My purpose is to do the best I can while I’m here.

Links
Herb’s book: Projects Popes and Presidents: An Inspirational Journey That Shows How You Can Overcome Life’s Obstacles and Achieve Your Dreams

Herb’s Website: www.Herblang.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/herbertflighttime.lang

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/themotivationalspeaker/

In this episode, I share a recent experience that led to a major AHA. I recognized a habitual emotion that has been with me and has affected my life for a very long time. I think a lot of you will relate to this.

Highlights

I review my basic theory about how habitual emotions are the creative force behind our life stories.
Once I realized that I had a habit of feeling sorry for myself, I looked at all the times in my life it had affected decisions I had made even though I wasn’t aware that I was feeling sorry for myself.
I have learned not to judge myself because of things I have done in the past and decisions I have made.
It takes time and practice to develop a facility with recognizing your emotions and how they affected you in the past.
Along the line, I came to understand that in order to get healthy I had to change my persona – without realizing how long that would take.
I think that the best way to get to the core of why you do what you do is to understand not only the thoughts and beliefs that go into your decision-making but also to understand the emotions behind every decision you make.
One of the things I decided to do was to learn how to let go of negative self-talk.
How often do you feel sorry for yourself?
Comparing yourself to others will often allow you to feel sorry for yourself.
Lots of successful people never reach the levels they think they ought to and even though they have a lot, they still feel sorry for themselves.
It’s not that easy to make the necessary changes by yourself.

Links
Hacking the American Mind: The Science Behind the Corporate Takeover of Our Bodies and Brains by Robert H. Lustig

If you’d like help moving your life in a more satisfying direction, click here to set up an appointment to talk to me.